043 - Don't know where to go now...

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*** Akali POV ***

Getting ready to leave as I grab all my books. Conner steps into the classroom with a furrowed brow, I glance at him as I let out a sigh, "Hey."

"You look like you are about to do something you will regret," he chuckles.

I shake my head, "No. I am just a little upset, with all of you," I look at him to see the smile fade, "DId you just think... that just after a little bit of sleep that everything will be fine?"

"I... I never wanted it to come to this."

"Never wanted me to be distant towards you? Never wanted to bring (Y/N) into this? Because I can't tell."

"You know what I mean."

"No. I don't."

He walks to the opposite end of the table, "Christ Akali. It's been like twelve years that I have known you... I don't ever want to lose you."

I sigh, rubbing my face as I can't even cry anymore, I am just so tired.

"You didn't lose me, you just disappointed me. Crushed my heart."

"Akali-"

I shake my head, "I liked you. I really did, it just sucks that I had to learn the hardest way possible what kind of person you are."

"Fred did that to me, he kept talking about how he was pulling me away from you-"

"Conner-"

"It wasn't me. I never wanted that-"

I raise my voice, "It isn't about that! Don't you get it? When (Y/N) came, it was never about thinking about me. When you could have focussed on what you really should have, all you did was focus on (Y/N) and how he became closer to me."

He then accuses me, "He came here and you instantly got attached. Even letting him help you build up that music class-"

"I have talked about music for such a long time. I could go to him because I knew I wouldn't be brushed aside or laughed at because I wanted to rap. Because he loves music just as much as I do. You don't care about it being a career why would I ask you?"

"Because I would do anything for you!"

"Even ruining my friend's life?"

He shakes his head, "It was never supposed to go like that. Fred and Henry did all of that shit on their own, I never liked him to begin with."

"Liar."

"I swear."

"It all started because you couldn't stand him calling you out, calling out Eric for treating Ahri and Evelynn like shit. They did nothing, I should have opened my eyes back then but I was too scared to lose any of you."

"What are you saying?"

"That you are all digging your own grave, how can I trust you? When all you are doing is lying to me," I feel my tears come back, "I would have trusted you with so much."

I shake my head, as he speaks again, "It isn't fair that you only blame me for this."

"I am blaming you because I expected more."

"More what?"

"I don't know, maturity?!"

"What did I do to him, Akali? Other than that?" I stay silent, he sounds like he is about to burst into tears, "Nothing. Why would I do all that, if I know the moment I get caught that I lose everything I had with you."

"Conner... just... stop."

He grows silent, as he takes a deep breath that leads into a sigh, "I am sorry," he begins, "I really am. I know I got jealous, I know that I shot myself in my own foot."

"But I promise that everything that happened came from Fred and Henry. Fred wanted to do more, he wanted to make sure everyone ended up hating him and I really tried to stop him but I can't just do that... I was terrified."

I look up at him, "I know how you feel... I didn't want to lose any of you either so I couldn't stop you."

"You knew?"

I shake my head, "I only thought of it. I thought you all did it but I couldn't confront you, I am an idiot. If I did back then, it would have been better, we wouldn't be here having this type of conversation... I wouldn't want to cry."

"I am sorry... I really am."

I nod slowly, "I know you are," then lifting myself, "I am also sorry."

"Why?"

"My answer is no."

I can see the life being drained from his face, "Akali..."

I shake my head, "Please don't-"

"After all that? Even after admitting that you liked me, all that just to crush my heart even further?"

I shake my head, "It... I can't. It is because you let it happen."

"I loved you damnit!" he then turns around, lifting his hands to his face as he sounds like he is screaming into his palms.

"I... am so sorry-"

He spins around, "No, Akali, please. I need you, I know we can make this work and I can show you that I am better than this. I will say sorry to him, make it up to-"

"Only because of me?" I shake my head at him.

"No no no no," he steps closer, "I had a crush on you forever, Akali, you can't do this to me," tears in his eyes, "Please I am begging you to just give me once chance, if I fuck up you can... you can then-"

I step away from him, "I... I can't."

"It's because of him-"

"Stop it!" I yell at him, "What does it matter? Stop thinking about (Y/N)... this all started because of you! I can't look him in the face because of you!"

"I... Akali no please..."

I realize what I just said, I then shake my head as I wipe my tears, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to yell..." turning around as I state, "I can't Conner. I just can't."

"Tell me... tell me if there is someone else."

"I liked you, Conner. I really did, but I like him more."

I admit to it, I finally admit to it knowing I just sealed the deal on another friendship. I grab my bag and bolt out the door, before I get far I hit the top of my head into someone's chin and crash down to the ground.

I wipe my tears only to feel my heart sink, "No... not now."

He grabs me by the arm, "Akali-"

"Stop saying my name... please," he instantly let's go, I look up at (Y/N)'s face... I can see the hurt in his eyes, "I... I-"

Why is everything happening now?! I can't... I don't know what to do.

I lift myself to my feet as he says, "I'm sorry."

I stop in my tracks, "Shut up," I mutter under my breath, "It isn't your fault. It's all mine," I then dash away.

I hope it will stop him, hope that those words are enough to seal the deal. I can move on, never come back. 

Please don't come and find me.


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