020 -Clarity and a little bit more

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"You are quiet."

I glance at her through the corner of my eye, then finally lift my shoulders, "Kinda. Just not in a good mood after everything that happened today."

"We could just move past it, you know?"

I nod, "I know."

"So let's do that one then, I don't know what to say to make you feel better but it does feel kind of... weird. There is Fred always forcing himself into our conversations and him... well..."

"Being after you."

She giggles, "I didn't want to just say it cause it is still a guess no matter how much my intuition or how much it seems - truth be told when you accused him only inviting you to get to me, I kinda wanted to laugh but on the other hand it looks... well you know. Very very bad on all of us."

"I know... I didn't think - but why even stick with me? After all, I could be the one lying trying to get you to stay away from them."

"I don't think you are that type of person, not after we first met each other, but if that is the case I would have pulled myself away from you in an instant."

"Lucky me."

Pushing her elbow against my arm, "Don't complain - long story short is that I don't want to believe them but you are just not being open enough for me to believe you, alright? Fred is a bit extreme and Connor is looking after his friends... you shouldn't defend people that are bad but friends get that special privilege where you bring your ugly to defend them. Even if they are wrong."

I shake my head, "If they are wrong, they are wrong."

"Tell them that," she giggles, "At least you know when you are wrong, makes it easier to talk to you without having you blow your top. So lucky me," she returns the words, I look at her as she lifts her shoulders into a cute confident gesture.

"Do you like Fred?" I ask, her smile doesn't disappear, returning her gaze to the front.

"Answer me honestly, are you jealous?"

"Not yet."

She snorts, "I guess I get my answer either way with that answer," she then shakes her head, "Hard to say, it has only been a day, I don't know him as well and there isn't any initial interest. Overall a cool and decent guy but nothing I'd chase after initially."

Twisting her lips to the side she counters, "And you?"

"Oh. I absolutely have a massive want for a bromance."

"Here I thought you'd hate him by now."

"It's getting there."

With a laugh she sighs, "Seeing as we are on the topic, is there... anything else you'd like to ask me?"

I take a deep breath, hesitating to even ask if there is something to know... that I want to know. Am I more satisfied going at it at a pace where I can play with the feelings a bit before facing it? Or do I just crush my spirit now? Then again she might not be that hard on me with her answer.

"Do you like me?" I... attempt to make eye contact with her but it falls flat on my face, almost looking like someone trying to hide their privates.

We stop in the middle of the street, she faces me fully, "I kind of do-" I look at her instantly in surprise as she quickly adds, "But I barely know much about you either. I have had an interest in you since we met - nice and sincere. Picking up on bullshit but it... kind of annoys me how you let it get to you. You almost take it too personally and then in a sense betray the things that make you awesome to hang out with. You kill yourself and I don't like seeing it."

I chuckle, "Wait till you see the worst of it."

"Please spare me," she shakes her head at me as she smiles, "But there you have it. Don't let it get to your head but... I wasn't going to tag along if you said no."

I arch my brow, "How am I supposed to not be a little bit happy about it?"

She purses her lips, "I didn't say you can't be happy," then asks as she moves, "Can I assume it's the same for me? Or am I getting too ahead of myself?"

"I do like you, kind of an instant crush."

"Really?" she giggles, "Lucky me."

"Are you going to abuse that phrase?"

"Only if I think it is true," she then steps a bit closer, "I don't want to put false expectations into your head so I will make it clear that... right now I want to focus on getting to know you and after that, we can move on."

"Isn't that-"

She nods, "I know it sounds old school and tacky but," she hesitates, "It's just a personal thing."

She clearly doesn't want to talk about it, something that maybe happened. Having moved around so much must mean she had relationships that ultimately failed because of it and doesn't want to waste her time or sit with those empty feelings.

I guess I still think it is silly, the least I can do is respect it till it actually becomes silly. When it's so clear what she wants but she never lets it through.

"Okay."

She smiles at me as we get closer to the complex. In the elevator we stay in each other's silent presence, riding it up she pushes her lips out as if she was thinking about something. Then slowly looking at me she steps forward. Pulling me close as she gives me a quick hug.

The doors open, "See you tomorrow~"

"Bye," I return a smile as I let it fade as the doors close.

I guess it is how the days end and not how they start. Stepping out of the elevator and into our apartment I hear Angel call out, "Finally. I have been waiting for ages for you," she walks up to me as she stops in place, "Why do you look like you had the worst day ever."

I shake my head, "I... uh... yeah it was pretty bad but right now I am just a bit confused."

"Cool. We are getting ready for practice."

I furrow my brow, "Now?"

"Yeah. I told you I was going to get you into the mood again so let's get going."

I guess I probably need to before I get lazy again, "I'll get dressed then."

"Cool!"


(Speedrun baby!)


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