:: one hundred fifteen ::

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-713k readers special-

700,000+ of you, wow that's quite a lot! the other night i was thinking about how if i knew i'd reach so many people around the world i wouldn't have talked about strictly american topics (like spray cheese) but it's too late for all that now. i'm feeling a lot better lately and i owe it to you all for being so patient with me! i love each and everyone of you more than i can say <3

the apartment embraced him with a warm welcome, almost like the room had been cleansed especially for his appearance. it had been so deadly quiet amongst them that when the brunette finally spoke beside him dream nearly jumped out of his skin. "i feel terrible, not in a sick way though, but in like..." his eyes followed george's movements as the shorter closed the laptop in front of them, "a terrible way i guess."

they shared a conflicted look before dream figured it was his turn to engage in the conversation. he swallowed around the knot in his throat. "soup always makes me feel better. i can order a soup?"

george quickly averted his eyes. "im not hungry." his words were accompanied by the gentle shake of his head. "its more like an uneasy nervous feeling." their eyes reconnected and dream brought up a heavy hand to brush against the brunette's cheekbone.

"im sorry, what can i do?" he frowned at the boy who only shook his head in response. dream would've loved to have kept the atmosphere light, except he couldn't help but voice the issue that had been circulating his brain since the moment the brunette showed up unannounced at his door. "you spent thanksgiving alone?"

it wasn't hard to miss how quickly george broke away from their eye contact. "i wasn't alone, wilbur was here." his sentence could've passed as a few words with the speed they left his lips at. perhaps george could always tell when the blonde was lying, but dream had the advantage of knowing the facts.

he used his knuckle to turn george's face back in his direction. his eyes followed the other's focus waiting for eye contact to be restored before continuing. "wilbur went back home for thanksgiving." the brunette seemed surprised that dream had known that much. "he asked me to go with him when you first stopped showing up, but i didn't want to leave without knowing why you had mysteriously disappeared. yet here we are and i still don't know."

the harsh sound in his voice had seemed to materialize out of nowhere, dream had been more upset about the situation than he originally thought. george's brown eyes stayed glued on his lap with a sorrowful look plastered against his lips. guilt bloomed in the blonde's stomach, assuming he had been the cause of the frown. george had already said he was feeling out of it and dream just had to go and further diminish his mood.

he was cautious of the tone of his voice now, retreating his hand from the other's face, knowing too well that his touch had been unwanted. "you know there's always a place for you at my house." sure dream had been upset george had decided to spend the day alone instead of with him, but this was also an instance where he had to put his own feelings aside. it didn't take a rocket scientist to know that george had an issue with thinking he was unwanted.

"i went back home." his soft voice was sudden and hushed like he didn't entirely want the blonde to hear him.

"what?"

"i was jealous of how well you got along with your family. i missed that feeling, so i went back home." he prayed he'd disintegrate into the fabric of the sofa and never have to talk about the story that had scared so many away already. the brunette looked as if he'd rather be anywhere but there. he pulled his knees to his chest and with the movement he hid his face behind his slim hands.

dream was scared of speaking out of turn so instead he moved his hand to light rest on the brunette's shoulder. he could tell the other was having trouble overcoming the anxiety that came with the words he wanted to speak, but dream didn't know how to help so he hoped his company would be enough.

"i grew up just like anyone else. i played sports and i was smart, just what anyone would want in a child. i was their greatest accomplishment." he took a shaky breath behind his palms, pressing harder into his face to ignore the feeling of crying. "after i came out they couldn't even look me in the eye. i used to get so much shit from her because she blamed me for him leaving."

dream now understood this miserable feeling was no longer his doing. he tried to keep up with the story the other was telling but he knew it would be helpful for george just to sort his thoughts on a topic dream wasn't sure he had confronted yet.

"as soon as i turned 18 i moved, i didn't write her a note or anything, i just packed all my things and left. jared wasn't only my first roommate, but he was also the first person who made me believe i didn't have to live with being labeled by my sexuality. yeah, he was an asshole but because of him i actually started to feel like a person again, that's probably why i let him stick around for so long. i didn't need him anymore after i met you."

dream moved in closer to the brunette to try and show he understood, the only support he could give, sure he wouldn't say the right words if even given the chance.

"wilbur said it would be a good idea to visit her before the holiday to get 'closure' or something like that. i thought it was dumb but then you seemed so excited to introduce me to your mom and i wanted to be as proud as you were."

"i'm really sorry george, i had no idea." finally, dream pulled the brunette into his arms, waiting for him to let down his defences and blend into the hug.

"it's not your fault." he pressed his face into the blonde's chest and dream hoped it would help make him feel wanted.

imagine i published this chapter during george lore, oh well. i had to write this chapter down on paper so i could make it actually sound like a real conversation, and i think it could still use some work, but i'm done with it for now

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