Satan School of Sophomores

For What I've Become: 1/25/15

11:17am Sunday, January 25

Ah I think it'd be so cool to live somewhere else for a bit. Maybe a month or two at a school in Great Britain. I don't know. I feel inspired, because I'm reading Georgia Nicolson: Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging, and it's always so fucking hilarious.

11:52am
I'm horny. I'm feeling nostalgic. Those days when I used to have a boyfriend but didn't know what to do with him. I had no sex drive. Now I do, so?????????

12:37pm
I'm trying to clear up my mind by clearing up my room. It didn't work. I wonder if he thinks about me as much as I think about him. He probably doesn't. But oh how I wish he did.

12:45pm
I try to believe that everything has logic, but it feels like so many things don't.

I wish I was in Paris a few weeks ago, rioting. I want to be involved in things greater than liking boys and who has better heels.

At the same time, I want to go to parties and sneak out. I want to kiss boys and wake up in strange houses.

1:27pm
My parents are acting so lovey dovey, and I'm grateful for that. But also a little ew.

Dear boys,
Stop confusing me. Just grope me. Despite contrary belief, I will like it.
-confused, semi-delinquent girl

2:59pm
I love how when I actually like a guy, all the ideas about what I want in a boy go out the window. Eye color, hair color, personality, it all depends on the person. My "type" suddenly doesn't matter.

3:26pm
I love my imaginative inner being.

5:09pm
hugs & hair tugs

6:20pm
My dad and I laughing while watching a British cooking show makes me so happy I could cry tears of joy.

7:02pm
Now I'm crestfallen.
Why?
Because I can't masturbate correctly.
Why?
Because I am fond of a boy who is distracting and is playing with my emotions.
What do you want him to do?
Help me out.
With?
Er----things that involve things that are like masturbating.

Boys are the root of all my problems.

I've for a few weird fetishes that I can't even bare to mention. I'm so odd and odd and odd. I want a boyfriend even though it is such a shallow want. How stupid of me.

What would I do with one anyway?
Take him for a walk in the park?
Feed him?

I could obtain a dog and have the same effect.

7:17pm
I'm listening to nerve-racking music. This song is called Stress for a reason.

7:21pm
I'm Not Sorry by PAPA

This is me.
I feel crazy all the time. As if the thoughts inside my cranium are disgusting, wrong or outright ridiculous. I want to feel at piece within, but all I feel is shame. I'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry to change. I'm a damn broken up, mixed mess, and I like it that way. I love myself.

Kurt Cobain's daughter is smokin hot.

Music is really making my mind and body feel tonight.

8:51pm
Everyone made me feel bad about my ass. That's the only reason I don't like it. It wasn't my own decision! People just told me I had a bad ass.