Satan School of Sophomores

Smooch Skill: 4/28/15

9:21pm Tuesday, April 28

I was reading my book just now, when a plot twist shattered my world. I won't get into specifics, but basically, it's not really a happy ending as far as I can see at this moment. I was saddened. I thought, 'What the fuck!?? Now I must read a happy love story to soothe my fresh wound.' So, I went over to my book piles/shelves to look for a lovey-dovey, boy-meets-girl book. I realized quite quickly, I do not own such a book. Not a single book that is sappy and sweet, a true love-romance type. Nope. All my books consist of anorexic, depressed, broken homes, drug addicted, sexual abuse, cult-following, sadistic, or informational/international. This is where I've been learning my romance POV from. These sad, terrifying "romance" books. It is no wonder I have a skewed perception. I haven't picked up a classic love story since sixth grade. I'm dark. I've learned from these books that everyone is fucked up, and love rarely happens to the best of us. Damn. I should've read Jane Austen instead.

9:31pm
Remember January? Such simpler times of joy and splendor. I will gaze into the past.

You know what is a hoot and a holler?
I make out with a guy for a few months, then I get dumped on my ass like slipping on a gymnasium floor and spraining your tailbone, but you don't go to the doctor, because eventually the pain subsides. I'm not just talking about ole Robby Rob. This has happened once before. If I think about it, the funny part is, I kiss boys, yet I still don't know how to kiss at all, because I'm so heartbroken from the break up, that I lose the skill while in recovery, because it takes me about a year to six months to recover. I take things like that really hard. I may not show it, but I'm really hurting. Truly, a skunk with its tail chewed off. My wound may seem unimportant, and I can still continue living, but having to see the absence of a thing I treasured is what hurts more than ever. Yes, I really quite enjoy the thought of someone thinking of me in a sexual way, actually caring if I'm sad, asking me questions and my opinion, hugging me, complimenting me, then I do the same in return, and I do it to the best of my abilities, wholeheartedly. I'm incredibly loyal if I really am into a guy. I can't imagine being any other way.

9:44pm

Great. Now I'm crying. This book is exactly my life, and it is devilish.