Satan School of Sophomores

Inbetweener: 11/4/14

6:40am Tuesday, November 4

Sometimes I go back and think about freshman year. -How cruel it was. How cold. Like I was in a constant wind storm, rubbing my face and body raw as I tried to fight against the nonstop pain.

But, now it's different. I'm self-aware. I know I look pretty good, not stunning, or anyone you'd take a second glance at walking past in the mall food court, but I've got some things worth wanting. I'm not stare-worthy, but I've got nice hair.

10:10am
It's math class. Almost out, and I'm watching the division of the social cliques. The popular bitches (these particular ones are, they're not all bad), the indie/exchange students, the nerds (I like them, but the video game talk is a bore), and the inbetweeners who aren't really doing anything. Well, I'm an inbetweener, but I'm reading. The guy next to me is staring off into a space. Raul. He doesn't speak that great of English, but he is nice. Back to Pretenders.

2:37pm
I'm looking at the back of this boy's head in the library. At least I think he's a boy (like not adult, I'm not questioning his gender). It's before school lets out, so I can't be too sure. I'm out of school early, because my daddio had to get the winter tires put on our Jeep, and he asked if I wanted to get out of school early. Plus, I need a hair trim.

But, while I wait alone (dad is at the tire place), I'll look at this guy from behind and pretend he's really attractive. My outfit is borderline slutty. I regret it *slightly.* Boy toy here is kind of a nerd, playing some computer game my brother would love. He has dark brown hair (like Kota). Lucky for him I find (hot) nerds well you know... hot. The longboard he has leaning against the table where his laptop is only makes him that much more interesting and adorable. Ugh. What does his face look like? Is he hot? I have a knack for cute boys in libraries, but that's another story. Where's my chap stick? Where's my book? I should read and stare some more at this guy.

Some day we will meet again, longboard-gamer-nerd-library guy...

6:34pm
Just to tell you, when I got up to leave, I looked him right in the face, expecting a Kota look-alike, he looked just not that great. I'm sure he's a nice guy but....

Library guy isn't cute. What a shame.

And I guess I never really described what Kota looks like in the first place.

Cute, short dark brown hair just the right length - not too short. Dark brown, bedroom eyes, a glint of cheeky and almost a flash of something like wonder-innocence. When he smiles, it's a perfect smirk no matter what. His teeth beautifully straight. I'm slightly jealous. He's about 5'10"-11, medium build not too lanky with broad-ish shoulders and a flat-ish butt that I adore. I like him just the way he is.

10:11pm
May life taste
like dark chocolate
and my heart
peel back the layers
of unjust disgust

I had a forty minute phone call with dear Sasha today. It's nice to catch up with a friend from the Middle Ages (middle school). She's a dear soul. I miss her companionship, but it's nice to watch her pave her own driveway. She said I'm a lot more crazy than I was in middle school. Ha! Understatement of the year.

Hayley and Olive got in a bit of a tiff after Hayley wrote Olive a letter telling Olive basically: Stop being a big mouth idiot about my dealings, and you are completely crazy.

I'll go into detail with that later, too.

Au revoir!