Satan School of Sophomores

Shut Your Mouth: 4/22/15

9:45pm Wednesday, April 22

I feel so pathetic and dumb to think I even have a chance with Rob. He's made it so clear that he has no interest in me, yet I persist. It feels so right to like him. He loves all the things I do, and we have so much in common. I guess it's time for me to move on. For real this time. I have been inching my way away from him for a while now. We will never chat like we used to, I always feel so awkward and nervous as hell around him. Rob walks all over me. I'm so ridiculous.

I wish the guy I liked would like me back just as much. I always dive head first while he's barely dipped a toe in.

I need to forget about guys in general. They're the root of all my problems. The only guy I don't have a problem with is my dad.

Now I'm so sad.
I'm such a damn spaz and a complete psycho with no chill. I'm freaky and bitchy and awful. I'm sorry to all my friends. How could they ever wanna be friends with me? Just today I asked, "Do you guys tune me out sometimes?" And Scarlet flat out said yes. I died a little inside. Maybe all the words I say are as meaningless as I feel. Maybe everyone I know is tired of me and my idiotic thoughts and opinions. I need to keep my mouth shut.

What is wrong with me? I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm stressing.

I had a good day up until now.