Feelings come whenever they feel, no time limit or warning. Sometimes those feelings can become chaotic , stirring up some drama.
BFL (Best Friends's lover)
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Smiling at the progress report, it wasn't a question that I'll be finishing off the gear strong. Colleges have been reaching out to me about my SAT/ACT scores and offering me full ride scholarships. Some coaches are reaching out about playing football for them, even though I couldn't finish the season. I'm glad my future isn't in jeopardy because of the stupid shit from earlier this year. It's crazy to think that graduation is less than two weeks away so we'll be getting cleared soon.
I've passed all my finals with a eighty or above so I'm good. Getting a big trash bag, I went to my locker cleaning it out. It's crazy that I really won't be coming back for another year, this is the end but also a new chapter in my life. "I'm gonna cry" Jaylen walked up to me, as her mascara ran from the tears spilling down her face. "I can't even handle this, how am I suppose to feel on graduation" she started sobbing as I laughed at her dramatics but I get where she's coming from.
Giving her a side hug to comfort her, she pushed me away. "Get your filthy ass hands off me" she joked, digging through my locker and taking out old snacks. "This shit is molded as hell" she said in disgust, tossing it in the trash bag.
"Now this is just nasty" she pulled out a dirty clothes bag of musty clothing from practice and gym. "How do you live with yourself" she pinched her nose, backing away from the locker as I stood there neutral. I would always plan to clean it out but never got around to it. It's clothes that's been in there since first semester that hasn't been touched in months.
"No one told you to look inside my locker" I defended myself as she rolled her eyes.
Jaylen flicked me off, her expression turning into a serious one. "I wanna thank you for helping Laila get back on track" she sincerely said not a joke insight which caught me off guard. Jaylen never really had real conversations, she was always joking or being a pain in the ass twenty-four seven.
"No problem" I replied honestly, I know how close they are and it probably broke her knowing her friend was addicted to them.
"Can I be honest for a minute" she asked.
"Always"
"Do you really like Laila" she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can be honest".
"Uh yea" I answered in confusion as she straight faced me. Jaylen shook her head, looking around. "I think y'all really need to think and talk about some things".
"Why" , I was lost about where all of this is coming from. The rest of the crew seemed to be supportive of the relationship and even her at one point.
"The way everything started wasn't exactly a great way to form a relationship" she spoke. "Y'all weren't thinking straight, y'all were high most of the time. Those feelings came from the both of you feeling vulnerable." , she admitted as it caused me to think in deep thoughtful, she made perfect sense. One of the reasons I haven't been sure whether or not to take it further with Laila. "You just got out of a relationship and it looks like you're trying to find a rebound".
"Just think about it" she patted my shoulder, leaving me stuck.
Jaylen made a lot of sense, and it made me wonder some things. We're my feelings real or based off the fact that we were both going through things? The most we did together on a daily is pop pills and drown in sorrows, that's not healthy. Our feelings are based off of us confiding in each other about topics that bothered us. Laila is a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul but maybe the feelings aren't that genuine.
Deciding to let the subject go for a moment. I put my pride aside, finally going over to my ex-best friend's locker. Him and Aubrey stood together arguing over a bag of chips. "I never putting anything in your locker again", Aubrey fussed, snatching the dollar away from him. "They don't even sell those chips at the concession stand" she turned around in irritation, storming off.
Jeremy ran a hand down his face, laughing to himself.
"Hey" I trailed off as his eyes widened in shock. "You over your little temper tantrum" Jeremy scoffed, returning back to cleaning his locker.
"Okay, I deserve that" I responded. "I don't smoke anymore, I'm not taking drugs anymore" I informed him, catching his attention. He wanted to smile but kept a straight face. "That's good, man".
"I just wanna say that I'm sorry for me acting different this year" I apologized, as he raised his eyebrow, standing against his locker. Aubrey came back, standing next to him, looking in between us in confusion. "I think I let the wins from the games get to my head and trying to become something I'm not" I confessed as he stood with the same blank expression, showing no emotion. "I'm sorry for costing us the championship with my bullshit. You were right we shouldn't have pull that prank"
"I didn't think anyone was gonna find out or snitch", I sighed.
"I told the principle" Jeremy confessed making Aubrey and I's eyes widened. Out of all the people who knew, he never crossed my mind. "W-w" he cut me off, starting to explain. "I never agreed with any of it. You betrayed the homie Nat man and that's something we agreed on not doing. You went against that, you got out of control"
"It irked me that you walked around like you won a fucking trophy" he clenched his jaw as Aubrey rubbed his back from support. "I couldn't let you continue to be a bad influence on the freshmen and sophomores. They started to think it was okay and cool to do some sickening shit like that"
"It cost everyone the season tho, no one on the team could pla-"
"I know but I couldn't continue to watch you go down that path. I saw a dark place ahead and friends or not, I can't see that happening."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, it caused me the last few games of my senior year but I'll start back up in college".
Giving him a hug, a real nigga is close to shedding a tear. He is one of the realest friends I've ever had. It amazed me to know that even though we weren't on good terms, he still wanted nothing but the best for me. Although, it ended up with me in weeks of trouble, it was definitely worth it. "Thank you", pulling away as he nodded, his hands in his pocket.
"No problem man, glad to have you back" he pointed a finger in my chest.
Hearing sniffling we both looked to the left seeing Aubrey, sniffling.
"Awwww" she cooed, using a tissue to wipe her eyes.
