Photograph (Elizabeth Olsen Fanfic)

Chapter 41

"Did Joan tell you to talk to me?" She whispers as she started stroking my hair. I gave her a small smile and nod. She lets out a sigh and adjust her position making herself comfortable me my head resting on her lap still.

"Alright, what do you want to talk about?" I still am having second thoughts about this but Joan really has a point. I really need to just release what I'm feeling to her.

"Uh, About us. About all of this." She nods her head giving me the permission to continue but before that, I secured her free hand in mine placing a kiss on it and that made a small smile on her face.

"You know when I said. I'd tell you everything. I really haven't been doing that and I'm really sorry." I focused my attention on our hands clasped together because somehow I'm afraid to look at her and see just disappointment in her eyes.

"It's just hard to say everything when I see you so happy and smiling and being adorable as you are. I know its not a good fucking reason but with all that is happening, I just couldn't take that away from you. The truth is, I haven't been feeling that good ever since the night before we fly here. I haven't got that much sleep because of my nightmares. I told you some of them but I don't have the heart to tell you about the bad ones."

"Honey, you don't ha-"

"I know. But you wouldn't understand where I'm coming from if you don't really know what is going on in my head."  She doesn't reply and just continue to stroke my hair as she listens to what I'd say.

"That dream I had the other night, when you said  you couldn't wake me up. That was the worst so far and I remembered every detail of it. I was in a dark alley with Robbie he had a knife in his hands." I felt her hand tighten in mine so I gently placed a kiss on her hand trying to reassure her. I know this is harder for her to hear but I need to make her understand.

"He was blaming me for all these things. The rumors, the affair. He said I caused all of this, that I put you in that situation where it seems like you were the bad guy and somehow I didn't disagree because for some reason I believed him. But still I was throwing some shade at him and he got pissed so he grabbed me in his arms and and slide the sharp knife on my cheek. Then he told me he could kill me and you wouldn't know I died, he'll just make it look like I just left you. I told him you wouldn't believe a word he say and he got pissed till the next thing I knew he had already stabbed me with the knife" I hear her gasp as she pulls me closer to her and now my head is resting in her arms, I can hear her heart beating so fast as her hand grips on mine. I look up to her seeing glassy eyes. So I offered a small smile just to lighten the situation a bit.

"Did you die?" She whispers.

"No baby not that I know of. When he left me bleeding out, I didn't care if I just got stabbed, all I was thinking was you. You called me and you were mad because I wasn't answering your calls. I struggled to talk and I was asking for you to go home to your mom's but you said you'll look for me and I remember in that moment I heard Robbie's voice in the phone call I felt my world crashed down I was shouting for you to get out of my house and that's when I woke up. It felt so real, that when I woke up I thought I died. But what did got stuck in my head was everything he said to me." I felt her lips touched my forehead as I got lost in my own thoughts dwelling on them just for me to release everything.

"When I told Joan what were my dreams are. She said I might've fallen out from our truth and I realized, I was letting what people are telling me in and that was pushing me away from what is true and somehow it was also pushing me away from you." I looked up to her and she gives me a small nod in agreement to what I just said.

"You're somewhere else these past few days baby. Not here and I was getting scared because its been days and I still couldn't find you." She whispers making me sigh and look away.