Living In My Head (Drarry)

By deathbyinsomnia

226K 9.3K 6.3K

An AU story where all things began under different circumstances. There is no magic, no ministry, only The Ac... More

Chapter 0: Disclaimer/Author's Note
Chapter 1: Leaving the Dursleys
Chapter 2: 9 and 3-Quarters
Chapter 3: Piercing, Silver Eyes
Chapter 4: I'm A Klutz
Chapter 5: Late to Class
Chapter 6: Sold My Soul
Chapter 7: The (Almost) Fight
Chapter 8: Friend or Foe
Chapter 9: Dinner is Served
Chapter 10: Hard to Explain
Chapter 11: Here's the Truth (Part 1 of 2)
Chapter 12: Here's the Truth (Part 2 of 2)
Chapter 13: Bedridden and Alone
Chapter 14: Only In Dreams
Chapter 15: Released From Prison
Chapter 16: An Ulterior Motive
Chapter 17: Hit and Miss
Chapter 18: Losing My Mind
Chapter 19: Skipping Astronomy Class
Chapter 20: A Generous Invitation
Chapter 21: A Big Decision
Chapter 22: Taking It Easy
Chapter 23: For the Asking
Chapter 24: The Falling Snow
Chapter 25: Making Proper Arrangements
Chapter 26: You're Hiding Something
Chapter 27: The "Shopping Spree"
Chapter 28: The First Goodnights
Chapter 29: O' Departed Joys
Chapter 30: Bring Your Worst
Chapter 31: Playing the Game
Chapter 32: Actions I Regret
Chapter 33: Recounting Old Memories
Chapter 34: I Can Imagine
Chapter 35: Skipping the Pleasantries
Chapter 36: For My Own
Chapter 37: A Modest Proposal
Chapter 38: The Morning After
Chapter 39: The First Date (Part 1 of 2)
Chapter 40: The First Date (Part 2 of 2)
Chapter 41: Draco's Weakened Defenses
Chapter 42: When Choosing Truths
Chapter 44: More than Comfort
Chapter 45: Mister Dorian Gray
Chapter 46: End of Chimes
Chapter 47: Waiting for Answers
Chapter 48: I'm Moving On
Chapter 49: Not Officially, No
Chapter 50: Something So Small
Chapter 51: The Night Bus
Chapter 52: The Freezing Chill
Chapter 53: Feeling So Helpless
Chapter 54: Forgiven, Not Forgotten
Chapter 55: The Photo Album
Chapter 56: Long Story, Short
Chapter 57: Weight of Gravity
Chapter 58: Dynamics in Misunderstanding
Chapter 59: Spoken Through Touch
Chapter 60: Sense of Intimacy
Valentine's Interlude
Chapter 61: Illusion of Perfection
Chapter 62: The Final Countdown
Chapter 63: A Phantom Limb
Chapter 64: Release Memory's Hold
Draco POV 1 (chap 62-64)
Author's Note
Chapter 65: Points of Interest
Chapter 66: Breathe, Little Deer
Chapter 67: Dealing with "Things"
Chapter 68: Dreams One Has
Chapter 69: All Doubts Aside
Draco POV 2 (chap 66-69)
Chapter 70: As Time Passes
Chapter 71: Out of Practice
Chapter 72: Griffindor Pride
Chapter 73: The Double Date
Chapter 74: Before the Storm
Chapter 75: The Yule Ball
Epilogue
The Complete Track List

Chapter 43: I Miss Him

2.2K 104 70
By deathbyinsomnia

A.N.

Chapter song: Only Time by Enya

~ Sunday: Day 13~

I woke up to the feeling of cold sheets and no boy curled up against my side, his mouth resting on my neck. Just an empty bed. The light glaringly bright through the white curtains. I place my feet on the floor and I blink my vision into focus. Almost everything in the room is lacklustre. When Draco was here, I never noticed, but the room is so colorless. So impersonal. The room was clean, orderly, and it almost made me sick to my stomach.

I stand uneasily, the blood rush making me slightly dizzy when my eye catches a note left atop the dresser on my side of the room. Draco. I walk over to the note scrawled on a piece of printer paper, his handwriting as neat as ever.

Harry,

I'm so sorry I never got the chance to say goodbye.

My father was insisting that we leave as early as possible.

We have to be on the strip in London at 1pm.

I swear the sun hasn't even risen yet.

Sometimes I wonder if he has some bats up in the belfry.

I hope you laughed, Harry, I'm awful at jokes when I'm rushing.

Anyhow, I'll see you when I get back and we'll celebrate your birthday as I promised.

Just you and me.

It'll have to be after the New Year's party but I'm sure we can make it work.

I can't wait to see you when I get back.

Sincerely, Draco.

P.S.

Yesterday you told me you loved me, I was really shocked.

I hope you hadn't taken my hesitation as a rejection.

Because, honestly, I think I love you too, Harry.

Don't miss me too much while I'm gone, okay? :p

I felt my heart sink, I do miss him, but missing him is pointless. He may not even want to be with me once he returns.

I yank off my shirt, desperately trying to shake the shivering in my spine. I'm panicking. Need to calm down. I open the doors onto the balcony and lean my head against the stone rails, quaking as the cold wind blows against my skin, the concrete under my feet coated in snow.

How peculiar. I didn't think it would snow.

The thought doesn't stop my panic, the shivering worsened by the cold. I barely register a knock at the door and a quiet voice before I hear the slapping of shoes against the hardwood floor. I feel arms wrap around my chest, yanking me back.

"Harry, come inside. Please! You'll catch your death out here!"

Draco's mom?

I let her pull me inside and sit me down on the unmade bed, her eyes worriedly searching my face.

"Are you alright, sweetheart? You're shaking so hard!" She yanks the comforter off the neighboring bed and wrapping it around me. "What's wrong? Why did you go outside like that? It's freezing out there."

I felt the feeling of panic subside as I see the kindness in her eyes. A kindness that reminded me of Draco. "I was having an anxiety attack. Nothing to worry about."

"What triggered it?" she asks, taking my wrist and looking at her watch, checking my pulse.

"Stress, I think. I stress over everything."

Her eyes soften as she puts a lock of my hair behind my ear, "That doesn't make it any less significant, sweetheart, I've seen attacks before. Does Draco know?"

"Yes. I told him recently."

"Good, then he can help you come down from your attacks."

"He has since before he knew. He's one of my best friends, Missus Malfoy, and I'm grateful to him."

"Yes, he is a very good boy." she muttered fondly, looking closely at my face, most likely looking for signs of distraught feelings still remaining. "You're a good influence on him. He's never stood up to Lucius before, you know. I was proud of him for that. Draco cares too much about his father's opinion of him, if you ask me. Also, call me Narcissa, or Narcy if you feel so willing, I wish to make friends with you while they're gone. I wish to know you for myself."

"Thank you for your concern, Miss Narcissa."

"Again, with the formalities." she tsked, smiling as she unwrapped the blanket from around me and placing it neatly on the bed. "But I suppose it'll do. Come, join Dobby and I for breakfast."

"I should change first," I say uncomfortably, noticing that she's already dressed in a fine silk shirt and black dress pants. "I'd feel underdressed."

"These are just my house clothes, dear, don't feel obligated. But I'll humor you. Please be downstairs in five minutes, by then the table will be set with breakfast."

"Yes, Miss."

She settled her hand on my head, letting it linger briefly before tying her hair back into a ponytail as she exited the room. Draco is a lot like his mother, he has her nature but he has his father's stubborn mindset and rigid stature.

What a combination.

I pull on one of my large tees and a pair of black sweatpants with a vague band logo on it. Seeing as Lucius isn't here, there's no need to dress up, I suppose. I stop, my eyes lingering on the note and I fold it neatly before pushing it into my pocket.

I walk slowly down the staircase, trying to keep my eyes steady ahead of me. The habit of watching my feet will do me in. I am met with the sound of bacon sizzling in the kitchen. Oh, Dobby, you shouldn't have. My mind races with happy thoughts of bacon and eggs.

I walk significantly faster down the stairs, met with the sight of Narcissa and Dobby twittering excitedly over something I can't hear. As soon as I cross the threshold, I am met with the sight of the table covered in bacon, french toast, eggs, various fruit, and regular toast with jams and butters assorted around them.

Am I in heaven?

"Come on, Harry, don't stand there like a gaping fish, make a plate." Dobby said with a grin, to which I readily obliged.

A.N.

So... I updated since I promised a few of you that I would... I'm late, sure, and I'm still extremely behind on my backlog... But I still updated. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Draco's note (written by me, duh) is in media bar. :)

~deathbyinsomnia

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