Please don't be offended if your religion or Holiday is not included in the next three chapters or if people who celibate it are portrayed as a stereotype of any kind. I litteraly rolled a die to see what beliefs were used in most situations. I have no problem with any holidays, religion, beliefs or lack there of. I'm 100% pro freedom of religion. Thank you. Have a nice day
*Mabels Point of View
I wake up to find bright light shining through the window. I look over. Dippers still asleep. I throw on the green sweater I made last night. It has light bulbs on it as if I'm wearing a Christmas tree! I loooove this time of year. Back home, it never snowed. Today I'm going to find Candy and Grenda and make snow angles, and snow men, and a snow fort, and snow cones. Anything that starts with snow, and I'll do it!
I sneak up on Dipper. Gunkle Ford's 4th journal lays on his chest. He's snoring. Its so cute!
I jump onto his bed and yell a battle cry in his face.
He screamed like a little girl! I roll off the bed laughing. I feel a little bad. Not really. That was incredibly awesome!
"Mabel! Are you serious?" He asks, brushing off his shirt even though nothing was there.
"No, I'm silly and immature. I thought we established this." I say as seriously as I can, and soon I'm doubled over. It's been forever since I did that! Oh I miss this. I wish we were 12 again. We act like it sometimes though.
"Kids! Breakfast! I made my world famous Stancakes!" Stan calls up the stairs. We both shutter at the thought of hairy pancakes.
"And I made waffles in case you don't wish to consume arm hair by the pound!" Grunkle Ford calls after him. I'll have some of both so everyone is happy. Besides, my stomach can handle anything.
"Be right down!" Called Dipper. I skipped downstairs so he could get changed.
I jump off the last stair, did a spin in midair and slid into the kitchen. Dippers soon followed, but all normal and boring.
"So what do you guys want to do today?" Grunkle Ford asked us, pulling up a chair to sit with us. Grunkle Stan is still turned to the stove.
"I'm going to see if the Crawl Space still operates in the winter and if it changes. Ill need a disguise of course. I've been an elf before, so I might try that. Wanna come with me?" Dipper spits chunks of food as he rapidly speaks.
"I'm gonna hang out with Candy and Grenda. I even made a fun winter sweater just for today!" I exclaim. Grunkle Stan turns around and drops the plate of pancakes. No loss there.
"NO! You are NOT going out there in that. You're my favorite Grand-niece and I don't want you getting killed!" He exclaims.
"Grunkle Stan, what are you talking about?" Dipper asks, pointing his fork at Grunkle Stan.
"Its that week again." He snarls.
"Wait. They still do that? Years ago I saw people almost DIE! I thought they'd put an end to it!This crazy town! First the election process. Then there's the whole marriage to Woodpeckers thing. And the Woodstick festival. And Summerween. Then there's the never mind all that act. Now this is still going on? Hmm, I think I forgot something." Grunkle Ford seems pretty mad.
"Hey Poindexter. You forgot that this town is magic, is the starting point of an almost Armageddon, and nobody in this town is even CLOSE to normal!" Grunkle Stan snapped.
"You never told us. Whats going on? Why can't I wear my sweater?" I ask. Grunkle Stan sits down. They both adjust their glasses at the same time.
"Well, its a long story. It all started years ago. Everyone in the town was getting ready for the holidays. Christmas Trees were being chopped down and put in windows. Menorahs were brought out. Banners were hung. Traditional garments were worn. The Corduroys got out their crossbows and Camouflage. Everyone was happy.
But then a person said Happy Holidays to a group of people. They got a mixed response. Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Season Greetings, Happy Kwanzaa. And more, of course. Those are the most popular around here though.
This grew to an argument. Which grew to a friendly competition. Which grew to the entire town. Which grew to rivalry. Which eventually turned violent. Nobody knows how, but then people started dividing. Houses were vandalized, or even burnt down for what they had in their window.
People seemed to realize that this was all petulant and foolhardy. But instead of putting an end to it, they compressed it and applied minor rules.
Every home must declare their holiday with a flag outside their house for a week. All before any of the holidays. If your flag is taken, you loose the privilege of publicly calibrating your holiday. Whatever flag is most common at the end of the week is declared winner and the town must all partake in its calibration.
I always found that Christmas seemed to win the most because they seem to overwhelm the others. Stores here won't even carry certain items until afterwards so they don't get in trouble with the local authorities, which guess what? In Gravity Falls, to become a police officer, you have to beet the mayor and all other officers in a game of Hint. So the town has always been run by incapable officers because real police all go elsewhere." Grunkle Ford crosses his arms.
"But, but these holidays are part of people's religion! You can't force them to not celibate!" I exclaim.
"Yeah! What about the Bill of rights?" Dipper demands. We all involuntarily shutter at the word Bill.
"Nothing normal or fair applies here. We're just west of weird. It even says so on our new town sign. So in other words, Mabel sweetie, go change." Grunkle Stan huffs. I sulk upstairs. I throw on a dark blue one with white and gold stripes. I'm almost out of sweaters already! I need to go to the mall. Or make more of my own. Probably a bit of both. I head back downstairs.
"Now you look like team Honukka. Try again. You know what? Just eat. We can deal with it later." Grunkle Stan sighs. I wolf down my waffles and floor-stancakes. Hair and dirt. Eww. At least he remembered to add sprinkles. Grunkle Ford is always trying to bribe me or content me with vitamin supplements. I'll take the dirty hair batter, thank you very much.
Dipper helps me find a reasonable sweater that I haven't already worn before. It doesn't exist. I couldn't wear my Shooting Star one. Its almost to the point where it fits me! Then I get an idea! I take a dark blue one with no pictures or patterns. I only have it to make emergency need-to-be-made-now sweaters. Dipper knows whats going down and makes a run for it.
A few minutes and a lot of hasty sewing and fabric later, I made myself a new favorite sweater.
Its dark blue, like I said, and has a white snowflake on it that I cover in that special paint that when exposed to light for long enough, glows in the dark. The snowflake has the same colorful shooting star stripes as my Shooting Star sweater but this one is twice my size, just as I like it.
I put it in front of the fan so the paint drys. Something is missing. I GOT IT! I quickly grab a handful of perma-stick glitter and throw it as the sweater and on the back. It quickly attaches itself to my new sweater and gave it that Mabel glow.
I'm a genius.
After my sweater dried I slip it on over my specially printed T-shirt. Ever since my run in with Anti-Mabel, I wear one of my 37 copies of the shirt. It was all I could afford. It says 'I'm actually the real Mabel!' On it. Don't judge.
I go downstairs and am glad it passed the inspection. Dipper and Ford come through the door to the basement. Its hilarious! They have an enchantment to make their ears long and pointy. They each are wearing robe-like elf uniforms with sandals. Grunkle Ford has a quiver on his back and carries a bow. Dipper has a spear, that he knows how to use from his *ahem* manly adventure a few years back. They're gonna be FREEZING out there! I run put the door to go see Candy and Grenda before I burst out laughing. I hear Grunkle Stans laughter as I go. I missed this.
When I finally get to their house -their families split a house to save money btw- I knock loudly. Grenda answers.
"Mabel! I thought you weren't going to come! I missed you! Also! My voice seems to be getting louder!" She yells. I give her a hug.
"I missed you to! Hey, wheres Candy?" I ask. Her face goes dark.
"That trader to humanity isn't here. She is no friend of mine. At least not this week! Ha! Lets go ambush anyone wearing Christmas gear!" She says, pushing past me and picking up an entire snowman.
"Wait. What?" I ask as she proceeds to throw the entire thing at a group of carolers. They all scream and scatter but an old lady and a little kid still get knocked to the ground. Grenda picks up the other snowman and throws it at a teenager at least 40 feet away. Like a sniper. He is quickly buried in snow.
I have my work cut out for me.