(LUBAO)
It's all a mess. Really.
I cannot understand myself anymore. I did nothing wrong. All I did was help my friends, Qing and Dayu, get their happy ending.
So why am I feeling guilty enough to avoid Wang SengYou.
I did nothing wrong.
"Fuck this!" I muttered darkly under my breath. I heard a faint gasp and looked up to see the paid intern in the Audit Department of Wang Medicals looking at me with fear in his eyes.
"Oh, I am not cursing at you." I winced while making that clear. "It's this stapler...it won't cooperate."
I have been reading and rereading documents, writing notes along the line or in the margins and stapling things together for hours now. I am currently having a hard time grappling with a stack of papers I need to staple together.
It's because my hands, and my mind really, are not steady enough.
I should not feel any guilt. I just help.
"Fuck this," I muttered again. The paid intern slipped a folder on the cluttered surface of my table before moving away from me in haste.
Great. Now the paid intern probably thinks I am a psychopath.
Wonderful.
"Ger a grip of yourself, Chen LuBao. Get a grip...fuck!" I sighed and surrendered. I pushed the stapler aside and scratch my head, "I will kill Wang Qing. See if I don't."
This is all that jerk's fault. Why? Why in God's name does he had to drag me with him when he had his epic showdown with his family.
And why, for all that is holy, did I agree to get dragged into this? Why?
Am I turning into a sappy martyr? Sacrificing my peace of mind for Qing and Dayu? For their love? What?
Ugh!
I need a stiff drink. I should call LiYan. She is my favorite drink buddy for now. We made true of our promise to meet up one night to drink away and we had such a blast. I find that like me, LiYan cursed people when she finally admitted that she is drunk.
"Fuck that Wang Qing! Who does he think he is?! Some hot lumberjack in his full beard and moustache? Why is he so miserable? I only want him to he happy. That's all I want! And Dayu! Fuck Dayu...he is so cute."
LiYan is adorable. Plus we both hate the same person
"Fuck my boss' brother. That Wang SengYou, how dare he walks around so confidently and break hearts?! How?!" LiYan wailed after we consumed one whole bottle of tequila between us.
"Yeah, fuck him!" I agreed.
Seriously, one of us needs to fuck Wang SengYou. I think I should do it. To get him out of my mind and system, if for nothing else.
I don't have to feel any guilt. The Wangs were asking for that showdown with Wang Qing yesterday. They practicall begged for it. "Fuck, was it just yesterday? Shit," I muttered below my breath again.
It feels like a lifetime ago. But it was just yesterday. Goddamnit.
"Sir," I raised my head when someone approached my table. The paid intern is back. I should really learn the names of the people in this Audit Department.
"Yes?" I tried for a smile but by the way the paid intern winced at me, I think I am failing.
"Dr.Wang SengYou's office called again. Dr.Wang is asking when can he talk to you about some matter regarding the patients' informations. I am also not sure..."
That will make two of us. Because I am also not sure if this is wise. Being here. On the same company with my new obssession. Being the same building with the man who refused my love but would love to give me some dick.
I should stop thinking altogether.
"Can you call them back and tell Dr.Wang that we are still swamped with work? And papers. So many papers to sort out. As you can see," I gestured with my two arms on my desk that is heavily laden with stacks of documents to read and reevaluate.
The paid intern gave me a confuse look. "You are saying no to meeting Dr.Wang?" He asked puzzledly.
"Yes. Tell them we will call once we got every details on that ready," I replied with a nod.
The paid intern gave me a look like he finds me weird, "Okay Sir," he turned away, muttering confusedly. "But no one ever said no to meeting with Dr.Wang. No one..." the paid intern moved away from my desk.
Ugh! Is he...Wow.
What? Am I the weird one now because I refused to let myself be graced with Dr.Wang SengYou's presence? What?
No one refused to meet Dr.Wang...
Hah! Bunch of weak willed people. I can say no to Wang SengYou. Easy peasy.
So what if he looks delectable. What about it? I don't care if the doctor got a tall strong body that I want to climb on like a tree. Or if his eyes are like the deepest blue lagoon I want to swim in. Or if I am already imagining every flat surfaces available in this hospital where Wang SengYou can bend me down so he can fuck me excellently.
Nope. I can say no to the man.
I am not some weak willed sex starved fool who will run and come just because Dr.Dreamboat snapped his fingers.
Fuck him! Seriously.
Fuck this shit.
I am a busy person. Thanks to Wang Qing, I am loaded with work. I cannot believe I resigned my post in a famous NGO for this. To be stressed like this.
This is Wang Qing's fault. And Wang SengYou's fault.
This is basically a Wang's fault.
Not mine. So I won't feel guilty. Dr.SengYou can give me not too pleased look all day long and I won't fell guilt at all. He might look hurt but that was his brother's fault. Qing just dragged me into this.
So why are we avoiding the good doctor? My own mind conjured that question on it's own.
Shut up, Mind! Fuck this shit! Ugh!
...........................
(LIYAN)
"I have my period," I told Qing in an even tone while serving him his after lunch coffee.
Qing stopped signing some papers to look up and give me a confuse stare, "What should I say to that?" He asked uneasily.
"Congratulations," I replied, still in an even tone.
"Why?"
"Because I am not pregnant. When women got their period, it means they are not pregnant." I said to inform him.
Qing nodded, like he understand what I am saying. Kudos for him for understanding. Or pretending to understand what I am saying. I won't blame him if he is confuse.
I am confuse as well.
Qing put one elbow on top of his desk, twirling the pen on his hand. "Isn't it the norm for pregnant women to get congratulated? Why should I congratulate you for not being pregnant?"
"Because I don't really want to be pregnant." I retorted back. "Do you have any idea how stressful it will be for the two of us if I got pregnant?"
"The two of us? Why am I suddenly in the equation?" Qing sat straighter in sudden alertness. "I surely didn't get you pregnant. We are not sleeping together..."
"Yeah, but I work for you. You and I see each other everyday. If I get pregnant, and have my mood swings, you will experience them all with me. Plus, you will also have to find a temporary replacement for me once I took my two year maternity leave."
"Two years?!" Qing's eyes widened.
"Yup, two years. Fully paid. With bonuses." I nodded.
"Is that the company's policies for women on maternity leave? You can have a two year leave, fully paid with bonuses? Why am I not a woman and pregnant?" Qing looked truly puzzled.
Oh he is so adorable.
Qing narrowed his eyes on me, "You are lying to me. The company doesn't have that kind of policy."
"Yeah," I sighed. "But THAT should be the policy. Male CEOs' just have no idea how hard it is to be a woman and pregnant."
"And you know that how? You have never been pregnant before," Qing pointed out. "And while we are still in this topic, a quick question. Why are we talking about this topic?"
"Just because...," I pouted as I hugged the tray to my chest.
I cannot tell Qing the reason why I am glad that I had my period this morning.
I am already 30 years old. Experienced. Worldy. Sophisticated.
How can I confess to getting drunk and having unprotective sex with someone? That is not sophisticated at all. So not me.
But I did it. And for weeks, I had been so scared that I might be pregnant. But all of that vanished when my period came this morning.
And in my relief, I want to share the news of my period to Qing.
Really. He should feel blessed. And honored.
But Qing is stupid. And I am the bitch that is confusing the hell out of him.
That's okay. Qing will survive it.
Qing groaned though, like he is in pain. "Is this something we have to sit down together and tackle seriously? Because I can do that. We can do that." He put down his pen. "Let's do it."
Oh he is so sweet. Dayu is so lucky.
"No, I don't want to talk to you." I snorted at him. "I still hate you,"
Qing winced, "You don't want to talk to me? I see. Well, you should have done just that some five minutes ago when you suddenly announced that you have your period. I cannot believe I am saying that word in a female context. Period." He goes back to being baffled.
"I hate men in general now. You, your brother...that guy." I muttered in a heartfelt tone.
Qing nodded, "I understand. One quick question again. Who is "that guy"? Is it my brother?"
"No, it's the other guy." I said.
"Who?"
"You don't need to know!" I snarled at him.
The guy I am referring to is the guy I had drunk sex with. To be perfectly honest, I am the only drunk one that night. The guy is perfectly sober. I went to his apartment, the one I bribed people about to know and he helped me to sober up too.
But I still had sex with him. So...I guess that's that.
Qing's eyes widened again, "Then why mention him? Are you having mood swings now? Are you pregnant?"
I gasped, "Ugh! That's sexist and offensive. Don't associate mood swings for pregnancy! Sometimes, we have moods because we have our periods!"
Wang Qing is irritating.
Qing raised his arms and hands in the air, "I surrender. I'm sorry. In behalf of every men breathing right now. And my brother. And that guy, whoever the fuck he is. I am apologizing. Sorry for asking."
I feel my irritation waning a bit. "Thank you. For apologizing. Now give me a gift." I held my hand out to him.
Qing smiled, "Oh I have a gift for you. Dayu will be coming in later to have dinner with me. You will get to see him."
At the mention of Dayu's name, I felt happiness blooming in my chest. "Really? He is coming here? About time. Good job, Wang Qing." I gave him a thumbs up.
Qing nodded proudly. "I did, a good job. Right? So...am I forgiven?"
"Yes," I can be magnanimous. "Enjoy your coffee, it's getting cold." I flipped my hair as I turn to leave.
I heard Qing's polite little "thank you for the coffee" as I leave his office.
Qing is getting good at understanding women. Good for him.