(FENG MILEN)
I almost choked on my tea after I heard what the helper, who approached us while we are having our afternoon tea, said.
My husband, who is sitting beside me i our living room sofa, frown at the helper, "What do you mean Yu is asking helpers to take down his luggages?"
The helper winced uneasily at us. Clearly uncomfortable, "You asked us to tell you if Young Master Yu gives us strange order. Well, he just asked us to carry down his luggages from his room. In my humble opinion, Sir, I think the Young Master is thinking of taking a trip."
"A trip?" My father in law shook his head. "Yu never mentioned something about wanting to go on a trip," he looks at me. "Daughter, does my grandson finally expressed the desire to take a vacation away from Beijing?"
"No, Baba." I shook my head. "Yu had been busy writing. He also never mentioned to me any desire to go on a trip. ZhuTuan?"
"Neither on me. I thought Yu is taking his time to finish his novel before deciding what he wants to do next." My husband stood up. "Maybe I should check up on him," he said.
"I will come with you," I stood up as well.
"No need to check up on me," we all stopped when we heard Yu's voice on the living room threshold. I turned my head and saw my son standing there.
"Yu ah," I called his name in a faint tone. Then I smile. My son, he looks...normal again.
Gone are his dresses and headbands and clips. And the dainty slippers. The make up on his face are noticeable missing too. Instead, it looks like Yu only used his lip balm.
He is in button shirt and trousers again. On his feet, his favorite leather shoes.
The only trace of the woman inside my son are the quaint diamond earrings on his lobes.
My son...he is back to normal. I feel, so happy.
"Yu ah, are you going on a trip. Why did you asked the helper to carry down your luggages from your room?" ZhuTuan's question brought me to the present.
"Is it true, Yu ah?" I seconded my husband's questions. "You should have told me that you want to take a trip or vacation. I could accompany you. I think Singapore's weather is nice nowadays. Or maybe Dubai..."
"I am not going on a trip," Yu said before fully entering the living room. "I think we should sit down. I have something to say."
The happy feeling I have inside me slowly dwindled. "The last time you told us that you have something to say, it resulted to us meeting the Wangs." I felt distaste saying that family's name.
"Mama," Yu gave me an imploring look. "Sit down and hear me out." He went to a solo armchair to sit. ZhuTuan and I had no choice but to sit back on the long sofa.
Yu gave his grandfather a look first before turning back to us. "I am leaving. But not to take a vacation or a little trip. I finally made a decision." He paused to sigh and sit straighter. He looked us straight into our faces. "Qing and I decided to live together."
It took us some seconds to understand what he is talking about.
"Live together with..." ZhuTuan gave me a confuse look. He is probably feeling the same confusion that I am feeling. "But we thought you and that boy..."
"We didn't broke up." Yu confesses. That admission made me gasp and my father in law to scowl. "What kind of craziness is this now, Feng Jian Yu? I thought we are done with this business..."
"We are," Yu nodded. "We are done, Grampy. Because I finally made a decision. For a long time, I held on to the hope that you will see reason and accept my relationship with Qing. But after that humiliating scene in the convention, my eyes were finally opened, you won't like Qing for me. Much more accept him. And I understand that. So I made the decision to leave and be with him..."
"Yu ah!" ZhuTuan and I both exclaimed in worry.
My father in law has a different reaction. He got livid. "Do you really want to be disown?! Feng Jian Yu?"
"No," Yu replied, still in the calm tone. "Who wants to be disown by his family? I don't want that, Grampy. But I love Qing. As much as I love our family. I want to be with him. You won't accept him. What should I do?"
"You have done what you should do. You broke up with him! That is fine," I said.
Yu winced at me, "But I told you already, we didn't broke up. We took time to be apart, to do what we need to do. Qing had finished his work. This is mine. To tell you guys that I will be leaving our home to live with Qing."
"No! No! Yu ah!" I shook my head frantically. I moved forward, sitting almost on the edge of the sofa. "I won't accept this. You will not leave this home..."
Yu gave me a sad but determined look. "I will. I already packed my stuff. Unless you restrained me, I will leave today with Qing. He will pick me up. Six weeks had been enough. You all had me for six long weeks. I did what you all want. I tried spending as much time with all of you. I showed you who I really am. Six weeks are enough."
I felt shock at what he said. "You...stayed quietly in this house for six weeks because...you planned to leave us all along?" ZhuTuan asked our son in an amazed tone.
I don't blame my husband. What Yu is saying...it's out of the realm of my imagination. Yu is saying that he stayed in our home for six weeks, not going out, without contacting that Wang boy, because in the end, Yu is leaving us.
Yu nodded, "That's enough time for all of you to know me. The real me. And because you know me now, you must realize that you cannot stop me. No threat of disownment or disinheritance can stop me. I'm sorry, Grampy. I'm sorry Baba, Mama. I know you are all disappointed, I am apologizing for making you all feel like that. But I am not sorry for making decisions for myself. It's time that you all trust me to look after myself. I can take care of myself. It's time to let me go..."
I put a hand on my chest. I feel my heart constricting at every word Yu is uttering.
He is leaving. My son...is leaving us.
I was about to protest some more when another helper came inside the living room. "Sirs. Ma'am...we have visitors." The helper gave Yu an uneasy look. "They said that they are the Wangs."
"Oh my..." I found myself closing my eyes and leaning heavily on ZhuTuan upon hearing who our guests are.
The Wangs. They are finally here.
Oh my...
"MiLen," ZhuTuan supported me. I opened my eyes to gaze at him, "Can't we turn them away? I don't think I can face anyone right now..." I pleaded to my husband.
"No one is turning anyone away." Yu spoke as he stood up. "Qing is here for me. This is what we agreed upon. He is here to help me move out..."
"That is enough!" My father in law finally spoke up with authority. "No one is leaving my home..."
"I am leaving..." Yu said determinedly. Meeting his grandfather's eyes. "Now, seeing me again will depend on how gracious will you all be in my leaving. If you want this to be hostile, then so be it. We already had a scruffle in front of the whole world, I won't care to fight this out in private. But I am telling you all, I will be leaving this house, today."
Our shocked faces focused on my son. Yu is not playing around. He is determined to leave. Today. And Yu is willing to get ugly if we will stop him.
I don't worry about fighting against my son. I worry about entangling with that woman inside him. That person has a "take no prisoner" attitude. My son's other personality is dangerous.
"Yu ah," my husband tried for a diplomatic tone. "You cannot expect us to accept this decision of yours. You didn't give us any warning..."
Yu narrowed his eyes on us. "Why? If I gave you warnings will you let me go? If I give you time to adjust to the idea of me leaving, will you all send me off with smiles on your faces? You have proven to me, time and time again, that in this issue about my relationship with Qing, I cannot trust the three of you. You are against it. You all don't like it. I get it. Your opinions and feelings about the matter were noted. But still...this is my life. And I am ready to stand with my lover and trust myself to live without the safety net of our family..."
"Yu ah..." I am wrong. This may look like my son, but this is not my Yu at all. This is still the woman inside him talking.
Yu sighed, "Now, as I was saying, I will leave. But that doesn't mean that you will never see me again. I am your son and grandson. You are my family. I love you all. But if you will try to stop me or turn Qing away, then we might as well say our goodbyes now. If you cannot trust me and respect my decision then yes, I think being a part of this family is not for me."
"Feng Jian Yu!" I cannot help but exclaim his name. My son is telling us, in so many words, that if we will try to stop him, he will disappear from our lives.
"You don't mean that," My father in law called what my son said as a bluff.
"Then try, Grampy." Yu nodded to his grandfather. "Try stopping me and we will see..."
Silence reigned in our living room until Yu turned to the helper who is standing as a witness in our stand off with my son.
"Open the gates and invite my visitor in. Has my luggages been brought down from my room?" He asked the helper.
The helper nodded, "Yes, Young Master. Your things are waiting for you in the receiving area..."
"No! Yu ah...don't..." I moaned in despair. Yu turned to me. "Mama..." he moved to come close. He hugged me. "I love you. And I know how much you love me. But if I won't do this, we will just keep on hurting each other. Let me go. Just this once, trust me."
There is a pleading tone on my son's voice that made me sob in his arms as I hug him tight.
ZhuTuan sighed beside us. I held my son tighter. I don't want to let him go.
But we heard cars approaching our driveways. The Wangs are arriving.
"The nerve those Wangs has," my father in law grumbled. Yu sighed and let me go. "Grampy, Baba, Mama...if you cannot be civil to the Wangs, then you can all stay here and let me face them on my own. All I need to do is help Qing put my things on his car. You don't need to see them..."
"I am not a coward to hide from the Wangs in my own territory!" My father in law growled. Yu let out a resigned sigh again. "Then be civil. Or else I will be forced to show you defiance in front of a Wang. Please..."
My father in law's face turned stony. Yu put an arm around my shoulder, "Let me stay beside you throughout this ordeal, Mama. I am still here. Please, hear us out. Okay?" And he started walking with me to welcome our visitors.
I reached out to hold Yu other hand. I will not let my son go that easily. If that Wang Qing thinks that he can come here and take my son as easily as snapping his fingers, he can think again. He had to convince me first.
We got to the receiving area just as the Wangs are coming down on their cars.
I grew still when I saw Wang YanYi, Wang Qing's mother, standing in the driveway. Anger spread through my chest. Until the day I die, I will never forget the moment this woman slapped my son.
I will never forget and forgive that kind of transgression against Yu. I know, I once hurt my son too. I also hate myself. But this woman, she is easier to hate, because I also don't like her whole family.
When Wang Qing emerged from the driver seat of one of the cars, he strode confidently to the entrance of our home. Leading his family.
He stopped a few steps away from us. Then he bowed in respect. "Good afternoon, Sirs. Ma'am." He gave me a little nod.
I held my son's hand tighter. We didn't get to give back his greeting. How can you actually remain civil in front of your enemy? I cannot speak or move because I know what I want to do or say will just be a fuel to increase the coiling and choking tension inside the receiving area of our home.
Then Wang Qing's eyes found my son standing beside me. He smiled at our Yu.
Yu took his arm off my shoulders but with his hand still holding mine, my son stood between Wang Qing and our family. "Mama, Baba, Grampy...I want to introduce to you my boyfriend. This is Wang Qing." My son smiles at his lover. "Qing, this is my family."
Wang Qing nodded and held out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet all of you. I am Wang Qing, and I truly love your son. Please...let him be with me."
My free hand reached for my husband's hand. I cannot believe, that after all these time passed...we are back to square one.
Meeting our son's male lover.