(QING)
I held Dayu after that intense experience we had together. I hugged him tight until he calmed down. Then we moved silently to wash and change for bed.
Now, we lay amidst the darkness of the room, Dayu's head on my shoulder as I have one arm around his shoulder to keep him at my side.
We are both naked waist up. Dayu has his sleep short on while I still have my boxers on me. I usually sleep naked but we are not on that stage yet so...
Fat good our sleep wear do for us. I can feel Dayu's hard penis behind his thin sleep shorts while I am reciting chemical formulas in my head to ignore my throbbing erection.
Our state of arousal cannot he help. We just had a hot moment together and Dayu's first taste of what I can offer him if he will let me stay with him.
But I know what happened to us has two effects on our relationship. On one side, we feel closer as ever. More attracted to each other. More aware of each other's presence.
On the other hand, it showed the vast difference between us. Dayu is utterly inexperienced while I feel like the rakish scoundrel who is seducing the virginal hero to surrender his flower to me.
Fucking hell.
And I shouldn't think of that word right now. Fucking...
Fuck!
"Agh..." Dayu and I both sighed in the darkness. I felt him move to look up at me. "You cannot sleep too?" Dayu's voice sounded hoarser, scratchier.
"Yes," I reached upward with my other arm to click the sidetable lamp to life and give us a little light.
I turned my head to him and saw Dayu's round, too innocent eyes looking up at me. He smiled shyly. "Hi," he said.
I smiled back at him. "Hello."
We sighed together again and just stared at each other for minutes. Just lost in that silent moment.
Then Dayu spoke, "I don't know what to do. Or what to think about..."
"Then don't think of anything. And you are not required to move right now. Just keep still. It's okay," I passed a calming hand on his back. Dayu burrowed closer to me.
"But I cannot stop thinking about what happened. It was sort of intense, right?" Dayu sounded unsure.
"Yes it was," I agreed with him.
He gave me a relieved smile, "I was thinking..."
"I thought you don't know what to think about," I cut his words.
Dayu squint his eyes on me and poke my chest with the tip of his forefinger. I cannot help but feel amused at his indignation. "I was thinking, before you interrupted me, that I am too inexperienced for you." He said.
"Maybe." I said. And not surprised about how close our minds are about things to think about. Time and time again, Dayu and I are slowly proving to each other that we think the same about certain things and issues.
It's a comforting thought. To be in the same wavelength with someone. Makes you feel not entirely alone.
Dayu shook his head, "There is no maybe about it. You must have had lots of lovers before. While I..." he sighed and didn't finish what he was saying. He probably doesn't want to put more emphasized on his untried state.
"I didn't had lots of lovers. You can still count then in both hands. People I had sex with," I said.
"Less than ten?" Dayu frowned.
I started mentally recalling past people who I had sex with.
"Okay...maybe you can borrow my two hands as well while counting," I said.
"Aiyoo!" Dayu fisted a hand and threatened me with a smack. My chest rumbled as I chuckled at his reaction. "Whatever the number is Dayu ah, it doesn't matter, because I can say for sure that what I felt with you a while ago is something new for me as well. It's something I have never felt before."
"Really?" Dayu's eyes were round again.
I nodded, "It was beyond anything I felt before. I was surprised myself,"
"Why do you think that is?" Dayu wondered.
"I don't know," I smiled at him again before biting my lower lip. "Maybe because I am with someone special. Or what I feel for you is special. I am not sure as well. But I don't want to think too deeply about it as yet. I don't want to scare you. All I can say is? I am excited to find more. This thing between us, I want more." I said.
Dayu nodded, smiling too. "Me too. I want more. With you..."
Those last two words warmed my heart. Dayu said he wants more. I think he meant experience. But when he said "with you", it became exclusively about us.
Experience. He can get those with other people. Other men. But he said he wants it with me. And those two words made the world of difference for me.
It means Dayu wants me. Only me.
Dayu sighed again and look at me. "I was thinking. That thing...you said the other day. When we first kissed..."
"What thing?" I frowned.
Dayu winced as his cheeks grew some pink color again. "That thing...you said," he pointed a finger at me. "That..." he sighed, like he is frustrated at me because I kept on frowning at him. But I cannot help him because I cannot remember the thing he is talking about.
Dayu gave me more frustrated looks before he lifted a little to whisper in my ear. "The thing you said about...licking me all over..."there" also...before you, uhm...that..."
I finally understood. "Ah that!" I smiled widely at him. "Of course, I still want to do that. Lick you butthole and fuck you..."
Dayu put a hand on my mouth that stopped my laughter. His eyes sharpened until I behaved under him. He took his hand off my mouth. "Your mouth is trouble." He grumbled before going back to lying beside me and letting me hold him.
"You are the teacher who cursed like a drunk sailor when you are stressed," I reminded him.
"Yes. But I don't talk about wanting to lick people's asshole." He sneered at me.
"I only want to lick one asshole. Yours," I said in my defense.
Dayu growled at me. I just grinned at him. Then he turned anxious again, "Do you think I will be ready for that? Ever? Do you think I can reach that stage? Do you think I will get to trust you enough to let you...do that to me?" He has a lot of worries.
"I don't know too." I told him honestly. "But what I know is that I will be here. I will wait for you to be ready. And I will patiently court your body to be ready. Is that okay?"
Dayu's anxious looks faded a little and he managed a smile and a nod. "Yes. It's okay."
"Okay," I said back. "You want me to close the light now."
Dayu nodded and I flicked off the light. Darkness surrounds us again. We relaxed on the bed. Just when I thought Dayu is close to sleep, he spoke again.
"You are hard," he said, out of the blue.
"Uhum. But ignore it. You are hard too." I can feel him still hard penis against the side of my thigh.
"Yes. And I like it." Dayu let out a few giggles. "It's my first time, you know."
I frowned in the darkness, "Getting hard?" I find that hard to believe. What happened to Dayu's teenage years? When I was in my teenage years, I am in constant hard state. I masturbated a lot when I was younger. I even set a record for myself. Stupid that I was back then.
I felt Dayu nodding though, "It's my first time feeling this for another person. I never got hard for someone before." He confessed.
"Ah," I understand what he is saying. Dayu is saying that he was never allowed to be close to anyone long enough for him to desire them and then get hard.
He desires me though. He wants me.
Dayu sighed and hugged me tighter still, "I like the feeling." He uttered before yawning loudly. "I am sleepy," he rambled.
"Sleep, sweetheart. I am here," I said while securely held him in my arm. "Goodnight. Sweet dreams."
"Goodnight...Wang Qing." And those were Dayu's last words before he grew heavier. Slumping at my side. Soon, his breathing even out.
Dayu had finally fallen asleep.
In my arms. Where I want him to be.
What I want came true. I got to watch shadows play on Dayu's face as he sleeps beside me. For some minutes, I just stared at him and memorize the different features of his face. From his long nose to his rose colored lips to the little beauty mark under his left eye.
He is mesmerizing even in his sleep.
Feng Jian Yu.
Too innocent in some ways. Too scary on another. Dayu has so many facets in him, I will be occupied in a lifetime just learning all of them.
While Dayu also has some learnings to do. Tomorrow, I will give him some assignments. Things he needs to do so we can move forward into our relationship more comfortably.
But for now...
I gathered him in my arms and closed my eyes. Tonight, I will sleep with him beside me. Tomorrow, we will fly back to Beijing with me holding his hand as we sat together on the plane.
And then the rest of our lives will finally start there.
Dayu and I...us.