(DAYU)
I strode angrily to get in front of Wang Qing. "What are you doing here?" I snapped at him in a low tone because I am aware of the students now walking around the parking lot and looking interestedly at us. "Why did you come here?"
"You are not taking my call, that's why." Wang Qing said while taking his shades off. Then he smiled at me. The gall of the man. Is there a reason for him to smile? He is making a scene in my workplace!
"Go away," I ordered him while gritting my teeth together. "Don't make a scene here. I work here," I hate that my heart beats so fast right now. I am feeling to many thing. Scared, nervous...excited.
I don't know.
"You are the one making a scene," Wang Qing retorted calmly. He nodded at AhnZong, "Good afternoon," he greeted my friend.
"Good afternoon, Director Wang." AhnZong greeted him back. "Did you come here to collect the payment for your car repair? You should have called first."
"Jian Yu already reneged in paying the repair for my car. He refused to treat me to dinner," Wang Qing said.
AhnZong frowned at me, "Hey! He is only asking you to treat him to dinner? That is not expensive at all. You made a good bargain compared to paying the full cost of the car repair. What is wrong with you?"
The two of them are what is wrong with me! I should just tie them both together and throw them to Mars. Away from me.
"Stay out of this, AhnZong. Go on. You said you have laundry to do and a room to clean..." I pushed him away.
"Oh right!" AhnZong finally remembered. "I have to go. Hey, nice seeing you again, man. Take it easy on Yu. He is really clueless sometimes," AhnZong shook Wang Qing's hand before slapping my back and waving as he walked to his car.
Okay, one problematic person left. One more to go. And how dare AhnZong called me clueless. He is the clueless one. He doesn't know how weird Wang Qing is.
Asking me to date him. Weirdo.
I turned to Wang Qing who almost shoved a book in my face. I had to take a step back so it won't slap my face.
Wang Qing squinted his eyes on me, "You are strange. Telling me to lose your number yet leaving this book in my car. Tell me," he leaned his face closer to mine, "You left this on purpose, right? You bravely and confidenly walked out on me because you know I will look for you because of this book...."
"How dare you!" I snatched the book that Chef Tee signed and gave to me. "I didn't left this on purpose! And why come here? You could have just asked a courier to deliver it..."
"Because you are not taking my call," Wang Qing shrugged. He is infuriating.
"Because I don't want to talk to you. We have nothing more to talk about," I countered defiantly.
"Oh but we do. I was not done talking to you."
"Well, too bad because I am done with you. Get lost," I sneered at him before turning to walk away.
"Do you want me to shout what I want to say here?" He asked after me in a carrying tone.
My mouth fell open in shock. He...he is stressing me out.
I made an about face to walked back to him. "This is harassment, Mr.Wang!" I glared furiously at him.
Wang Qing winced, "I know. I'm sorry. But if you will hear me out, I promise this will be the last time I will pursue you. Please," he gave me a pleading look.
I sighed and look away so I can think. I still see students passing by and looking at us curiously.
"Fine!" I gave in. "Let's talk..."
"Where can we talk?" Wang Qing asked me.
Not here, that is for sure. "Follow my car. I know a place." I said before turning away from him and I walked to my car. Before getting in, I saw Wang Qing getting behind the wheel of his car.
One last time. Wang Qing swore this is the last time he will bother me. He better make true of his words or I will really start plotting to kill him using a crowbar and shovel for digging. Oh right, I already done that.
I got into my car and drove it out of the school's premises. I saw in my rearview mirror that Wang Qing's blue convetible is following me.
Thirty minutes later, I parked in an empty lot. A few meters away from a bookstore I loved to visit when I have time.
I looked at Wang Qing who parked in a space two cars away from me. "Follow me in that bookstore," I said before walking ahead of him.
I walked fast and briskly. The bell on the bookstore's door rang when I opened it and entered the establishment. I said a polite hello at the elderly woman on the counter.
I went to the back row of books. In this modern time that reading materials are now also available electronically and online, owning a bookstore is a dying industry. This one survives because the owner doesn't need the profit this place is making, if there is any. This bookstore is not the owners main source of income.
The back row of this bookstore is a place where almost no one visited. I know because the books lined on the shelves here are boring engineering stuffs and carpentry journals. Spent most of my time here when I was still in high school and college. I read here, made my assignments and to be alone.
This place is special to me.
And now, I have to talk sense to Wang Qing here.
"Interesting place," Wang Qing said.
"Whatever," I rolled my eyes before turning to him. "What do you want to say?"
"Date me," He said bluntly it pissed me off. "That again?" I frowned at him. "I told you, I don't want to date you..."
"Then tell me what can I do for you to go out with me," Wang Qing equipped. I stared at him in dumbfounded reaction for a moment, then I nodded. "Ah, I get it now. You are not use to people saying no to you. Why?" I gave him a mocking look. "You think you are too good looking to be rejected? You think you are too perfect to receieve no for an answer?"
"No," Wang Qing shook his head. "I just don't like to give up on things and people easily. And besides, you haven't let me do my presentation yet."
"Presentation?" I frowned at him. "What presentation? Like a thesis?"
"Sure," Wang Qing nodded. "Let me state my case to you. Present you my argument. Pitch in my idea. Until you heard all that I can offer, please don't say no yet."
He is something else. I sneered at him, "All that can you offer? What? Your big dick?" I look down at his groin area. Then I blanched and look up at him, "Okay, why did I said you have a big dick? How did I know that?"
Wang Qing chuckled, totally amused. "I don't know. Why are you asking me? You are the one thinking I have a big cock..." he shrugged at me. The smug bastard.
"Nevermind," I said because I don't want us to dwell on that issue. I will push aside the issue of his big dick and will think about it later...
Think about it later?! What? Ugh! I think my brain is starting to hurt.
I waved my hand to him, "Go on. Present your case or pitch in your idea...whatever. Just do what you have to do..."
Wang Qing smiled at me. "Date me and I will let you be whoever you want to be," he said.
I raised an eyebrow at that. "That's it? You will let me be who I want to be and then what?"
Wang Qing stared into my eyes, "Then you can stop feeling trapped. I will let you be whoever you want to be, Dayu ah. A girl. A boy. Anything in between. Carte blanche. As long as you choose me..."
What?!
I laughed at what he said.
.....................
(QING)
I threw out my last card and it looks like I will lose. As I watch and listen to Dayu laughing at my offer, I knew I lost him.
I knew he will not come to me.
I sighed. "I see that you find the idea laughable," I said.
Dayu tempered down his laughter to chuckling in amusement, "Because you are funny. What made you think I am not happy being me? Who said I am trapped?"
"You did...in that hotel..."
"I was drunk." Dayu's amusement fled, to be replaced by annoyance. "Can you please stop giving relevance to what I said while I was under the influence of alcohol that you supplied on me? I was drunk. I was not thinking straight. I don't know what happened or what I told you for you to act like you know me but FYi, Director Wang, you don't know me. So stop telling me who I am, what I am and what I should do. Can you?"
"Dayu ah...I'm sorry if you feel like that..."
"Good," he sighed. Dayu gave me a serious look. "I will say this. I am tired of people telling me what to do. My family is tiring enough. Don't mix yourself in my life, please. I don't need you in it. I am thankful to you about that night. I...experienced something I have never done before and I know I have you to thank about. Now, in terms of paying for the repair of you car, give me the receipt and I will pay the full cost. And then please...please...leave me alone. Stay away from me. I will not date you. I don't like you that way. I am quite happy with my life. Thank you very much,"
I stared at Dayu. He is telling me that he is happy with his life of obeying his family's wishes and he is not trapped.
He looked convinced about it too.
Dayu had lied about being happy for too long that he convinced even himself that he is really happy.
Or I am just the bitter person who cannot accept the fact that Dayu is happy and he doesn't need me in his life.
Either way, Dayu doesn't need me and he doesn't like me. So I guess...that's that.
I nodded. "I understand." I smiled at him. "I am glad to hear that you are happy. I'm sorry. I guessed I deluded myself into thinking you are a damsel in distress that needed saving..."
"I am no damsel or lady or girl or any variety of female species. I am a man. I like being a man. And I would appreciate it of you will stop thinking I need saving..." Dayu said with a stern look on his face. I can imagine that that is the expression he gave to his students when he is lecturing them for getting low scores on their quizzes because they were not listening to his lessons.
I nodded again, "Got it," I said. I stared at his face. Memorizing his lovely features. I think this is the last time I will gaze on his face this close.
I feel...regret. I regret that I won't be able to make him feel all the things I feel doing to him. That I couldn't let Dayu know how special he is to me. I regret the times that I could make him laugh and smile, times that will not happen and never will because Dayu doesn't need me. He wouldn't let me.
He doesn't like me.
I watched as my hand raised to touch his cheek. Dayu flinched a little at the contact so I kept it light and quick. "Goodluck then, Dayu ah. It has been a pleasure meeting you. Let's not meet again. I will lose your number,"
Dayu nodded, "Thank you. I wish I can tell that I had fun meeting you but you just turned weird in the end so..."
I stopped myself from laughing. Dayu is really funny. But instead of laughing, I just nod. "Goodluck to you. I wish you well...always. Goodbye,"
I turned away to leave him. I had my answer. Pushing for more will just make me a jerk.
I wish to leave Dayu a good impression on me. Someone who accompanied him one night to drink after we saw our exes together. And not someone who harassed him.
It's finally over now.
......................
(DAYU)
When I heard bell on the door chiming, I knew Wang Qing had finally left that bookstore.
That's the moment I let my tears fall. I finally did it. I finally took that last leap. I am now not just a liar but a bastard too.
A completely horrible person.
I laughed at him. At Wang Qing. At his offer. And lied to him about being happy with my life.
I am a bad person.
But I am not confident that I can take responsibility of Wang Qing. I can't even take care of myself. How can I take responsibility on his feelings too? I will just be a burden to him. I have too many things hiding inside me that Wang Qing will just find bothersome.
Besides, my family will never accept me in a same sex relationship. Me, dating a guy, will be the death of my grandfather. I don't want that in my conscience.
No. This is much better. It's better that meeting Wang Qing remained as a chance encounter with someone special. Someone who accepted me for me.
I want Wang Qing to remain a special memory in my head.
The first man I bravely kissed. The only man I kissed on the lips.
I close my eyes, leaned against the bookshelves and silently cry as I remember the most beautiful moment of my life.
Back in that hotel. On that bed. Lying beside Wang Qing.
I opened my eyes and almost screamed when I saw a sleeping man beside me. It took me a moment to remember who he is.
IronMan.
His lover cheated on him, with JaNa, my ex fiancee. We drunk tequila together and I got to know him a little. He is an amazing person. Accomplished at such a young age. Independent. Successful. Lucky.
He is so different. IronMan striked on his own while I work on the Academy my family own. IronMan controls his life while I let my family dictate how I will live mine.
He is amazing. IronMan. He is special while I am ordinary.
And he is sleeping on the same bed with me. We are in the same bed. The only difference is that IronMan is lying over the cover while I am under it.
I studied his face. His eyes closed. His breathing even. He is deeply asleep. His tall nose. His relaxed eyebrow. His ear. His cheeks. His strong chin and jawline.
His lips.
"My sleeping Prince Charming," I smiled. I love that story. Sleeping Beauty. But in my mind, I want the Princess to do the saving. I want to race up into a tower to find a sleeping Prince that I will kiss and will be mine.
"Can you be my Prince? Just for a while?" I asked my sleeping bedmate. Then I find myself leaning closer, "Just one kiss. I'm sorry. But stay still, okay?" I close my eyes and press my lips lightly against IronMan's lips. I let that kiss last in five counts before I ended it.
Then I leaned out and smiled at him. IronMan continued to sleep. Dead to the world. I closed my eyes with a smile on my lips.
I did it.
I finally kissed a boy.