Living In My Head (Drarry)

By deathbyinsomnia

227K 9.3K 6.3K

An AU story where all things began under different circumstances. There is no magic, no ministry, only The Ac... More

Chapter 0: Disclaimer/Author's Note
Chapter 1: Leaving the Dursleys
Chapter 2: 9 and 3-Quarters
Chapter 3: Piercing, Silver Eyes
Chapter 4: I'm A Klutz
Chapter 5: Late to Class
Chapter 6: Sold My Soul
Chapter 7: The (Almost) Fight
Chapter 8: Friend or Foe
Chapter 9: Dinner is Served
Chapter 10: Hard to Explain
Chapter 11: Here's the Truth (Part 1 of 2)
Chapter 12: Here's the Truth (Part 2 of 2)
Chapter 13: Bedridden and Alone
Chapter 15: Released From Prison
Chapter 16: An Ulterior Motive
Chapter 17: Hit and Miss
Chapter 18: Losing My Mind
Chapter 19: Skipping Astronomy Class
Chapter 20: A Generous Invitation
Chapter 21: A Big Decision
Chapter 22: Taking It Easy
Chapter 23: For the Asking
Chapter 24: The Falling Snow
Chapter 25: Making Proper Arrangements
Chapter 26: You're Hiding Something
Chapter 27: The "Shopping Spree"
Chapter 28: The First Goodnights
Chapter 29: O' Departed Joys
Chapter 30: Bring Your Worst
Chapter 31: Playing the Game
Chapter 32: Actions I Regret
Chapter 33: Recounting Old Memories
Chapter 34: I Can Imagine
Chapter 35: Skipping the Pleasantries
Chapter 36: For My Own
Chapter 37: A Modest Proposal
Chapter 38: The Morning After
Chapter 39: The First Date (Part 1 of 2)
Chapter 40: The First Date (Part 2 of 2)
Chapter 41: Draco's Weakened Defenses
Chapter 42: When Choosing Truths
Chapter 43: I Miss Him
Chapter 44: More than Comfort
Chapter 45: Mister Dorian Gray
Chapter 46: End of Chimes
Chapter 47: Waiting for Answers
Chapter 48: I'm Moving On
Chapter 49: Not Officially, No
Chapter 50: Something So Small
Chapter 51: The Night Bus
Chapter 52: The Freezing Chill
Chapter 53: Feeling So Helpless
Chapter 54: Forgiven, Not Forgotten
Chapter 55: The Photo Album
Chapter 56: Long Story, Short
Chapter 57: Weight of Gravity
Chapter 58: Dynamics in Misunderstanding
Chapter 59: Spoken Through Touch
Chapter 60: Sense of Intimacy
Valentine's Interlude
Chapter 61: Illusion of Perfection
Chapter 62: The Final Countdown
Chapter 63: A Phantom Limb
Chapter 64: Release Memory's Hold
Draco POV 1 (chap 62-64)
Author's Note
Chapter 65: Points of Interest
Chapter 66: Breathe, Little Deer
Chapter 67: Dealing with "Things"
Chapter 68: Dreams One Has
Chapter 69: All Doubts Aside
Draco POV 2 (chap 66-69)
Chapter 70: As Time Passes
Chapter 71: Out of Practice
Chapter 72: Griffindor Pride
Chapter 73: The Double Date
Chapter 74: Before the Storm
Chapter 75: The Yule Ball
Epilogue
The Complete Track List

Chapter 14: Only In Dreams

4K 172 216
By deathbyinsomnia

Chapter Song: Brighter Days by Leeland

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I wake up with a salty taste in my mouth from the tears. I let out a shaky breath and slip out of bed, heading towards the dorms, knowing for a fact that my bed is much more comfortable than the starched bedding. Slowly, I edge out towards the door and walk straight into Draco.

I let out a sharp hiss of pain and he whispers, startled, "Oh, Harry, you scared me."

I look up at him and I see his hand brush across my forehead.

I let out another hiss, "Wow, Harry, your head is bruised pretty badly."

I frown, taking his hand from my face, "I know that. Now."

He bites his lip, "Oh, sorry. What happened? I didn't see you around."

I start to correct him until I do the math, I passed out early Sunday, woke up around dinner, now it's early Monday.

Wait, why is he here on a school night?

"Why are you up so late?" I ask him, walking after him as he heads towards the dorm wing.

He shoves his hands in his pockets, frowning to himself, "No reason."

Suddenly, I laugh, "Were you worried?"

He shakes his head, "No. Definitely not."

I smile, "Thanks." He lets out a small, shy smile, "I'm glad you're okay."

Man, that's a nice smile.

It's so different.

I like it.

"You have a nice smile."

Oh, Christ, did I say that out LOUD?

"No homo." I blurt, inwardly face-palming, that phrase is the one thing that makes EVERYTHING sound gay.

He laughs, his smile growing.

Honestly, I really want to kiss him.

I don't care if that makes me gay.

I just want to be close to him.

"Thanks, Potter... I like yours too."

We share a small smile before saying our goodbyes and parting to our separate hallways. When I get to the dorm, I slink into the room and go to feed Castiel to find his food and water are full and the containers are cleaned. I notice Cas' food bag by Neville's nightstand. I make a mental note to thank him in the morning and slip into bed in the clothes from Saturday, not caring that I still have to change once the sun is up.

As I drift off to sleep, I wonder why Draco came to visit me, I wonder why the voices seem to stop when he's around, I wonder why I suddenly wanted to kiss him, and I wonder why- of all the people to feel attracted to- it had to be the one guy I can never have. When I close my eyes, I feel my face heat up as I imagine kissing him. Eventually, I manage to fall asleep.

...

~Monday- Day 7~

I wake up, much too early, to Neville shaking me awake.

"Come on, we'll be late for class!"

I realize that Draco smiling, leaning in to kiss me, was all a dream. I shoot out of bed, changing quickly, and running with Neville to class. We make it just in time and slip into our seats, Ron still at our group.

He gives me a dirty look, "Still gonna sit with me, even though I'm such an ass, Harry?"

I roll my eyes, "Go back to sleep, it's not like you pay attention anyway."

He puffs then lays his head down without comment.

Neville looks over at me worrily, waiting until Ron snores to talk.

"What happened?"

I lean back in my chair, "He was a jerk to 'Mione. She didn't deserve it."

He shook his head in dismay, "Harry, you're brave, but don't be stupid. Picking fights with the wrong person easily leads to being a bullying target."

I cross my arms, avoiding eye contact, "Is that what happened to you?"

He pauses as the teacher passes out papers, then speaks in a whisper when everyone starts on their work.

"Yes, actually, that is what happened. A friend of mine, Luna, was being picked on by Draco's brute friends and I confronted them. They called me a pussy and did a whole bunch of horrible things to me. Once they got their fill, they stopped, but I'm still on the social black list."

I wanted to apologize, but knew he didn't want me to be sorry for him.

"I understand. I'll pick my fights more wisely."

He smiles a bit, "You, me, and Hermione need to stick together. I think of you two as family, and family stands together."

I laugh a little, starting on the work, "Romance novel, much?"

He rolls his eyes, laughing, "Whatever. Anyway, you should meet Luna when she gets back from her trip. You guys would get along pretty well."

I work with him through the problems, taking a look at the clock every few minutes. If only time moved quickly in class.

Once class was over, we get up and scurry off to our next class. Snape greets me from where he's standing, outside the doorframe, and I say hello back. Neville goes off into a corner, sitting by himself, and I sit by 'Mione.

"Is that Luna's seat?" I ask curiously, gesturing towards where Neville's sitting.

"Yeah, he told you about her?"

I nod, and she smiles to herself, "He fancies her."

I furrow my eyebrows, "He what?"

She rolls her eyes, smiling at me, "He likes her, stupid."

I laugh, "Liking people makes you do stupid things, doesn't it?"

She shakes her head, "You have no idea."

Out of the corner of my eye, I glance towards Draco's empty seat as class starts.

Where is he?

His friends are gone too.

I sigh as Severus hands me my makeup work, which I was able to finish before the end of class.

Hermione places her hand on my shoulder, "Are you okay, Harry?"

I nod shakily, "I'll be fine."

I'll be alright.

Nothing is wrong.

Nothing is the matter with me.

I'm not crazy.

I'm not.

Liar.

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