Songs:
Addicted To You: Shakira
Stockholm Syndrome: One Direction
Perfect: One Direction
A.J.'s POV
Most of the day went by rather quickly, I gave up on hearing back from, Harry by noon. Chris, was still having a temper tantrum and Samara just wanted to lounge around. I had a brief thought that I should make more friends, then I quickly remembered, I didn't really like people. I barely put up with these two.
The next few days had gone by just as quick. I spent most of my time writing, taking a few calls from the company I was supposed to be learning how to manage and going for runs, lots and lots of runs. It was already Wednesday night and I hadn't heard from, Harry since he left my house on Saturday morning. I had the urge to at least text him a few times, but my subconscious stopped me, every time.
I wasn't tired yet, so I made myself some hot chocolate and grabbed my new copy of Anna Karenina. Well new to me. I got through the first two pages, when the doorbell rang. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost midnight. Who the hell was at the door at midnight. I was about to call, Chris to answer, then I remembered he was out, again. I was home alone, once more, I started to wonder what the point of roommates was, it was mostly because I needed them to keep me entertained.
I walked over to the door, swinging it open. There sitting on one of the steps was Harry. He had his back to me, but I could tell it was him by his broad shoulders and the long curly hair. "Harry?" I opened the door further, wrapping my long sweater around me, it was cold out.
He turned to face me with a lazy smile on his face. "Hello, A.J." He said, as he attempted to get up from where he was sitting,but stumbling. Was he drunk? And since when did he call me, A.J.?
"What are you doing here so late?" I asked.
"I needed to see you." He took a step forward, tripping on his own feet. He was drunk. I could probably blame his tripping on his clumsiness, but the smell of alcohol from on his breath was unmistakable.
"Why?" I spat back, I was irritated with his intoxicated state.
"Why are you upset?" His hand came up, rubbing his knuckles over my cheek. I pushed his hand away and stepped back, As much as I enjoyed his touch, I was still irritated.
"What do you want, Harry?"
"I already told you." He almost fell backwards, but I caught him by his arms.
"How much did you have to drink?" I asked, while I pulled him into the house. He mumbled something I couldn't understand.
I was able to drag him all the way to the kitchen, before he complained about having to walk so much. Not that he walked too far, besides, I had practically carried him most of the way. If anyone had the right to complain, it was me. I sat him at the small table near the window and got him a cup of water.
"Here," I handed him the glass of water. "Drink this."
He took it from my hand and took a large drink, finishing the water in one gulp. "There," He said, putting down the glass on the table. "Happy?" He asked, irritation laced in his voice. I was about to call him out on his audacity, but decided against it. It was useless to try to argue with a drunk person.
"No." I said, simply. "Give me your phone." I held out my hand.
"Why do you want it?" He asked, but handed it to me anyway.
I scrolled through his contacts, "To call someone to pick you up."
He snatched the phone from my hands quickly, for a drunk person. "I don't want to leave." He put his large, warm hands on my hips and pulled me between his legs. "Why don't you want me here?"
I looked into his green eyes, raking my fingers through his long curls. Of course I wanted him here, but not like this. "Because, you're drunk, Harry." I held my hands in place as I looked at him. I had no idea why I was touching him like this, if just seconds ago I was frustrated with him.
"I didn't want to come here." His confession stung a little.
"Than why would you come?" I asked, pulling my fingers from his hair and letting them fall to me sides.
"I couldn't help myself." He looked up at me, his hands ran up my sides. "I tried to stay away from you, but here I am." He gestured to the space around us. "I honestly don't know why I find myself wanting to be near you all the time. I'm not the relationship type, but I find myself... I don't know." He trailed off, his hands getting tighter around me.
I stayed quiet. I wasn't sure if I should keep this conversation going or not. I pulled his hands off of me, grabbing the glass before refilling it. I took it back to him, but this time I sat opposite of him, so there was an entire table between us. He drank his water, staring at me for what seemed like an eternity. His green eyes were burning a hole in me.
"I'm going back on tour tomorrow." He finally said.
"I know," I responded. "You should be getting rested and be ready for tomorrow, not here."
"How did you know?" He asked, his face scrunched together in confusion. "Never mind." His face relaxed. "You should come with me."
"I don't think so."
"Please?" He begged.
"No, Harry. Even if I wanted to, why would I?"
"To be with me."
"Why would I want to be with you?" I asked, a little too harshly than I intended. He clenched his jaw and balled his fists. "You just said, you wanted to stay away from me." I said a little more softly, careful not to anger him. I wasn't afraid of him, but I didn't want to see him that way.
"'Cause..." He looked away.
"'Cause what, Harry?" I asked, irritated again. This was pointless, he was drunk. I was arguing with a drunk person. "You don't do relationships you just said that, not that I was looking for one, but you're the one that pointed that out."
I grew frustrated. I stood up and got him some food, he needed to sober up. I placed the sandwich I made in front of him, demanding that he eat it. He obliged, not putting up too much of a fight. As I watched him eat, I nervously moved my ring around my finger.
When he finished eating, I dragged him to my bathroom. I turned on the shower, making sure it was cold. "Take a shower." I demanded.
"Are you going to join me?" He asked with a smug grin.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes and punch him as hard as I could, "I'm not the one that needs to get sober." I answered him.
He began to strip right in front of me, I quickly turned around and left him to shower. I sat on my bed, I should call someone to pick him up. But who? Before I could come up with anything solid, Harry came out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips, small droplets of water rolling off his body. How did he look so beautiful? I tried to remember I was upset, but it was becoming harder to concentrate while he paraded around in just a towel. Judging by his smirk, he knew his affect on me.
"I'm going to get you some of Chris' sweatpants." I got up, but was stopped by two hands on my waist.
"Can we talk now?" Harry asked in a low voice that sent a shiver down my back.
"About?" I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.
"Us."
"There isn't an us to talk about, Harry." I wiggled out from his hold, turning to face him.
"I want there to be." His eyes flickered between mine.
"Harry, I don't do relationships anymore. Besides you just said that you... ugh, you're so frustrating tonight." I groaned, not bothering to finish my thought.
"That's why I tried to stay away, but I don't know what it is about you, I can't seem to keep you off out of my mind." His hands reached up, grabbing my arms. "I wouldn't hurt you."
"Harry, we hardly know each other. I only met you not even two weeks ago." I reminded him. "You aren't one for relationships either, you said so yourself." I pointed out, again, recalling his statement that he made not too long ago as well as our conversation we had the first night he had stayed with me.
"If we don't know each other, why do you confide in me so much?" He spat back, a little harshly. He had a point, I didn't even know him and I had told him more than I had even told, Chris.
"Shut up, that's not the point." I rolled my eyes.
"Than let's just spend time together and see where we can go from there." He offered, trying to compromise.
"You'll be on tour." I reminded him, again.
"Come with me." He pleaded, his eyes dropping a little.
I shook my head. " I have a life, Harry. I have to work and do things. Besides, you'll be busy anyway."
He knew I was right. "The first six shows will be here in London so we can keep in touch during that time. Than, we can talk on the phone and text and video chat, until I get back."
As much as I tried to fight myself on this, I felt this need to be near, Harry. A need that was slowly driving me crazy. "Fine." I said in a low voice. There was no point in arguing, I would probably end up agreeing anyway.
As soon as the word left my mouth, his lips crushed mine, kissing me urgently. I felt my heart race and my breathing became uneven. His tongue swept along my lips, making me part my lips for him. He wasted no time slipping his tongue in my mouth, sliding it along my tongue, I responded in the same way. My hands came up, one hand cupping the nape of his neck, the other tangling in his hair. Moments later, we both reluctantly pulled apart, needing to come up for air. His forehead rested on mine as we both tried to even our breathing.
"Come on, let's get you to sleep, you need to rest." I reluctantly pulled out of his grasp, pulling him along across my bedroom. I gently pushed him on the bed, "I'll go get you those sweatpants." I said placing a small kiss on his forehead.
He held me in place with his hands on my hips, "I'm fine without them, thanks." He smiled widely.
I rolled my eyes and tried to push him away, "Well I'm not, let me go."
Ignoring me, he put his hand on my thighs, easily lifting my body onto his. I was straddling his lap, his face inches away from mine, all I wanted to do was kiss him. I quickly pushed those thoughts from my mind and rolled off of him. "Harry, get some sleep." I ordered. He threw himself on the bed, a smile plastered on his face. I groaned, he was absolutely adorable and sexy, too much for my own liking.
After struggling to get a very stubborn, Harry into the bed properly. I slid under the blankets next to him. He had refused to wear anything other than his boxers, so I didn't insist. I faced away from him, not wanting to be tempted by his green eyes and ridiculous smile and prominent dimples. He chuckled as I pretended to be asleep, I wondered if he had sobered up yet. His hand came up to rest on my hips, I could feel a gentle tug as he tried to pull me closer to him. I fought the urge to let him and shoved his hand away.
He let out a loud laugh that shook the entire bed, "Are you that mad at me?" I could hear his stupid grin that was most likely plastered on his face, showing off his dimples.
"Damn it, go to sleep, Harry." I yelled, draping the duvet over my head, trying to ignore him.
He pulled the duvet off my head, leaning closer to me, whispering in my ear, "I'm not tired."
His hot breath near my ear, sent shivers down my back. Why couldn't he just go to sleep? I quickly kicked the duvet and sheets off, spinning around, climbing on top of him. I straddled his hips, placing my hands over his chest. I stared at him for a second, my eyes flickering between his green eyes that were filled with surprise and amusement. My plan was to tell him off, and force him to behave. I had clearly not thought this through.
His torso lifted from the bed, his hands covering my cheeks as he crushed his lips to mine, flipping us over so he was on top of me. My mouth opened automatically for him, his tongue slipping though, urgently sliding across my own. My hands wasted no time finding their way up his body, my fingers tangling in his hair. His hips began to rock against me, he was already hard.
His hand moved from my face, between our bodies, slipping past the waistband of my shorts and panties. His fingers rubbed against my core in a delicious way, making my eyes flutter. I tried to speak, I needed him to stop, but words were failing me. My thoughts were interrupted by, his finger sliding into me.
I let out a sharp gasp at the unfamiliar sensation as he slid his finger in and out of me, sliding another into me. I gripped his wrist, trying to make him stop. "Harry, please." I begged, I wasn't sure if it was for him to stop, or for him not to.
"Shh, baby, let me make you feel good." He cooed in my ear. His pace increased, his fingers curling into me, swirling inside me. I felt something building in the pit of my stomach, I needed more of him.
Just as I had made up my mind to not fight him on this, his delicious assault came to an end, his fingers were pulled from me. Before I could protest, his fingers hooked onto the waistband of my shorts. "Harry, I can't." I put my hands over his to stop him. He looked at me puzzled. "I'm a virgin." I admitted, my face suddenly feeling hot.
His eyes went wide, in shock, or horror. I couldn't tell which. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, not giving any indication of what he was feeling.
"I just did." I pointed out. "Are you mad?" I finally asked, frustrated for not being able to decipher his expression.
He shook his head, "No, just, I thought you had already... You know?"
"Why?" I asked.
"You said you've had a boyfriend before."
"Doesn't mean I slept with him." I didn't know if I should laugh or feel offended.
"Most people would have." He sounded serious and confused.
"I'm not most people." I sat up, pushing him back slightly so we had room to talk.
"Are you like, saving yourself for marriage or something?" He asked, I spotted him eyeing the ring on my index finger that I had mindlessly started twirling.
"This isn't a promise ring." I assured him, which he needed judging my the way his shoulders dropped. "I am not saving myself for marriage," His entire body seemed more relaxed now. "Or the right one, actually I don't know why I've never had sex." Actually it had just became quite clear. No one, not even my ex-boyfriend had ever made me feel the way, Harry has. Harry could ignite me with just a single glance. "I guess I've never been with someone who sparked an interest." I admitted.
"So, I spark interest?" He grinned, I just nodded. "Has anyone ever did what I just did to you?" He asked.
"No." I admitted, I had never gotten passed making out. He smiled widely and I shook my head.
"Do you want to?" He asked.
"Do I want to, what?" What the hell was he talking about now?
"Have sex," He ran his fingers through his long hair, biting his bottom lip. "With me, I mean."
"Well when you do things like that." I joked wiggling my eyebrows playfully.
He chuckled lightly, taking my face in his hands, planting soft kisses on my lips. There was nothing heated or rushed about the kisses he was giving me, but the thought of being with him in such away, set me on fire, giving my a sudden boost of bravery. I let my hands travel down his chest, one hand resting on his hips, while the other slid further down his body until it reached it's intended destination. My hand rubbed the prominent bulge that had formed in his boxers, causing a moan to escape his lips. It was my turn to tease him a bit. I felt my hands a bit shaky, but I tried to concentrate on the task at hand instead. I slid my hand down his length, my eyes widening as I realized how big he was.
Before I could gather myself, my shirt was being lifted off my body, and tossed somewhere on the ground. My hands flew across my chest when I realized I didn't have a bra on. Harry smiled, slowly pulling my arms away from my body, laying me back onto the bed, his lips meeting mine. My breathing began to get quicker as his lips traveled from my lips to my neck, getting further down my body. His hand rubbed up my side, tickling me slightly as his hand cupped my left breast, massaging it in his hand. His hot lips were trailing kisses on my other breast, until he took the bud into his mouth, sucking on it gently at first, his need becoming more urgent as he began to suck harder.
I balled my hands into in his hair, needing to feel him closer, my hips lifting off the bed to connect with his. He pulled away from me, his body sliding further down the bed as he sat up on his knees watching me as his hands trailed down my body until he reached my shorts. His fingers hooked onto the waistband, pulling both the shorts and my panties down my legs at the same time, tossing them in the same direction as my shirt. I laid there completely exposed to him, I was about to use my arms to cover myself, but before I could, Harry's hands came up to meet mine, pinning them over my head.
"You look beautiful," He whispered before placing a line of kisses going from my ear to the base of my neck.
His lips left my body, leaving an ache at the loss on my skin. I was about to complain, until I noticed what he was doing. In a swift movement he was off the bed, pushing his boxers from his hips to the ground. My eyes went wide as I took in his length, it was bigger than I had imagined just minutes ago. I forced my eyes away from that area, but the rest of him was no better, every inch of him was intoxicating. My inspection of him came to a halt when my eyes met his, they were dark, which for some reason caused me to smile.
"Where are my clothes?" He asked.
"Bathroom." I answered, simply, not trusting my own voice.
With that he was gone in the direction of my bathroom. "Harry, what are you doing?" Since he left, I covered myself up, there was no need to be this exposed.
Moments later, he was back wiggling a foil package between his index finger and his thumb, "Condom." He said, pulling back the comforter and sheets I had just covered myself with.
I just nodded, not knowing what else to say. Of course he'd be prepared. My breathing became uneven and shaky as he spread my thighs, positioning himself between them. Part of me was screaming at me to stop all this, we weren't even together. The other, more dominant part of me quickly took over as I watched, Harry rip open the foil packet with his teeth before he slid the condom over his length. My breath hitched as my eyes met his yet again. His head lowered to my body, never taking his eyes off mine as he placed soft kisses up my body. He reached my tattoo, kissing over it where my scar laid underneath, unable to watch I lifted my head up concentrating on the ceiling. His lips were off me in an instant as a hand came up to my face, pulling me back down to face him.
His lips attached to mine, I felt him pressed against my entrance. I moaned against his lips, screwing my eyes shut as he pushed himself into me. I squeezed his arms as his length stretched me, "Harry." I moaned.
"Fuck, you're so tight." He whispered, sucking in a sharp breath.
He stilled letting me adjust to his length inside me, his left hand wrapping around my torso pushing me closer to him, while his right hand rested at the nape of my neck as his lips crashed into mine. His tongue swiped along my lower lip, I parted my lips slightly, Harry wasted no time pushing his tongue into my mouth. My hands slid up his perfectly toned arms into his hair, my fingers tangling themselves into his long curls. His hips began to speed up, crashing into me harder. I tugged on his hair, parting my lips from his, needing to breath, I tilted my head back, his lips wasted on time pressing themselves onto my neck, sucking lightly at first.
I felt my legs starting to tremble, my breathing quickened as I dug my fingers into, Harry's back. "Let go baby." He whispered into my ear. Just as his words left his lips, I became undone underneath him, but his hips never stopped rocking into me, quickening his pace until he stilled, letting out a staggered breath before collapsing on top of me.
His weight on me didn't feel uncomfortable, it felt natural having him there, his breathing in sync with mine. I let my hands roam his body for awhile, until my left hand settled for making small patterns on his back and the fingers on my right hand raked through his hair softly until our breathing had evened out.
When we had both come down from our high, he pulled himself out of me, making me wince. "Did I hurt you?" He asked as he rolled onto the bed, rolling off the condom before tossing it into the waste basket next to my bed.
"No," I lied, sort of. I was in pain , but it was slowly turning into a needy pain, I needed him again. "I should go take a shower." I informed him as sat up, a little too quickly. I winced a little as I stood up.
"I'll join you." He stood up, following me. I thought about saying no, but I didn't have the strength to argue with him.
After we showered and had changed the sheets, we laid together in my bed. Before I could finish my internal debate of how to handle this situation, Harry pulled me into his chest and body. His well toned arms wrapping around my torso, crushing me into him. Part of me wanted to shove him away so I could breath properly, but like before, the more dominant part of me, won. I enjoyed having, Harry this close. I placed small kisses on his sparrow tattoos before resting my head on his chest, my arms wrapping around him as sleep took over my body.
It took me a minute to realize where I was. I was in my room, but something was missing. I sat up and looked around at my empty room, the comforter sliding off my body. I was naked. Memories of the night before came flooding back, I had slept with Harry last night. Harry. I looked at my empty bed around me, I was in the middle of the bed, but I could see the dip in the other pillow where he had fallen asleep, he had left. That's what was missing.
I was disappointed by the fact that he was gone, but my subconscious was quick to remind me, that there was no other way that would have worked out. Of course he wouldn't be here when I woke up. Maybe he had to leave early for his show? I tried to argue with my subconscious. Or maybe he got what he wanted and left, she spat back.
All the back and forth in my head was giving me a headache, I needed to clear my head. I jumped out of bed, regretting my fast movements instantly as I felt the reminder of last night between my legs. This was going to be a long day. I quickly got dressed in some sweatpants and t-shirt over my panties and sports bra. I needed to go for a run before I went even more insane. I laced up my shoes and headed for the door with my sweater and hair tie in hand. As I was about to make my way out, I heard a loud crash coming from what sounded like the kitchen.
I made my way to the kitchen, expecting to find Chris and a destroyed kitchen. Instead I found the last person I had expected to see, "Harry?" I called out in confusion, my eyebrows knitted together as I took in the scene. He was in nothing but his boxers and an apron, pans scattered on the island and food on the counter. "What are you doing?" I asked suppressing my laugh.
"Where are you going?" He asked, ignoring my question.
"For a run."
"But, I'm making us breakfast." He frowned. "You weren't supposed to wake up yet."
"I thought you had left." I admitted. He was still here, I gloated to my subconscious. He was still here and attempting to make breakfast. He hadn't just left.
"You thought I would leave just like that? Without saying goodbye?" He asked, hurt laced in his voice, his frown deepening.
"I didn't know what to think, Harry." I answered honestly.
He walked over to my, his arms landing on my hips as he pulled me into him the rest of the way. His lips were immediately on mine, kissing me just as urgently as he had the night before in my bed. I kissed him back, not even trying to fight it anymore.
His lips pulled away from mine, I suppressed my urge to whimper at the loss of contact from his lips to mine. "I wouldn't have done that, Katarina." There he was calling me, Katarina again. Although I didn't mind it coming from him, I idly wondered why he had called me, A.J. last night. "If I really had to leave, I would have woken you up or left you a note at least." He added.
"Why did you call me, A.J. last night?" I asked, completely changing the subject.
"What?" He asked confused, about my sudden question.
"You always call me, Katarina." I pointed out, making a face as I said my own name. "But, last night," I continued. "Last night you didn't. Last night you called me, A.J.. Why?" I pulled away from him slightly so I could get a better look at him.
His green eyes looked dark as though he had remembered, "A.J. seemed more formal I guess. I came with a purpose to stay away from you and I knew if I called you, Katarina, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. But, that clearly didn't work." He smiled lightly. "So you were planning to run in late September in that?' He pointed to the clothes I was wearing. I had on a thin pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Maybe not my brightest of plans.
"I have a sweater." I defended myself. "Besides, I'd get hot eventually."
"Do you run everyday?"
"Mostly every morning, twice this past week."
"Twice?" His eyes widened.
"I had a lot on my mind." I said, frowning. He was what was on my mind. "I can't play any sports here and the only two friends I have here won't get in the ring with me, so I'm left with running."
"In the ring? Like boxing? You box?" He asked, surprised.
"Yes, I box, play baseball, football, soccer and basketball."
"So you're athletic?'
"No. Well, I suppose, but I started sports with my brother and when he passed away, it was the only way I still felt connected to him without having my mom hovering around me. So, when I am frustrated I do something like running and I think what advice my brother would give me if he were here."
"When did you have time to do all these things?' He asked, staring at me with his green eyes.
"I graduated high school when I was ten." I admitted. "I was bored so I took up sports and hobbies and took college classes and anyway."
"Wait, what?" He asked in disbelief.
"You heard me." I pushed his chest. "I find it very hard to stop talking around you."
I walked passed him to the mess that he had created with the pans and food. "Let's make breakfast, you probably need to get going soon." I cleaned up most of the kitchen, leaving out only what we would need.
Making breakfast was somewhat of a challenge, Harry was very flirty wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my neck softly. He suggested a repeat of the night before, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle it, he had to go soon and I wouldn't see him for another six weeks, even though we had planned on seeing each other during the first week, he would still be busy. After struggling to get around the kitchen, I finally managed to get, Harry to go get dressed while I finished cooking.
When he returned, he had been dressed in the same clothes as the night before, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, revealing his tattooed chest, his hair pulled back into a bun at the back of his head. Is there any look he couldn't pull off?
Most of breakfast was spent talking about one another, he tried to get more information out of me, but I insisted that he already knew more about me than I about him. He offered some details about his personal life, with his family and friends. His likes and dislikes and I quickly realized how he acted as though her was a small child. I laughed at the stories he told about his sister. Now that I was here with him, just talking, I was glad that I had agreed to keep in touch while he was out on tour. Talking to him was effortless, I didn't have to think about what to say and what to keep to myself. It bothered me in away, being so open with him when I had been so closed off with everyone else, including my family and two best friends.
As I shut the door behind him, as he made his way out of my driveway, I couldn't help but feel sad. But, why? I had just met, Harry, not too long ago. He was virtually a stranger, a stranger that I had just had sex with, but a stranger none the less, yet, I felt this magnetic pull towards him. No matter how much I tried to fight it, I always found myself thinking about him or wanting to be near him. Now, I was forced to spend several weeks without seeing him at all. Maybe this would give me time to get my head on right and stop thinking about him. I had gone this long with my anonymous existence, why was I going to ruin that over someone I had just met?
No, I wasn't. We could remain friends, but that was it. Besides, I didn't want a relationship, not with him, not with anyone. I was tired of letting people in, just to have them taken away from me. The only person that was in my life was, Chris, but even that was going down hill. I didn't count, Samara, she was like my sister, I had known her for too long to let anything come between us.
But, the more I thought about it, the harder I found it to stay away from, Harry. It was easy to be around him, and I had just promised him to keep in contact while he was on tour. I had six weeks, in those six weeks I would get to know, Harry a little bit more, even if it was by texts and a few phone calls. Six weeks to figure out what I wanted out of all of this.