Living In My Head (Drarry)

By deathbyinsomnia

227K 9.3K 6.3K

An AU story where all things began under different circumstances. There is no magic, no ministry, only The Ac... More

Chapter 0: Disclaimer/Author's Note
Chapter 1: Leaving the Dursleys
Chapter 2: 9 and 3-Quarters
Chapter 3: Piercing, Silver Eyes
Chapter 4: I'm A Klutz
Chapter 5: Late to Class
Chapter 6: Sold My Soul
Chapter 7: The (Almost) Fight
Chapter 8: Friend or Foe
Chapter 9: Dinner is Served
Chapter 10: Hard to Explain
Chapter 11: Here's the Truth (Part 1 of 2)
Chapter 12: Here's the Truth (Part 2 of 2)
Chapter 13: Bedridden and Alone
Chapter 14: Only In Dreams
Chapter 15: Released From Prison
Chapter 16: An Ulterior Motive
Chapter 17: Hit and Miss
Chapter 18: Losing My Mind
Chapter 19: Skipping Astronomy Class
Chapter 20: A Generous Invitation
Chapter 21: A Big Decision
Chapter 22: Taking It Easy
Chapter 23: For the Asking
Chapter 24: The Falling Snow
Chapter 25: Making Proper Arrangements
Chapter 26: You're Hiding Something
Chapter 27: The "Shopping Spree"
Chapter 28: The First Goodnights
Chapter 29: O' Departed Joys
Chapter 30: Bring Your Worst
Chapter 31: Playing the Game
Chapter 32: Actions I Regret
Chapter 33: Recounting Old Memories
Chapter 34: I Can Imagine
Chapter 35: Skipping the Pleasantries
Chapter 36: For My Own
Chapter 37: A Modest Proposal
Chapter 38: The Morning After
Chapter 39: The First Date (Part 1 of 2)
Chapter 40: The First Date (Part 2 of 2)
Chapter 41: Draco's Weakened Defenses
Chapter 42: When Choosing Truths
Chapter 43: I Miss Him
Chapter 44: More than Comfort
Chapter 45: Mister Dorian Gray
Chapter 46: End of Chimes
Chapter 47: Waiting for Answers
Chapter 48: I'm Moving On
Chapter 49: Not Officially, No
Chapter 50: Something So Small
Chapter 51: The Night Bus
Chapter 52: The Freezing Chill
Chapter 53: Feeling So Helpless
Chapter 54: Forgiven, Not Forgotten
Chapter 55: The Photo Album
Chapter 57: Weight of Gravity
Chapter 58: Dynamics in Misunderstanding
Chapter 59: Spoken Through Touch
Chapter 60: Sense of Intimacy
Valentine's Interlude
Chapter 61: Illusion of Perfection
Chapter 62: The Final Countdown
Chapter 63: A Phantom Limb
Chapter 64: Release Memory's Hold
Draco POV 1 (chap 62-64)
Author's Note
Chapter 65: Points of Interest
Chapter 66: Breathe, Little Deer
Chapter 67: Dealing with "Things"
Chapter 68: Dreams One Has
Chapter 69: All Doubts Aside
Draco POV 2 (chap 66-69)
Chapter 70: As Time Passes
Chapter 71: Out of Practice
Chapter 72: Griffindor Pride
Chapter 73: The Double Date
Chapter 74: Before the Storm
Chapter 75: The Yule Ball
Epilogue
The Complete Track List

Chapter 56: Long Story, Short

1.5K 76 7
By deathbyinsomnia

A.N.
Chapter song: Elegy op. 24 (composed by Gabriel Faure)

As I watch Dobby, his steps slow as he sweeps into a dustpan. I let my eyes travel over his hands, then to his expression, lost in thought.

"What happened to Draco? He looked really sick for a while there, in the album." My question makes his expression darken, his back turning rigid.

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

"It's also not my place to tell," Dobby clarifies.

I sigh, nodding, "Right." I nod, my voice tinged with bitterness. "Anyhow, I'm going upstairs to read, if you want to join me."

Dobby heard the invitation in my tone, "I'll be up soon. I need to prepare the house for the next party."

Leaving him alone, I retrieved the book from upstairs and laid across the couch comfortably. Narcissa walked through the front door, closing the door behind her, and turning to face me, her eyes blown wide with shock when she saw me.

"Oh, Harry. You... startled me."

"I was just reading, Lady Narcissa." I tell her, smiling a little in amusement as she grins over the nickname.

"Lady Narcissa? Am I of pure, royal blood, now?" her tone teasing, putting a lock of hair behind her ear as she retrieves a bag from the kitchen.

"Well, you do live in a castle."

"It's a manor, Harry, not a castle."

She knew I was trying to goad conversation out of her, but she didn't seem to mind.

"A castle of sorts, then," I correct myself, "a castle relative to houses."

She nodded, her smile fading, "I left my bag behind, I didn't think you were still here. I had assumed you left because of how Draco had been acting."

"How had he been acting?" I asked, curious.

"Like he'd been dumped," she answered honestly. "I'd only seen him act like that one other time, though it was a different story." I was going to ask why, but her expression betrayed a look of shame, like she'd said too much. "I have to go back to work. Tell Draco that if he wants to, he can take his bike and you two can go drive to town for the night. I know he's dying to get out of this house, Harry. He feels caged here. Please show him a good time, I'm counting on you."

She waved over her shoulder as she stepped out the door, giving me a sense of peace. Narcissa may not be the best mom in the world; she's passive, distant, and submissive- but she genuinely wants the best for Draco, even if she is too scared to do it herself. For that, I can commend her.

Returning to the book, the story takes a turn. It is no longer about the war of an endless dictatorship, no longer about the death of thousands, it became about the love between two refugees. The love between them could end the war, it could end the war in fire, or in peace. The story is pessimistic, the world around the young couple divided in every way, so they grew apart.

I'm not liking this story...

...

Draco returned home soon after I finished reading the book. My eyes were tired, and my mind was weary from the story's ending. Once he stepped through the door I found myself reaching for him, needing him.

Dobby, having left back for the basement once I was too into the book to read to him anymore, was nowhere to be seen. Draco seemed worn out but smiled when he saw me, hugging me close. I repeated his mother's message to him.

"Once we drive down there, we wouldn't have very long to look around before things get too dark."

I nodded in understanding, "We could take a walk."

Smiling, he took my hand and lead me to the hall closet. "It may not be super cold during the daytime but you'll need these at night, trust me."

He helped me put on a plump winter coat, a woolen scarf, and gloves. He put on the same, but all a bit larger and in green while mine were a mix of colors. We walked out onto the deck and down the stairs, making our way through the dusting of snow, towards the lakeside.

"Draco, I thought we were going to take a walk?"

"I want to show you something first." The words seemed hollow, faded, and I wondered what he possibly could have wanted to show me. The walk was slow, the grass crunching beneath our shoes. When we got closer, I realized that we were going to a graveyard.

He opened the metal gate with twitching fingers, having taken his gloves off to better unlock the picketed fencing. The door squeaked open, falling inward due to elevation, and he lead me inside.

I see names: Black, Lupin, Malfoy, Lestrange, all these names... and something feels wrong about it. "Draco, why did you bring me here?"

"The doctor said I cracked ribs, meaning no bad fractures or breaks, but all-in-all, I'll be right as rain in a few weeks."

"You're avoiding the question." I press, my hand squeezing his to make him look at me.

"He could've done much worse, Harry. I could've been seriously injured."

"Draco, what are you getting at?"

"What I said, about 'your honor', I'd meant that my father questioned your motives for staying by my side. He thinks you may be involved with me to become allies with a rich, powerful, and influential family." I was about to defend myself but he shook his head, "Don't bother, I know that isn't the reason. I just, I want you to know what you're getting into. I don't want you to have any regrets."

"Regrets? Like what?" I asked.

His eyes turned glassy, "I'm more than a little broken, Harry. Not just because I'm bruised up. I have baggage, damage, I could never ask you to accept-"

"I understand more than you think I do," I offered, touching the top of an unmarked headstone. "I'm a big boy, Draco."

"If you insist," Draco teased weakly, "Come on, let's go out for that walk."

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