I aggressively fling the toilet lid seat open for the fifth time this morning and vomit into it, gripping onto the sides for my life. I begin to choke and struggle to breathe, my stomach rolling up into itself.
I back away from the toilet, thinking that I'm done, but then I feel it coming up again. I tuck my hair behind my ears so that it doesn't get vomit on it. I then proceed to throw up again, but this time I feel a hand on my back and my hair being lifted up.
After I'm done, I shut it and flush the toilet, then wipe my mouth.
"Why are you throwing up?" Kurt asks, still waking up himself.
I feel bad because I probably woke him up. "Sorry if I was really loud."
He chuckles. "Don't apologize. It's time for me to wake up anyway. My flight is in a couple hours."
That only makes matters worse. I thought that my stomach couldn't hurt any worse, but I proved myself wrong. Now I have to be left alone sick.
I stand up and walk past Kurt, tying my hair with a ponytail and washing my face with cold water, attempting to wake myself up.
"I've been awake for the past hour," I explain to Kurt. "I'm surprised you haven't woken up. I've thrown up about five times."
"Now you know how I feel," He leans forward into the mirror and grabs his toothbrush, then begins to brush his teeth.
He's right. Now I do know how he feels. He throws up almost every single day because of his stomach and there's nothing he can do about it.
"But you're used to it so it's not as bad as me when I throw up because I don't throw up a lot," I inform him. "I'm not saying you don't go through anything, though."
"Yeah," He spits into the sink and then brushes again. "Are you okay though? What's going on?"
"I have no idea," I honestly say and brush my teeth, too, trying to get that taste out of my mouth. "I just threw up this morning."
"That's how Courtney acted when she was pregnant," He spits into the sink once more and rinses off his toothbrush.
"I'm not pregnant, Kurt."
"How do you know? We just had sex--"
"Because I'm on my period," I chuckle. "Last time I checked you can't be on your period and be pregnant at the same time. I'm just sick."
He sighs out of relief. "I'm relieved."
I roll my eyes and rinse off my toothbrush and then put my hair up into a bun and look at Kurt. "I don't want you to go, especially when I'm sick."
"I'm sorry," He says. "I'll call Krist right now and let him know that you can't drop me off so he should come and get me."
He walks back into the bedroom, leaving me alone to sulk in the bathroom. I wanted to go with Kurt to drop him off at the airport to spend more time with him. I'm not going to be able to see him for a while, so I wanted to drop him off to get those last moments with each other.
Of course I had to get sick around this time. I wouldn't have minded being sick while Kurt was gone, but with my luck, there's no wonder that it happened right before he had to leave.
I begin to feel light-headed, so I go as quickly over to the bed as I can and bury myself under the covers, a cold flash coming over me. I bundle myself and shut my eyes, a stinging sensation coming onto my eyes.
I groan. I hate being sick. I rarely get sick, so when I do, it gets really bad all at once. My body gets rid of everything toxic in my body all at one time and it doesn't work well with me.
"Yeah, she's laying down next to me right now," Kurt says. Then, something freezing touches my forehead, so I gasp and back away from him. "Jesus fucking Christ, K. You're burning up!"
"Why the hell would you do that?!" I whine. "Is your hand that cold?"
He touches his hand to his cheek. "K, my hand isn't even that cold. Krist, her forehead is really hot." He pauses and then looks at me with worry. "Should we still go if she's like this?"
I close my eyes once more. I don't like how he's treating this. He always makes things into a much bigger deal than what they already are. Just because I'm sick doesn't mean that he has to cancel his shows.
"I'm fine," I mutter a complete lie to satisfy Kurt.
"Alright, bye," Kurt hangs up the phone. "Shelli's going to come over and watch over you until your better just in case anything happens."
"Kurt," I groan. "I don't want anyone here right now besides you. She's going to want to talk to me the whole time and I'm going to get pissed with her."
"Then just ignore her and act like you're sleeping the whole time," He suggests, but he still seems worried about me. "Are you alright, Kaitlyn? Do you need me to stay back with you?"
As much as I don't want him to leave and I want to say yes, I know that that's not fair to him or his fans. I can't hold him back from doing what he needs to do. And right now, he needs to do his job.
I shake my head, feeling more and more lightheaded by the minute. "Kurt, do we have any water? I feel like I'm going to pass out."
"Well that's probably what it is," He rushes over to my nightstand and grabs a glass of water, then props me up to help me drink it. "You're probably dehydrated."
He presses the cup to my lips and helps tilt my head back to help me drink it. He then sets it back down and helps move me to where I'm laying. He drapes a blanket over me, but it's not heavy, causing me to be really cold.
I reach for a heavier blanket, but he swipes my hand away.
"Kurt," I whine. "I'm cold."
"Well your body feels warm."
I huff and lay down on my side. "Kurt, I'm really upset I can't drive you anymore."
The bed beside me sinks deeper and his arm wraps around my waist, pulling me into him. "Before you say anything, no I don't care if I get sick. I already feel like shit enough as it is."
I allow myself to sink into him. "I don't want you to leave."
"I know, I know."
We allow ourselves to absorb one another on a level that allows us to be comfortable with each other even though one of us is sick. That's something that many couples aren't able to do, but mine's and Kurt's situation is very different.
Kurt is going to be gone for months, wheras normal couples are only away from each other for about seven hours a day to go to work, but then they come back to each other. Kurt and I, we don't get to have that luxury.
Everything feels right when I'm with Kurt, even when we argue. It feels right when we argue because it's normal and healthy for couples to argue. Kurt and I shouldn't be agreeing all the time.
I'd like to say that we've gotten better at how we interact with each other during arguments, but that'd be a lie. I'd like to say that we're working on it, too.
But once again, that'd be a lie.
His cold fingertips graze along my arm and I shudder at the touch, somehow my body feeling like it's on fire, yet I, myself, am freezing. I tighten my grasp on the blanket, somehow hoping that'd help.
Just then, the doorbell rings and I feel my heart shatter. Kurt sighs and rests his chin on my shoulder.
"I don't want to leave, Kaitlyn."
"I don't want you to leave me, either," I whisper.
He holds onto me for a split second, then leaves and walks out of the bedroom to let my brother and his wife inside.
I hear their voices echo throughout the houses, causing it to ring inside my head. I groan and place my hands on either side of my head, trying to get the ringing now out of it.
Footsteps run up the steps and I know that there's about to be a lot of noise, so I slam one end of my head into the pillow to prevent that ear from hearing as much as possible.
When I hear them walk inside the bedroom, I immediately hear Krist ask, "Are you alright?"
I slowly turn over, showing him my exhausted face to let him make the assumption himself.
Shelli sighs. "Oh, you poor thing."
"No, I'm fine," I lie. The only reason why I'm awake is to say goodbye to Kurt before he leaves. If he wasn't leaving, then I would've been in a deep sleep.
"Alright," Kurt grabs his suitcases and sets them by the door, then walks over to me and hugs me. "I would kiss you, but that would give me a 100% chance of getting sick."
"I thought you didn't care if you got sick or not."
He chuckles. "Oh, Kaitlyn. I'm going on tour, of course I care." Instead, he kisses my forehead. "I'll call you everyday, alright? And if you ever want to just fly out, you let me know and I'll make it happen."
I wave goodbye. "I love you."
"I love you more," He watches as my brother comes by my side and places his hand on my forehead.
"Kurt was right, you're really hot," Krist says. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"
"No," I assure him. "I'll let you know if it gets worse. And Shelli will, too. But for the most part, I'm fine right now."
"Bye, I love you. Let me know if you need anything."
"Love you too," I smile at him, wishing that I was able to give any of them a hug right now before they leave.
"Looks like it's just you and me," Shelli grins at me as the other two leave for a very long time.