**HARRYS POV**
Tears still kept silently running down her cheeks, looking into nothing but emptiness as she was now shaking from the coldness and her wet clothes. I sat her down on the couch and put a blanket over her shoulders.
„I'll go get you some clothes to change, baby." I kissed her forehead before I quickly left to go upstairs and get her her clothes.
As I was alone in our bedroom, standing in front of the closet, I leaned against it with both my hands, realizing what was happening. I felt like I couldn't breathe as tears came running down my cheeks uncontrollably. This was the thing I was most scared of happening and now it actually did. All of this felt like a horrible nightmare.
„Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I whispered to myself, falling to my knees. „It can't be..."
I couldn't show her how this made me feel. I needed to be strong for her or she'd fall apart completely. I quickly wiped my tears away and grabbed some new clothes for both Y/n and me before I got back downstairs.
„Here you go, love. Need help?" I asked her.
She nodded, so I slowly started to take off her hoodie and her bra underneath before I helped her put on a new hoodie, one of mine. I did the same with her pants and underwear before I quickly changed into other clothes myself and put all the wet ones away.
I tied my wet hair up and brushed Y/n's hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears.
„I- I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't care about your music. I do care." She almost whispered.
„Hey no, don't apologize, it's all forgotten, okay?"
She nodded slowly.
I sat down on the couch next to her and she instantly fell back into my arms. I pulled her even closer to me, holding tight onto her.
„Wanna tell me how...how and when you found out?" I asked her gently.
„This morning I told you I had this one appointment." She started and I already felt so guilty for not asking more about it when she told me because I was still mad at her.
„Yes, I remember." I nodded, rubbing her back again.
„Well it was a check up. A while ago, they said I would have to go only twice a year now instead of four times...and turns out that decision was a mistake." She sniffled. „I went there in the morning to do the usual...then they saw something was wrong with some of my tests, so they kept me there to do more and more tests until eventually they sat me down and said, Miss Y/l/n, I'm sorry to inform you, but the cancer is back." She said, crying even more. „By then the whole day had passed and it was already four in the afternoon."
„God, baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you call me sooner, though? I would have been there in a heartbeat." I wondered.
„I thought- You were mad at me."
„Oh love. You know I don't care about anything else when there's an emergency or something wrong with you." I kissed her head. „What...what did the doctor say now? Do you know what's gonna happen?"
„I have to go back in tomorrow to discuss the treatment plan." She explained to me. „They said I'd most likely get chemo treatment again, but they don't know how aggressive it really is yet."
Fuck! I just wanted to vomit, thinking about what was happening right now.
„Okay, I'll come with you." I told her.
„You have your appointments, Harry."
„I'm gonna cancel everything. Everything else can wait now. You can't. I told you, I'd be here for you and I won't leave."
„Thank you so much." She cried more and held tighter onto me.
„No need to thank me, baby."
„I'm so scared of chemo treatment. It took away so much from me the last time." More of her tears fell onto my shirt.
„I know, baby. One step at a time, though, okay?"
„Okay." She said silently.
„Uhm, love, I think...I think we should call my mum." I told her eventually. „Is that okay?"
She nodded silently. „Yeah."
I took my phone out of my pocket and with shaky hands, I dialed my mum's number. It was 2 am in Manchester right now, but this couldn't wait.
It rang a while until my mum picked up as she was probably asleep.
„Harry? Love what's up?"
„Mum, there's something we need to tell you...it's about Y/n." I started the conversation.
„What's wrong? Is she okay?" My mum asked, now fully concentrated on what I was saying.
I looked at Y/n to see if she was able to say anything, but I could tell she just couldn't and didn't have the strength to do this right now.
„Mum...the cancer...it's back." I tried to hold back all of my tears that were trying to make their way out. „She just found out."
The other side went dead silent for a minute. My mum didn't say anything, instead I heard a heavy sigh. I could tell she was holding back her tears as well.
„H, no." She said silently. „Please tell me that's not true." Her voice was trembling.
„Unfortunately it is."
„Fuck no..." She whispered to herself. „Where are you? I'm- I'm coming to you."
„Mum, we're in LA. It's way too far-."
„I don't care, Harry. I'm coming, I'm booking a flight. One of my children is sick and I need to be there." That sentence made Y/n cry even more and my tears finally escaped and rolled down my cheeks.
„Okay, I'll book your flight then." I told her.
„Alright, thank you. Is Y/n there? Does she wanna talk?" My mum asked carefully.
„She's here with me, but I don't think she can talk, not right now. But she can hear you." I told her.
„Y/n, baby...my dear...everything will be okay. You're gonna be okay as always. You're so strong, my dear, you've proven that one too many times now. You can do this." My mum said, her voice trembling more with each word. „I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you so much, my darling. So so much!"
„Love you too." Y/n answered silently, pulling her legs up to her chest.
„I have to pack now. See you two soon. I love you both so much. Remember, everything is gonna be okay." Anne said again, but I knew nobody would know that right now. Nobody knew if that was even true or if fate had other plans.
„Thanks mum, love you too. See you soon." I said quietly and hung up.
I looked over at Y/n who was staring at the wall in front of her with a picture of us hangung there. She drifted away completely as silent tears ran down her cheeks, her fingers digging into the fabric of her sweatpants.
„Baby? Look at me please." I almost whispered.
She shook her head no, looking down as she choked back some sobs. „This is the third time, Harry...I'm so tired."
„I know..." I rubbed my face. „But you're not alone this time. „I'm here and everyone else is too. You don't have to deal with this alone. We're all here for you."
„I don't want you to put your life on hold because of me, H. I don't want that. You just started your solo career." She finally looked at me.
„That can wait. Everything can wait now. I don't care about anything or anyone else than you right now."
„I'm so fucking scared, Harry." She scooted closer to me and wrappd her arms back around my body, resting her head against my chest.
„I know, it's okay. It's scary, but as I said, one step at a time. You'll be okay." I assured her. „We'll go back tomorrow and see what's gonna happen."
She nodded, but just couldn't stop crying for many many hours.
I kept holding her in my arms, rocking her back and forth until eventually, she was way too tired after everything she went through today and fell asleep.
I picked her up, made my way upstairs and laid her down in our bed, covering her with the sheets.
As I walked back out of the room, I looked at her again, not wanting to realize that she had to go through this all over again. My beautiful, precious and so wonderful fiancé...she was sick and I couldn't do anything against it.
I didn't wanna fucking lose her.