May 2016
**HARRYS POV**
I hated myself for what I did, I fucking hated myself for screaming at her. At the woman I love. She helped me so incredibly much not just these past days but ever since my accident and I treated her like shit. I didn't know what came over me, but I know I regretted it immediately.
Y/n was crying because of me, because of what I said. God, I yelled at her for no reason, how could I ever do that to my sweet Y/n? How could I hurt her feelings like that?
„Fuck!" I whisper-yelled to myself when Y/n told me to leave and I turned around to go back downstairs where my mum and Gemma already waited, obviously looking mad and I couldn't blame them.
„Harry! Get your ass down here!" My mum commanded. „What the hell has gotten into you? I didn't raise you like this. Why did you yell at her like that for no reason?"
„I don't know I'm sorry, I know I fucked up. I didn't mean to yell at her." I rubbed my face, regretting all I said.
„She did nothing but help and be there for you ever since you broke your back, Harry. Why would you even dare to say all those thing to her?" My mum continued.
„I don't know...something just came over me and I snapped. I hate myself for yelling at her and saying all those things. I know it was wrong, believe me I know and I'm so fucking sorry."
„Then go tell her that." Gemma said.
„She doesn't wanna see me. She doesn't wanna talk." I sighed.
„I wouldn't either if I was her." My mum said. „Give her some space and then go apologize."
I nodded ashamed of what I did and went back into the backyard, sitting down on the porch, tears starting to well up in my eyes at the thought of Y/n crying and feeling hurt because of me.
I felt miserable for yelling at her, as I should. I did this, I hurt her. It was my fault.
**YOUR POV**
I haven't left my room ever since I went up there and basically cried myself to sleep at some point until I woke up again at some time in the middle of the night.
I felt like shit and decided to go downstairs and make myself some tea, because tea almost always helped me feel better.
The lights were turned off everywhere except for the living room where the only thing that lit it up was the tv that was still on.
Knowing Gemma wasn't able to sleep so well, especially now that she went through all these emitions, I knew it was her, trying to fall asleep by watching some tv. She's done it dozens of times when we were younger and we used to have sleepovers in thr living room whenever all of us couldn't sleep.
„Hey Gems, can't sleep as well?" I asked her, walking through the dark until I reached the living room only to realize it wasn't Gemma sitting on the couch. „Oh it's you." I let out when I saw Harry curled up under a blanket and the remote in his hand.
„Can we please talk, Y/n?" He asked calmly, letting go of the remote after he turned down the volume of the tv.
„What's there left to talk about? You told me very clearly what's up."
„I didn't mean to say all those things and I certainly didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Y/n."
„But then why did you do it? Why did you yell? You scared me, Harry." Some tears fell down my cheeks again.
„I don't know, I felt so overwhelmed with everything that it all came over me and I'm so sorry. I know it was more than wrong and you don't deserve to be treated like this. Your feelings matter and I should be thankful you helped me so much through everything from spinal surgery to this." He apologized sincerely and stood up from the couch. „I'm sorry, Y/n. I fucked up and I'm sorry. I love you, with all I have in me and it pains me that I made you feel the way you do now."
„You scared me." I repeated, my voice trembling and tears falling.
„I know, I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong. You're perfect. My perfect, sweet angel. I was wrong, so wrong and I'm sorry."
„It was like I didn't know you. You never acted this way towards me. I went through this with Mason for years. He always yelled at me for no reason. I don't want the one I love to do the same and become a stranger to me." I told him.
„Oh my god, I totally forgot about that, fuck, I'm so fucking sorry, Y/n. I'm so sorry. I promise I will never do this again. I'm so sorry, I didn't think. And we'll never become strangers, I can promise you that. I love you. I love you so much it hurts."
I sighed. „I hate it when we fight." I wiped some of my tears away.
„Me too. I don't wanna fight with you."
„Me neither." I shook my head and looked at him for a few seconds before I approached him and fell into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his body and he pulled me close to his chest.
„I'm so sorry." He whispered again.
„It's okay, Harry." I assured him. „I love you...so much."
„I will never scream at you again, baby. I promise."
„Thank you." I let out a sigh of relief as I finally was in his arms again, pressed to his warm chest. „It sounds pathetic but I missed you so much."
„It doesn't sound pathetic at all. I missed you too." He kissed the top of my head. „I'd want to pick you up right now so bad. Just like I did back then."
„Please don't." I pulled away a bit and looked up at him, cupping his cheek. „You know why."
„I won't." He nodded, smiling at me assuringly, his eyes still glossy.
„What are you doing down here on the couch anyways? It's the middle of the night." I wondered.
„I can't sleep without you next to me and I felt horrible for yelling at you so I came down here."
„To be fair, same here. Looks like I'm not able to fall asleep when you're not next to me." I admitted. „A little more than a year ago, I had no problem with that since I've been alone for quite a while, but that's changed so quickly ever since we got back together."
„I guess that's just us making up for the time we lost." He smiled.
I nodded, smiling back. „I think so too." I hugged him tightly again, breathing in his familiar scent. „Oh H, I love you so much."
„I love you more, my angel." He whispered back, letting go of me.
„Please don't let go, you're so warm and I'm so cold." I clung to him.
He giggled a little. „Then let's get under that fluffy blanket together and cuddle. I'll keep you warm." He let go and geabbed my hand to guide me to the couch before he pulled me into his embrace again and covered both of us with the warm blanket.
„We should really get some sleep upstairs in your bed, Haz." I told him.
„Or we could just sleep here, my love."
„It's not good for your back though. It would act up tomorrow." I brushed my hand over his incision scar.
„I can handle that. I've handled worse." He shrugged it off.
I tilted my head. „Yeah, as you said, you went through worse, you don't have to do that and put yourself through pain when you could avoid it. You'd be in pain during the funeral and feel uncomfortable."
„I guess so, yeah." He sighed. „How I hate my messed up back." He said jokingly, but I knew he was partly serious about it.
„H, it's not messed up, it's just healing." I kissed his lips.
„Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyways, I'm too comfortable to get up right now." He whined.
„Come on, I'll go first." I chuckled and got up before I stretched my hand out for him to take and get up too. „We can cuddle in bed. It will be way more comfortable."
„Alright, alright." He gave in.
„Wait, I'll make us tea and then we can cuddle, that's the reason I even came down here in the first place."
„Okay, I'll wait upstairs, princess." He kissed my lips again before he disappeared, walking up the stairs.
Only a few minutes later, I got in bed with some hot tea for both of us and we finally cuddled for a while before we eventually fell asleep.