May 2016
**YOUR POV**
I drove the whole car ride to Manchester since Harry wasn't in the right space of mind to do so.
He leaned against the car window, his arm rested on the armrest, a pair of black sunglasses sitting on his nose.
„Can you stop at the next gas station, please?" Harry asked, his voice low.
„Sure." I nodded, steering towards it. „Do you need anything?"
„I just need to stand up and stretch my back. I have to get out of this sitting position, it's starting to hurt."
„Oh, I'm sorry, I should have stopped sooner." I realized after two hours of driving, that usually we made more stops to relieve his back.
„No, it's fine." He assured me with a small smile.
A few moments later, I stopped at that gas station and went inside to get some snacks and water for the last two hours of the trip. As I went back to the black Range Rover, Harry was leaning against the car with his hands rested against the window, his head down as he tried to stretch his back by moving back and forth.
„Hey, are you okay?" I placed a hand on his back.
„Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, thanks."
„You don't look so okay to me, baby." I rubbed his back gently.
„It just feels tight and that makes it hurt."
„Oh, I'm sorry, lovie. What can I do to help?" I asked him.
„Not much really, but thanks." He pushed himself away from the car and turned around to face me. „Let's get going."
„Are you sure?" I placed my hand on his waist, seeing in his face he was clearly not feeling great.
He nodded, but only a few seconds later, his eyes filled with tears.
„Come here, Haz." I pulled him close to me so I could hug him tight, soothingly rubbing his back while doing so.
„I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear, sniffling.
„Don't be, I understand. You're going through a hard time and a lot of emotions. Just let it out, it's okay, H."
„Thank you." He said silently. „I love you."
„Love you more, Harry." He let go of me after a while and I reached up to wipe the tears on his cheeks away. „Ready?" I asked again, carefully, giving him as much time as he needed.
„Yeah, let's go." Harry nodded and we got back into the car to contonue the ride.
„Let me know if you need to stop again." I told Harry, placing my hand on his.
He nodded with a little smile that faded soon. „Thanks."
Seeing him so sad was heartbreaking, especially the reason why he was so sad, knowing he was deeply hurt and broken because of it. I hated it. He was just getting better from spinal surgery and was in a happy place again only for this to happen that pushed him right back into that dark place again.
*
Finally, I turned into the street of Anne's house, slowly driving into the driveway before I parked the car. I turned the engine off and unbuckled myself, turning to Harry as I placed my hand on his. „Are you ready?" I asked him carefully.
„To be honest...not at all. I'm scared of what to find when we get in there. But I need to be strong for my mum or she'll completely fall apart."
I nodded understandingly. „I'm here for you through all of it, okay? I'm here, no matter what." I told him.
„Thank you, Y/n."
„No need to, baby." I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand before we both got out of the car and walked up to the front door.
I rang the door bell and we nervously waited for someone to open the door.
Not long later it opened and Anne stood in front of us, her eyes and cheeks full of tears. She looked so deeply heartbroken as if her eyes lost their light.
Harry instantly pulled her in his arms and that was when the tears of both of them fell again.
Gemma walked up from behind Anne, not looking any better and I immediately opened my arms for her, hugging her tight as we both started crying as well.
„I'm so sorry, Gems. I'm so sorry." I rubbed her back soothingly as she cried into the crook of my neck.
After a while of hugging, we let go of each other and I went to hug and greet Anne while Harry did the same with Gemma.
„I can't believe he's gone." Anne said to me, wiping her tears away.
„I know...I can't either. It's devastating."
She nodded before she realized we still stood outside at the front door.
„Come in you two, come in, get settled." Anne guided us inside the house.
It was later in the evening by now since we left quite late from London, so we went up to Harry's old room that had a bigger bed than mine, we both would fit in and unpacked our things.
„I'll go downstairs help out Anne and make us all something to eat." I told Harry who sat on his bed when I was done unpacking most of my things.
„I'm not hungry." He responded silently.
„Okay then...I'll give you some space. Let me know if you need anything." I kissed his forehead and walked out of the room, stopping at the door before I looked back at him, looking at him for a few seconds, his head down, his hands in his lap as he was nervously tugging on his bracelet. He took some deep breaths, something I knew he did to calm himself down when he started to feel overwhelmed.
I decided to give him some space and leave him alone, giving him some time to process this on his own until he was ready and decided to come to me, his sister or his mum, so I went downstairs and helped Anne to make some dinner while we talked about what happened and how she was feeling, which was harder than I thought. Seeing the whole family like this wasn't easy, having lost someone this special and loved was something I wouldn't wanna wish anyone.
We ended up hugging each other tightly and I let her get a little break while I finished cooking.
It turned out that Gemma, Anne and I weren't as hungry as we thought we were as well, so we didn't eat much and just went to sit and watch tv in the living room to get our minds off everything just for tonight since tomorrow would be all about planning the funeral and everything.
We sat there for a while when Harry came downstairs and sat down next to me, snuggling into my side and taking a deep breath in and then out. His eyes were a little swollen and puffy, so I knew he was crying earlier.
„Are you okay, baby?" I whispered in his ear, running my fingers through his hair.
„I am when I'm with you." He whsipered back.
I kissed the top of his head and continued to soothingly run my fingers through his soft curls.