Today is the day that I meet Frances. Now that Kurt and I have officially been dating for a month, he thinks that it's a good time for me to meet her. Courtney only lets Kurt see Frances during the day as of right now, so he goes somewhere else with her. I never ask where he goes, but I know that he's not with Courtney.
I've always had a soft spot for children. I think that what I went through with my father might have something to do with it, but I love them.
I'm excited to meet Frances. I've always wondered what she's looked like and how she acts. By the way Kurt describes her, she's the most perfect human being in the entire world.
Krist and Shelli have described her like that as well. They got to meet her before I did. They met her right after she was born.
Kurt misses her terribly, I just know he does. He's gone from seeing her everyday to only seeing her a couple days a week. I always remind him that things aren't going to be that way forever and he'll get to see her more, but he doesn't believe me.
He always tells me that I don't get it since I don't know Courtney.
Kurt emerges from the front door holding a car seat in his right arm and a diaper bag in his left hand. I get out of the car and open up the back door, attempting to help him.
He smiles as soon as he sees me do that. Before I know it, he's putting her car seat in the car. I try to catch a glimpse at her, but Kurt shuts the door.
"Not yet," He shakes his finger playfully at me. "I want to wait to catch it on video."
"You want to take a video?" I smile at him. It makes me happy that he wants to capture that moment.
"Yeah. Now let's go."
Right as I get in the car, I look back at the front door and I see a woman leaning against the doorframe. The front door is wide open and she's watching us.
It's Courtney.
She has messy blond hair with smeared red lipstick. She's wearing a cheetah robe with a bra on and shorts. Her fashion taste is definitely unique.
The fact that she's just staring at me and not lunging at me or choking me shows how mature and kind she is. In another world, maybe she and I could be friends.
If I was her, I would be livid and angry, but she just appears to be very calm, almost as if she's just absorbing the moment.
"Kaitlyn, come on," Kurt says softly.
I snap back into reality and get into the car, not once taking my eyes off of Courtney. She and I have a stare-down with each other.
I feel really bad for Courtney. She didn't deserve what Kurt and I did to her. She's probably a really lovely woman.
"Is she mad at you for what we did?" I ask Kurt as we drive home.
"Oh absolutely," Kurt replies. "She almost hit me when she found out."
I stare at him with my jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"
He nods his head. "Not like a punch or anything, just a slap across the face."
"That's still not okay," I mutter.
"I know, but she never did it," He says, almost justifying what she did. "If she did, I wouldn't allow Frances to be around her."
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Frances is a very beautiful baby. Her golden brown hair peers over her forehead just a little while her eyes take the rest of the spotlight. Most babies' eyes are blue when they're first born, but hers are darker than most. They're a darker blue, but they're very big.
I haven't ever really seen a baby this small before, so it amazes me just how small she is-her fingers, her hands, her feet, her ears, just her whole body.
The way that Kurt handles her with such care makes my heart skip with joy. He's always wanted this. I know that he wishes things were different for her. He's always wanted a perfect family where the mother and father live together with the children.
Seeing him interact with Frances makes me jealous. I want us to have a child of our own. I know that we've technically only been dating for a month, but we've been together before and I know him on a different level.
I'd be willing to have sex with him. I wasn't before-when we first started dating-but seeing the way that him and I understand each other and how we've come back to each other shows that I am ready for that.
"Do you want to hold her?" Kurt asks me after he finishes admiring her.
"Are you sure?" I internally panic. I've never held a baby before, so I'm really scared that I might drop her.
He notices how nervous I am, so he softly chuckles. "Come here." He pats a seat down next to him, so I sit down. "Put a pillow underneath your arm so that you have more stability."
I do what he says and he puts Frances into my arms. I re-position her to where her head is laying in the corner of my bent arm while the rest of her body is resting on the rest of the pillow. Her body is so tiny that it fits the entire pillow.
As I stare down at her, I notice her breathing. Her mouth is slightly open and she's making loud noises as her chest rises and falls. Her eyes are wide open and she's looking throughout my entire living room.
I wonder how far she can see and how much she notices. Her eyes meet Kurt's and she instantly smiles at him. Kurt softly chuckles as his eyes fill with love as he looks at her. Their eyes are similar to each other's.
She doesn't quite look like her parents just yet, but that's probably because she's not old enough to make that resemblance yet.
"Kurt, she's so precious," I tell him softly.
"I know," He breathes and scoots closer to me, our bodies right up against each other. He then randomly pulls out his camera and starts recording us.
"What are you doing?" I slightly chuckle.
"You guys are my girls," He smiles.
I start to smile, too, but it fades away as I realize he probably told that to Courtney and Frances, too. I wouldn't doubt it. They were his girls-his wife and his daughter. But now they're not and it's us three.
"What's wrong?" He asks me.
"It's nothing," I brush it off and go back to looking at Frances.
I've never seen such a tiny human being before. But before I am able to get a long look at her, Kurt says my name once more. I bring my head to face him and he's still looking concerned.
"What's wrong?" He asks once more. "Did I do something wrong? Is it something I said?"
I shake my head. "No, Kurt, you didn't do anything."
He sets down the camera behind him and kisses me. "Kaitlyn, don't lie."
I sigh. "Kurt, please don't worry about it. It's really nothing."
He nods his head and drops it. He has always known when to stop asking about something or when to not ask me. Under the right circumstances, he will continue to press.
After a little longer of me holding her, she falls asleep, so we put her inside of an extra Pac-N-Play Kurt gave me after a little while of him moving into my apartment.
Kurt and I sit back down on the couch and turn something on the television. I can't even focus because my brain can't comprehend what is going on.
Just a month ago, I was complaining that my life was terrible and things weren't going good. But now, I have the life that I've wanted.
I've wanted Kurt for so long and now I finally have him. I never thought that I was gong to be able to get him back. After we broke up, I never thought I would have to interact with him again.
Now here we are, laying down on my couch, and watching something after I met his kid. In the ideal life, that would be our kid, but I'm hoping that we can work to get there.
"Kaitlyn, can I tell you something?" He asks.
I look up at him and nod my head. "Of course."
"I love you so much."
My heart flutters after hearing him say that. I've been told my numerous people in my life that they love me, but when Kurt says it, it never fails to give me butterflies; it always has.
"You do?" I ask him, stunned.
"Yes," He leans in and kisses me, then pulls away. "I have ever since I first dated you, Kaitlyn."
My stomach does a cartwheel. I pull him on top of me by his flannel and continue to kiss him.
I pull away from him for a second to look into his eyes and say, "I love you more Kurt."
He takes his hands and pushes them underneath my shirt, cupping my breasts. Normally I would've pushed him away by now, but I want him to keep going. I want to take our relationship to the next level.
He pulls away and breathes heavily. "Kaitlyn, are you sure you want to do this?"
I nod my head. "Kurt, I've wanted to do this for the past month."
He grins widely and smashes his lips against mine, leaving no space between either of our bodies.
His hands take off my bra very swiftly while I take off his flannel. Before I know it, all of our clothes are off.
We spend the next hour proving our love to each other.