⚠️ self-harm ⚠️
JJ's POV:
My dad just almost beat me to death and I was not in a good place mentally. My best friend was dead and my two other best friends kissed.
I left my dad's house and went to the chateau. It felt so odd being there knowing John B would never be coming home. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and started smoking some weed.
I spent three days getting high and drunk. I haven't heard from Kie or Pope. They were probably too busy macking to care about me. I was all alone and I had no one. No one ever gave a shit about me.
I stopped smoking and I stopped drinking. I was sober all day long. It was exhausting having to deal with the millions of thoughts and emotions. I loved Kie but she loved Pope. My best friend and his girlfriend are dead. I have an abusive father who tried to kill me. My own mother left and didn't even want me when I was two years old. No one loved me. I wasn't capable of being loved.
I grabbed a knife from the counter and made a tiny cut on my wrist. I suddenly felt better watching the blood ooze out from my arm. This could get addicting. I made another small incision on my wrist. I was crying and I pulled out a bottle of pills I stole off the table before leaving my house. I could swallow them now and end it all forever.
I'd get to see John B again. I wouldn't feel any of this pain anymore. No one would miss me. It would make my life better if I wasn't here. I opened the pill bottle and suddenly, I looked up and Kie was standing there.
"JJ..." She said with tears flooding her eyes
I quickly put the pills back in the bottle and she sat next to me on the couch and we both broke down crying. I got blood all over her shirt from the blood on my wrist and my face from my dad. I pulled back and said, "I'm getting you all full of my blood"
"I don't give a shit..." She said pulling me back into her arms and this time I held onto her and never wanted to let go. I wrapped my arms around her small body and I was so gentle not to hurt her.
We stayed like this for probably ten minutes and then Kie broke the hug and she went and grabbed the first aid kit. She cleaned my cuts from my dad and the ones that were self-inflicted.
She then pulled me back into her arms and just lightly rubbed my back and comforted me. She asked if there was anything needed and I repeatedly said no. I told her that I was okay and that she could go home.
"There is no way in hell that I am leaving you alone. You are the strongest person I know, but I don't trust you to be by yourself right now. I can't lose you too..."
Kie got me in bed and she laid with me until I fell asleep. I woke up and she was still right next to me. She smiled and said good morning and then she made me breakfast. I could feel her watching my every move closely. She was scared I was going to do something.
I was taking a shower and Kie came in and she sat with her back up against the door. She started talking to me she just wanted to make sure I was okay. She was worried about me and I felt guilty for putting this on her.
This continued for three days and Kie got a bath all ready for me. I was sitting in the bath with Epsom salt and essential oils. She told me her mom used to do this to make her feel better.
"Will you come in with me?" I asked her nervous
She agreed and she took her clothes off right in front of me and I looked down at the water trying not to make her uncomfortable. Her body was so perfect and so was she. She sat in front of me and I wrapped my arms around her. We sat there until the water cooled off. I washed her beautiful hair and we got out of the shower. We laid in bed and watched movies all day. Kie ordered pizza for us and then we went to bed. We had been laying there for a while and she was asleep.
"Kie..." I said waking her up and she looked at me concerned
I told her all about the fight I got into with my dad and the way I felt about everything. She was crying and so was I. I told her everything and more, things I'd never said before.
We talked for hours and Kie made me feel wanted and loved she said, "If anything ever happened to you, I would miss you like crazy. I don't think I would ever be okay. You mean more to me than you will ever know. You're my best friend in the whole world and I love you, J."
"You're my best friend too. I promise you that I won't ever do anything like that again. Love you, Kie..." I said meaning it as she was my friend
We both fell asleep and the next day Pope came over. Apparently, Kie had rejected him. Pope asked how I was and Kie jumped in and said, "He's doing much better. He just needs his friends."
She didn't tell Pope which I appreciated. Pope hung out with us all day and we went out on the boat. It felt good to have a somewhat normal day. There was some tension between the two of them. They both stayed with me at the chateau. It was a beautiful night and Pope was asleep on the couch and Kie crashed on the pullout couch. I went out to the hammock to be alone and Kie came out and laid next to me.
"Are you okay?" She asked as I pulled her into my arms
"Yeah, I needed a day like today" I said and she cuddled up to me and fell asleep in my arms
We woke up and Pope said, "Great Kie, you reject me and then go hook up with my best friend.."
"Pope, relax... Nothing happened. We just fell asleep talking about John B. Remember we have a rule, no macking.." I said calming him down and he had to go as he had to help his dad out today
Kie looked at me and she said, "J, I really meant what I said the other day and not how you think. I love you and not just as my best friend..."
"Really?" I asked surprised
"Yes, don't find that so hard to believe. You don't understand how special you are. I love you and I can't live without you"
"Shit.. I never expected to hear that from you... Thank you for everything, Kie. I love you too, so fucking much"
Our lips touched for the first time and it was like her lips healed me. She made me feel wanted, loved, and special. I've never had anyone care about me like this before. Now, I had Kie and I have no intentions of ever letting her go.