Heara's POV
Umupo kami ni Jungkook sa may garden at binalot kami ng katahimikan.
"What if he loves you too?" He asked all of a sudden at biglang nag iba ang mood ng paligid. Ang katahimikan ay napalitan ng pagiging seryoso ng usapan.
"Pffft. We both know si Katlyn pa rin ang mahal niya." I kidded.
"But what if, right?" He continued. "Maybe, you'll not be as broken as this."
"Naaawa ka ba sa akin?" Tanong ko at bumuntong hininga. "Don't be, please."
He shook is head. "I just don't want to see someone I love be in pain."
"Then what? I could be happy with him, but you'll end up having a broken heart?"
"Kahit naman anong gawin ko, hindi ko naman siya kayang palitan eh." Sabi niya at binigyan niya ako ng isang napakalungkot na ngiti. "Kim Taehyung will always be Kim Taehyung. And I'm just Jeon Jungkook."
"So it would be better kung isa lang sa atin ang tuluyang masaktan, di ba? Kesa sa tayong dalawa right? At least that can spare one broken heart."
"Naririnig mo ba ang sinasabi mo?" Sabi ko sa kanya habang hindi ko na mapigilan ang luhang gustong gusto ng kumawala.
"How can you say that na parang wala lang? How can you be that selfless, huh Jungkook? I wouldn't want to leave you all broken and alone.. Hindi ko kaya. Bakit ba kasi ako pa yung nagustuhan mo? Marami naman iba jan eh.."
"Tahan na." Sabi niya sabay punas sa luha ko. "At saka anong magagawa ko? Hindi ko naman kontrolado puso ko e."
"You know that having your heart is the only cure to my broken one." Sabi nito at malungkot parin na nakangiti. "Your heart has been owned by him, at wala na tayong magagawa dun."
"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought you here. It's so insensitive of me, dahil alam kong makikita niya tayong magkasama. I bet nakita na nila tayo kanina, pakiramdam mo lang hindi. It's so selfish of me." He blurted out of nowhere. "Siguro, naiinggit lang talaga ako, na siya talaga yung mahal mo. I just thought na siguro, kapag nakasama kita, for a moment I can be him too. Siguro gusto ko lang maramdaman na kaya ko ring mapapantayan yung lugar niya sa puso mo. But I knew, I really can't. I'm really sorry Heara. Sorry for making you cry."
Naiiyak lalo ako dahil kay Jungkook. How can he be this selfless, this honest and this gentle. I don't expect him to tell me all his insecurities and pain, but he's telling me now. Hindi ko talaga kayang saktan yung puso niya. All he did was to make me smile, to care for me, to protect me. Never once I saw him being selfish. I just can't broke his heart too. Tama na yung akin yung masira.
Jungkook don't deserve me, na hindi man lang kayang ibigay tong puso ko. He deserve so damn much more, someone na kayang ibigay yung pagmamahal na dapat para sa kanya.
Bigla ko nalang siyang niyakap. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Bulong ko sa kanya. He hugged me much tighter.
Lahat alam ni Jungook. Kung ano man yung nangyari sa amin ni Taehyung alam niya. He was there listening to my unending tears, lagi niya akong sinasalo. He was there to cheer me up, all these time, nasa tabi ko siya. Hindi ko makakayanan to nang wala siya. And I don't know how to repay him.
"I'm really sorry Jungkook." Sabi ko habang humihikbi. Narinig ko siya na tumawa ng mahina.
"What are you sorry for? Silly, I told you desisyon ko to. I'm okay, kaya tumahan ka na jan." Sabi niya sabay tapik sa likod ko. "At tsaka sayang make up mo, mababawasan nyan ganda mo eh." Pagbibiro pa nito.
"How can I repay you?" I said between sobs.
"Nothing. I just want you to be happy, and that's enough." He said and I swear I'm starting to lose it. How could this stupid heart of mine not like Jungkook? He's everything I wanted from the start. He has this heart of gold na bihira makita. But why am I letting that heart go?
"Madaya ka naman eh." Bulong ko sa kanya. Pero gaya nang lagi niyang ginagawa he just give me one of those stupid smile of his. Hindi ba siya napapagod ngumiti kahit hindi naman talaga siya okay? I hate him for smiling so wide every single day kahit nasasaktan na siya.
I just can't break his heart like that for my own selfishness.
Suddenly, from that moment, I had this urge inside of me na gustong maging masaya si Jungkook nang tuluyan. I want to make all of his smiles to be real and genuine. "Let's do it." Hindi ko namalayan na nasabi ko na. I just can't let the person by my side earn a broken heart nang dahil sa akin.
"..Do what?" He asked curiously at nawala ang kanyang ngiti.
"Let's date." I don't know what got into me pero bahala na. Ayokong may nasasaktan because of me. If I can handle all of the pain, then be it.
