Joy's POV
It's already been a month since I've told Hopie what I really feel for him. And yeah, it was the hardest thing to do. Pretending that I really don't love him after my confession is such a burden inside of me. Pero ginawa ko ang lahat para maisantabi ko yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Sobrang hirap kasi na sabihin sa sarili ko na kalimutan siya kung isa siya sa pinakamahalagang tao sa buhay ko. But after realizing na wala naman talagang pag asa para sa amin, I started to put in my head na hindi talaga pwede. Pilit kong isiniksik sa utak ko na kahit anong gawin ko, he will not see me as a woman.
And that's it. Pagkagising ko sa umaga hanggang sa pagtulog, yan ang bagay na pinipilit kong ipaintindi sa sarili ko.
Guess it's time to forget all my feelings and start anew. It's time to let go of all my feelings for J-Hope that been holding me back for so long.
Let me tell you, hindi madali. Sobrang hirap nga eh. Na sabihin sa sarili ko loving him is off limits sa tuwing makikita ko siya. Pero kailangang kayanin eh. Wala naman kasing mapupuntuhan yung nararamdaman ko.
I admit, If I had a chance minsan I turn down his invitations para lumabas or kumain. Feeling ko kasi the more I am with him, mas lalo akong mahihirapan na kalimutan yung nararamdaman ko. Although I hated it to say no to my bestfriend, I need to. This time, I want to think of myself first. But that doesn't mean He'll not be my bestfriend anymore. He will always be, yun nga lang for the mean time, babawasan ko muna yung pakikipagkita sa kanya para mas madaling makalimot.
Lately, I've been hanging out with RM. He's been comforting me since the confession. And I am really thankful with him. Siguro kung wala siya, mas mahirap yung sitwasyon ko. When he's with me, nadidivert yung pag iisip ko about kay J-Hope. And that's really a good thing. Dahil hindi na si J-Hope ang laman ng utak ko 24/7.
The funny thing is, I confessed to my bestfriend already, but RM, who suggested me to do it, can't even confess to Katly. His bestfriend.
Ewan ko ba, nagsama kaming dalawa, na nainlove sa mga bestfrineds namin pero may mahal na iba.
And that's why I am really comfortable with RM. I feel like he perfectly understand how I feel. After all, he's inlove with his bestfriend too.
Were exactly on the same page.
Both of our hearts were left behind.
