Spiderson/Irondad & Avengers One Shots

Forensic Science? (Sorry)

Maybe a Trigger warning?? A lot of facts about death and um, kinda homophobic? Idk, I don't think it's too offensive, but just in case. Also! Sorry about all the side notes, I don't want to offend anyone with my writing and stuff. was going through my comments and um, yea. Also read Note at the end, please?!!

Song of the Chapter... No Matter What by Calum Scott

It started off with Peter waking up on the wrong side of the bed and a poor soul daring to approach the half-asleep teen. Who was the poor soul? The unfortunate ass of America, Steve Rogers. You all may be wondering what could be so bad about the lovable spider teen? We all know he wouldn't hurt a bug, refer to the ladybug funeral. So, what was so bad?

"Hey, Pete-"

""Hop the twig," "yield the crow a pudding," "snuff one's glim," and "climb the six-foot ladder," were all once for death." It was a cold response, almost zombie-like and the captain was confused.

"Um, what-" The other teen at the table cut the man off with a gesture and smirked.

"So Peter, wanna-"

"Chainsaws were originally invented for childbirth." The spider left the room without another word and the two remaining people shared glances.

Harley was amused and grinned evilly. He was going to make this fun and he knew just how to do it. Every time Peter went to bed early, Harley would wake up before his older brother and make sure someone was in the kitchen when Peter headed there. The second person to witness this bit of interaction was Clint who was concerned for the kid after his exchange of words.

"Yo mini Stark-"

"When people find out they are dying, they experience what's known as an "existential slap," according to palliative care experts. It's the moment when a person knows, on a gut level, that death is close." Same as when Peter spoke to Captain America, his voice was void of emotion and the eye of hawk nodded.

"Righttt. Anyway, Harls want a peanut butter-"

"One inmate who survived the first round of electrocution said death tasted 'like peanut butter.'" The words coming from Peter's mouth were random and very morbid, a very unusual form of Peter Parker Stark.

It was as though a documentary was being played, except they were random thoughts and Peter was overtired. Spiderman has been patrolling nonstop for the past 2 weeks after a prison break, while Peter Parker Stark had a rough month. The 'normal' doe-eyed teen was assigned a research project in his Biology, History, English, and Forensic Science class, a couple of decathlon meets and his suit was malfunctioning. The kid was running on no sleep and when he did pass out, he'd have to wake up a couple of hours later for whatever reason.

"Peter, are you feeling alri-"

"Feeding a human body to pigs will cause them to eat almost everything." Harley grinned as he looked at the broken archer and then back at his brother.

The spider had walked off to most likely work on his project or his suit.. Or he just passed out somewhere. Anything made sense to the young teen when it came to his older brother and he shook his head. The next candidate was Wanda and it was late in the afternoon. Everyone else was out and Harley was watching a movie on the TV, taking a break from his lab for a bit.

The spider teen walked into the room with his eyes bloodshot, face sullen, and mumbles leaving his mouth. The hair on his head was messy and his clothes hadn't been changed for 3 days, since Friday. At first, no one noticed the spider and Harley pouted. He couldn't make the humanoid and witch suspicious by starting the engagement, so he waited in silence until his older cousin finally noticed Peter.