Spiderson/Irondad & Avengers One Shots

A Little Unsteady

Song of the Chapter and Lyrics used in this on shot is... Unsteady by X Ambassadors!

Hold,

Hold on..

I stopped drinking for you. Got rid of all the alcohol in the compound. There's none left, I know you hated when I was drinking.

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady

I also stopped crying so much, which surprised everyone. I still get nightmares frequently and each of them are always the same.

Hold

Hold on

I never seem to make it in time. It's as if I'm being haunted. Which is crazy, right? I mean, ghosts aren't real.

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady

After all, if ghosts were real... I'm sure I would be haunted by you. Your sass, your knowledge. Your pain. The way I failed to reach you in time.

Mama, come here

Approach, appear

Pepper is a mess. She misses you everyday. She calls you an idiot for what you did, but she also thanks you. As if she should care if I'm alive. I'm the reason you're gone.

Daddy, I'm alone

'Cause this house don't feel like home

Everyone moved out, unable to bear the weight of your death. The Avengers disbanded without the glue that held them together.

If you love me, don't let go

If you love me, don't let go

I'm actually focusing on my work more. It distracts me from the reality of everything. I try not to think about you, but somehow.. you're always the first thing on my mind.

Hold

Hold on

First thing in the morning and last thing at night. Your smiling face when you were happy. Sad moments when you tried to hide your emotions, but you could never hide it from me.

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady

The world was affected by your death. Hell, outside of this world was affected as well. The Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain Marvel, Loki, Thor, everyone you've met.

Hold

Hold on

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady

I'm falling apart without you here. The world doesn't seem right. Your face is all over the place and it hurts. Everytime I walk out of the compound.

Mother, I know

That you're tired of being alone

Black Widow wasn't doing so well. She disassociated from everyone. Even Shield. The pain of you being gone is too much. She could never be the same.

Dad, I know you're trying

To fight when you feel like flying

Today was an especially hard day. You were buried today. Everyone came. Everyone sobbed. It was like a nightmare we would never wake up from, except it was reality.

If you love me, don't let go

If you love me, don't let go

They covered your grave, white flowers being left on top. I of course was there, but I stood in the background. I was asked several times to help with the arrangements, but I just couldn't.

Hold

Hold on

Maybe it was because I didn't want to let myself accept that you were gone. If I did that, I would have to let go. Let go of the memories, let go of our time together, let go of everything.

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady

Now here I am, a few days after your funeral. Looking over old photos and videos. Of us. Of the team. Of a happier time in our lives. You may be gone, but... I can't accept it. You were everything to me. How do I just accept that you're gone?

Hold

Hold on

Words were exchanged between everyone on the team today. It's been almost a year since you've been gone. It's still hard doing superhero work without you. I still stop criminals, but it seems everyone else gave up.

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady

Everyone still isn't over your death and I can't blame them. Your face is plastered or painted all over the city. I try not to look because I don't want to cry, however it's hard. I've had people look at me differently for letting the tears fall, but I'm still not over your death.

Hold

Hold on

I know I keep repeating myself with the non acceptance, but I can't help it. I just, I miss you. You meant everything to me.. you inspired me everyday, even though I'm sure you didn't realize you did.

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady

I'm tired of pretending to be okay. To act like your death hasn't affected me. We weren't blood related, but I still saw you as family. We all did. We miss you, Peter. I just wish I hadn't gotten you killed..

If I had just, answered the phone when you called. If I had listened to you and wasn't distracted. If I had seen you jump, maybe I could've gotten to you first. You were never meant to die. Not this young.

Why didn't you let me die, kid? Why let me live a miserable life without you? Why couldn't you just be selfish for once? Did you want to die?

You didn't give it a second thought. You saw and jumped. Who would do that? Who would jump in front of someone to sacrifice their own life? I may sound like a hypocrite, but you're just a kid.

I laughed at that thought, hearing your voice in the back of my head correcting me. You always corrected me, even during the times where you're meant to be quiet, you would correct me if you thought differently.

I still remember when the Falcon situation happened. You risked your life for everyone, and when you almost let the boat sink.. I never told you that although what you did was stupid and I ended up saving everyone, you almost split yourself in half trying to keep that ship together.

You will always be my son. I'm so sorry for the life you had, but I promise.. I will be the person you always saw me as. 

                                                           Word Count: 1,022

Okay, so. This is the second part of the first one shot. Hope y'all liked it. Please vote and comment your opinions.