Always Here: A Jay Halstead fanfic

Chapter Forty Three

When Jay had heard her first sob, he thought it was good, good that she was letting it all out. He thought it was her way of dealing with everything. But after ten minutes without her stopping, he realized he couldn't listen to her anymore, he couldn't let her go through this anymore, he couldn't stand hearing her in pain.

He calmly walked over to her, scooping her up and opening the door to her bedroom walking inside and sitting on the bed, it broke his heart seeing such a strong, tough person like this. "Jay" she cried out wrapping her arms around his neck, breathing in his comforting scent. She had always told herself not to depend on someone for comfort, especially a man. But this was Jay and even if she didn't deserve him, he was here.

"You're here" she whimpered, thinking he had finally left because he was done with her shit. "Always. I'm always going to be here" he said gently, rocking her. He felt horrible that she thought that he didn't care about her anymore. She had tripped up but that didn't change the way he saw her.

She started mumbling to him about how sorry she was but he shushed her gently, not wanting her to embarrass herself. "Shh it's okay. I got you" he cooed as she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting the side of her face against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

His chest was hard and being wrapped in his strong arms were comforting. "I miss Lily so much," she said in between sniffles. "I know," Jay said, rubbing her back. He would do anything to bring Lily back, protect Harper from this pain. But he couldn't bring Lily back. He couldn't convince her that this wasn't her fault. The only thing he could do was be there for her.

She looked up into his bright blue eyes and his heart sank, her glassy green eyes were still filled with tears, studying his face to make sure he wanted this, to make sure he meant what he said, to make sure she could depend on him. He gently swiped some of the tears from her face away even though it was probably a lost cause by now and he pulled her into him.

Her body was still shaking and she was still hiccuping from how hard she had cried but she had stopped, "Easy, easy, it's okay" he soothed. Jay had held her until the last tear, the least angry, broken sob had shook her. After 20 minutes Harper's movements had stilled, he head was still resting against his chest and she was still in his arms but she was asleep, for the first time in a month, she had fallen asleep easily.

Jay rested his head on her's, tightening his arms around her, he was glad she was using him as comfort rather than pushing him away. He knew there were so many other things she could have resorted to right about now.

He also knew there was still a long way to go, and that they would have to talk about this tomorrow. But at least they had made some progress, at least she knew she still mattered to him. After an hour, a knock on the door interrupted their moment. Harper was still asleep, latched on to Jay but Jay had remained awake. He was slightly angry that someone had knocked on the door, interrupting their intimate moment and while Harper was finally getting her rest but nonetheless he shifted to answer it.

He tried to pick Harper up and lay her down but she whimpered, still in her broken state, tightening her arms around him, nuzzling his chest and grabbing fistfuls of the fabric of his brown knit shirt which was probably soaked through with her tears by now. He would gladly stay there with her all over him for years if it meant she was going to be okay.

Surprised by her gestures, he said, "It's okay, I'm just going to answer the door, I'll be right back" assuring her, gently squeezing her before laying her petite body down on her bed, covering her up with the sheets as he saw her shiver before straightening his shirt and opening the door. Harper was exhausted, she hadn't even thought about what had just happened between them, she was just glad that Jay was there.

Jay opened the door and was surprised to see Voight on the other side. It was weird seeing Voight at his house, and it was also weird to be talking to him about Harper. "Harper's asleep" he said softly as Voight nodded, walking into the apartment. "Do you think she's ready to go back next week, when you come back from medical leave?" Voight said.

Jay knew that Harper still had a long way to go but he knew going to work would help her get through it, "Yes, I do, I don't think she'll be able to stand being here and doing nothing for any longer" Jay agreed. "Next week will be a short week anyways, I gave you two Thursday and Friday off for Christmas" Voight explained.

"Look, I don't care how you two are involved, you guys can even still remain partners, I won't split you up like I did with Lindsay, I just want you to have her back, always" Voight said, Jay was dumbfounded, being split up from Harper was the only thing keeping him from making a move on her.

"I want her to hear that from me first and tell her to meet me for breakfast at my house tomorrow morning before I have to go to work," Voight said, turning on his heel, leaving as Jay nodded.

Jay closed the door, locking it before walking to Harper's bedroom and climbing into bed with her as promised. He smiled when she snuggled into him, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. It was uncomfortable at first, sleeping in a pair of jeans but Jay wouldn't dare move because he didn't want to wake Harper up.

As Jay looked down at his partner's sleeping figure, he realized he had to step up and quit running around his feelings for her, he needed to show her what real love was. Him and Harper made quite the amazing pair, the way they were connected, the way they could read each other. It was surprising, given their backgrounds, Jay was a Ranger who was trained to kill and Harper was a girl from the streets who had fought like hell to survive.