Always Here: A Jay Halstead fanfic

Chapter Forty

It had been three days since her encounter with Jay and Harper was in her bedroom, crying again, it was 5 in the morning. There it was, she had successfully managed to push everyone who cared about her away in her life.

Antonio's call interrupted her horrible trail of thoughts. Why was Antonio calling her so early? He never called her unless it was an emergency. An emergency, oh god did something happen to someone in the unit, did something happen to Jay?

She answered the call, trying to sound like she wasn't high or hungover. "Jay's been kidnapped" Harper's breath caught in her throat, "I thought you would want to know that, I sent you the video as proof" Antonio said hurriedly like he had just caught a break from the case. Before Harper could even respond, Antonio said they got a new lead and he had to go.

Harper watched the video, Jay was bruised, bloody, beaten, his hands were tied up and worst of all, they were tasering him in their own way with a cattle prod. Jay was screaming in pain and agony but he hadn't said a word about the C.I. files they wanted, a reminder of how loyal he was. It scared her how Jay could look death and torture in the eye and not look away, but she knew that was the cost of loving someone on the job.

Harper didn't have time to think about anything or even getting changed, she hopped into her car and drove to the 21st district hoping no one would stop her. Jay, her Jay, had been kidnapped and she was going to do whatever she could to bring him back home safely. When she got there, Voight was telling the team they needed a female cop to deliver fake CI files, no one had even noticed her.

"I'll do it" she said, her words changed everything, they were her first commitment to stop running away, to let people help her. Voight angrily ordered her into his office. She could tell Voight was angry and disappointed in her for doing drugs when he had tried so hard to pull her out of that life. She knew everyone was disappointed and angry at her, especially Jay.

She deserved that and more. It was her fault that Jay had gotten kidnapped, Voight said that if he had one more detective watching this might have not happened. Voight also knew that under the influence or not, Harper was the best one to get Jay back because she would do anything to make things right with her partner.

So Harper walked into the house Keyes was staying in with nothing but the ceramic knife Antonio had offered her, she would be forever indebted to Antonio for calling her. Her eyes darted around the room for Jay and when she saw him her heart broke, bruises and cuts littered his gorgeous features. She walked over to him and gently took the tape off of his mouth, trying not to hurt him anymore than he was. He could barely even sit properly and it made her heart sink.

"Jay? It's okay, I'm here" she said, the emotion in her voice almost kidnapping her words because she didn't believe them. How could she say she was here when she had broken their promise? "Harper?" Jay said, the disbelief in his eyes hurting Harper as he touched her face to make sure she was real, to make sure he wasn't hallucinating that the one person he needed was there. 

Did he not think she was going to come save him? Did he not think she didn't care about him? "I'm here Jay" she said, helping him up, "Let's go" she said. But it wasn't that easy, they had found out the CI files were fake and they had almost killed Jay, she had managed to kill them and get Jay out safely but it was a close one. Her and Jay had to fight like hell.

She walked over to Jay who was sitting on the edge of the ambulance and she couldn't even look him in the eye. A wave of pain laced with so much guilt rushed through her as she quickly glanced up at Jay. She wanted to apologize to him and tell him how sorry she was but she couldn't, she just couldn't, she didn't deserve his forgiveness.

"Harper?" Jay said softly, like he was still trying to make sure it was her. "Please come home" Jay said, Harper tore her eyes away from him looking at the ground again.

He still wanted her to live in the same house as him after what she had done?

"I'm your partner, let me help you," Jay pleaded.

He still wanted to work with her after this? He still wanted her to be a part of his life?

She didn't know what to say, this was all just too much for her right now. "You need to get to the hospital and I need to go wash this off" she said, referring to the blood soaking her shirt, glancing up at him once more because she was sure if she looked at him longer she would break down crying in front of everyone. Her heart broke and she regretted not responding to his request when she saw the look of hurt in his beautiful blue eyes but she walked away, she needed to talk to Voight.

As she walked away, Jay wanted to reach out for her, ask her to come back, she was running away again he thought. He would fight like hell for Harper but he was exhausted. After they discharge me Jay told himself.