Always Here: A Jay Halstead fanfic

Chapter Twenty Six

It was Saturday, most of the team had been at the district doing paperwork. Harper, Mouse and Voight were the only people in the bullpen because the rest of the team had gone out for lunch. Jay was working his shift at the marijuana place. Harper's worst fear had come true.

She had heard Jay calling for help on the scanner, all she wanted to do was jump into her car and race over there, but Hank had stopped her because other members of the team were closer. Mouse had practically frozen until Hank had asked him to pull up more information about Jay's side job. Harper had already heard that Terry had been shot so she said a quick prayer for the family but she was scared Jay's name was going to be next.

After what seemed like the longest wait in her life, Jay had come, all Harper wanted to do was run over to him and hug him, she wanted to hold him so tight that he could never leave her. But that wasn't what Jay needed, Jay needed a strong person to lean on.

As Jay walked in, Harper rushed to his side, trying her damndest not to wrap her arms around him, "Terry's at med" Jay explained gravely, as Harper nodded. Before Harper could even ask how he was he said, "Let's just focus on solving this case." Harper nodded, she understood, she knew what it was like to want to push your feelings to the side to deal with them later.

She accepted Jay's statement because she knew, sooner or later you were going to have to deal with your feelings no matter what, it's just a matter of time. Erin came rushing to Jay, giving him a hug. "Jay I heard what happened, I'm so sorry, if you ever need to be with someone that cares about you, I'm here." Jay nodded his thanks barely even wrapping his arms around her and reciprocating her actions before walking to the bullpen.

Harper was furious, did Erin think that she didn't care about Jay just because she didn't run up to him and drape herself all over him? Harper wanted to say something but she knew Jay definitely didn't need two girls fighting over him so she kept quiet. When Erin noticed that Harper had, nothing to say she smirked in victory making Harper internally roll her eyes.

That day was draining for everyone. The only thing Jay focused on was solving the case. He was talking to Briana's husband with Harper, slightly embarrassed after hearing about how Briana wanted to screw him and that's when he got the call from med. The call telling him that Terry was pronounced dead, all Jay could think about was Terry's pregnant wife, and how it was his fault the baby wouldn't have a father.

Jay was angry at himself, angry at everyone but if he wanted to be kept on the case he knew he would have to have his head in the right place. As they left, Jay told Harper about Terry dying trying his hardest to keep his voice steady, to not show any emotion, Harper was upset, she felt horrible for Jay. She knew how much this would impact Jay, hell, it was already obvious that Jay was sad, she could almost feel the waves of pain, guilt and sadness radiating off of him.

They had caught all the shooters and Jay had injured some of them in the process, but it didn't feel as good as he thought it would. Deep down, he knew that wouldn't bring Terry back, but he wanted, needed, to get justice for Terry. Jay was pissed and he felt beyond guilty, he also didn't even know what he was going to do with himself next week since Voight was making him take a week off.

As Jay walked to Terry's house to talk to his wife, he couldn't help but think of the time when he was doing this after one of the members of his unit had been killed. Would Terry's wife tell him it was his fault? Would she say it should have been dead? If she did, it would be true Jay told himself. So, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.