Always Here: A Jay Halstead fanfic

Chapter Thirty Nine

Harper was at Savannah's house, she didn't have to worry about her dad because him and Savannah had broken up a long time ago. Harper was laying down in a room, her old room, angry tears rolling down her face at the thought of not being able to protect her sister.

She had quit her job, because she couldn't protect anyone in her life, how could she protect her coworkers, her partner, who put their lives on the line everyday? Her partner, Jay, a wave of sadness rushed in, she had broken the promise, their promise to always come to each other. She didn't deserve Jay. She was nothing more than Savannah, a drug addict who always turned to drugs when things got bad.

Savannah walked in and Harper wiped the tears in her eyes, "Sweetie, this will make you feel better, it's so sad that Lily is dead, poor girl and I know you are too but this is all Hank's fault, you guys were trying to find Lily on his watch, I'm so glad you quit working under him, ever since he stole you from me, I've been thinking about all the things he put you through, put us through" Savannah said in a honeyed tone, passing Harper a bottle of pills.

Pushing away the unwelcomed pangs of sadness at the thought of her sister and her partner, Harper downed a couple of pills with a shot that Savannah had offered her. "There's someone I want you to meet, come on" Savannah said once Harper had taken the drugs. Harper already knew who it was going to be, Jimmy, they always got free drugs when she was fucking with him.

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It had been two weeks since Harper had told Hank she was going to get her job and three weeks of doing drugs and alcohol, trying to drown her sadness out. She knew she couldn't go back to work, Voight had given up on her and she couldn't face Jay after what she had done. After she had gotten her sister killed, after she had broken their promise. Right now, she was high, battling a hangover and making out with Jimmy.

Jay had tracked her phone, Harper's furlough was about to end, he needed to get her back to work. Jay missed his partner at work, he missed Harper. He could barely even sleep right without her in the house. He used to be able to sleep with his backpack as a pillow, in the sand, but now he couldn't even slip without his partner in the same house.

Jay was hurt that Harper had run away from everyone who cared about her, run away from him, instead of letting him help her. When he found her at the club, his heart broke, she was making out with a random guy, instead of him. He pushed away the jealousy laced around his sadness, he was supposed to get Harper, not get in a fight with a guy.

"Harper" Jay called out roughly, she immediately sobered up. The usual kind tone he spoke to her with was gone now, he doesn't trust me anymore, Harper thought to herself. She quickly untangled herself from Jimmy and put on her sunglasses so Jay couldn't see how dilated her eyes were.

She was angry that Jay had come and looked for her. Did he not realize that she didn't deserve someone as good as him? "You tracked me?" she scoffed putting her hands on her hips and looking down even though she was wearing sunglasses, she was trying to push him away, he didn't need an inside look into how sorry and stupid her life was.

Jay rolled his eyes and pulled her sunglasses off, when Harper looked into his eyes, her heart sank, there was a look of betrayal, anger, hurt even and it was all because of her. As Jay looked into her eyes that could usually read him like a book, he noticed her expression mirrored the same vacant one that she worn in the picture of her and her sister at a club, she had been doing drugs.

"Voight put you on furlough, it ends tomorrow" Jay explained, hoping that just this once, she would come to him and let him help her. "Well I quit, so I'm not coming back" Harper said rolling her eyes. Harper was in love with Jay, she couldn't go back to him knowing he would never love her the way she loved him. Jay was angry "I don't know who the hell you are but if you ever find Harper Sky again, tell her she made me a better cop and a better person" he yelled at her. She scoffed, rolling her eyes, taking her shades from him before walking away.

Jay was dumbfounded, Harper had walked away from him, it was over, they were over. He wasn't ready to give up on her. She meant everything to him

Harper had already fallen so far deep into a hole, she couldn't dig herself out. She wanted to stop doing the drugs but she couldn't because when she wasn't high or drunk, she could only think about Lily.