I for one, never believed in love, for the simple fact that no one was there to love me.
That's how it's been my whole life, never had someone to love me and love back.
Sure, it was nice. I had no one to worry about and I can only worry about myself but... It always felt like I was missing out, on love.
I started feeling especially lonely when my best friend began dating. She was a great friend at times but bring a boy into the situation and she'd drop me quicker then someone with the plague.
But I'd wait and watch, her flings never lasted longer then 3 days. She's also another factor of why I'm glad I have no one to love, because I won't get hurt, I won't be disappointed. Not that I'm not disappointed with myself, but that's besides the point.
But what hurts the most, the most heart wrenching pain is when you actually start to invest your feelings into someone who wants either nothing to do with you or they simply don't see you anything more then a friend. It's a pain that I tend to bare, mostly because I have to.
But this was who I was. I always knew somehow God hated me and his punishment was to leave me lonely and sad for the rest of my life, for what reason he hated me, I don't know.
But he did.
