Bound by Blood

Chapter 38- sweet sorries

JB POV:

I re-enter her bedroom, easing my way next to the side where Gyeom-ah has nestled himself as close as physically possible to (Y/N). The bond tying us together is restless and fidgety and the connection we have with (Y/N) is also weak and slightly strained- an echo of her inner turmoil at the moment.

My eyes are worried as they land on her, seeing the defensive and vulnerable curve of her shoulders. Having known her for several years now, I can read all of her body expressions easily and I know that when she's hurting, she has a tendency of trying to look as small as possible- and it pains me that I can't fulfil that sense of security by tucking her small frame into my arms and holding her.

There's a lot of words that'll need to be said, lots of talks to make clear just how precious and cherished she is for our coven and that there'll be no space for forgiveness in our hearts if they mess up again. (Y/N) might give them a second chance, a third, likely even a fourth- she feels too intensely, tries to see the good in everyone her heart is tender- but that doesn't mean we let her be open and exposed to endless hurt.

I wait for her decision- ready to accept whatever she says. If she wants to talk, we'll give her that space. If she doesn't want to, then nothing in existence will stop me from whisking her away from the stifling atmosphere if she wants to escape.

(Y/N) POV:

I stiffen when Jimin voices those words, that one sentence that manages to trudge through my veins like a slow pooling of ice that stiffens my blood and turns it icy cold. The arms become even more restricting and confining and I try to lean away, to escape from them but his grip remains like an unmoveable band- firm and unrelenting.

Gyeomie raises his head to scan my eyes for any hesitation, any refusal- silently questioning whether I want him to stay or not.

The others are already shifting, rising to their feet even as they shoot me and Jimin worried glances- lingering at the doorway.

"Do you want us here (Y/N)? If you need any of us, we wouldn't mind staying- if there's anything you need us for, give us a shout." Jin oppa says seriously, face warm and inviting but equally respectful and mindful of my decision- offering me an alternative as well.

I dither, unable to decide whether or not I want to hear him out. Whether or not I need the silent support of my mates. My eyes catch onto Yoongi who's standing slightly turned away, but his eyes are narrow and silently observant, watching carefully. When he realises I've been staring back, he ducks his head away- unable to keep his gaze, and it hurts- that despite it all, it still looks like he can't stand to see me; he looks extremely uncomfortable and on-edge given the stiffness of his shoulders and tightly coiled body.

If I don't, even if it gives me the personal satisfaction of being able to choose this time, of the way the it can be, I can't help feeling that in some way, if I don't give him a chance, it'll bring him the hurt he brought me- and I wouldn't want anyone to experience that. And a part of me begs me to hear him out, to see if even a slither of hope remains- if that warmth that comes from his touch can also be felt through his words.

I don't know if I'll live to regret it, but not giving him a chance to speak will surely become to be a life-long regret of what if's and what could have been.

"I'll...I'll speak to him." I hedge tentatively, his arms around me squeeze and tighten for a fraction of a second, as if he truly hadn't expected me to give him that chance.

The tension bleeds from the room and Gyeomie raises his head to look at me- deeply searching my eyes for even a fraction of anything other but agreement and consent.