2022, May 20 - Taehyung (I Don't Want To Kill Him, But Myself)

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(A/N: Loop #1)

[Place: Kim's house.]

There's a familiar smell. It's the stale odor of mold. The damp musk of the wallpaper. And... That stench of alcohol.

"Where the hell have you been all night?!"

I turn to see abeoji's bloodshot eyes, and behind him... I see my noona. My noona's swollen face. She can't even lift her head. A surge of defiance courses through me, but-

"Taehyung-ah, tell abeoji you're sorry and go to your room." The desperation in her eyes roots me to the spot.

🔴

(A/N: Loop #1: Apologize.)

I decide to do what my noona asks. I don't want to stoke his anger. He'll only hurt her worse.

"I asked what you've been doing! Are your abeoji's questions a joke now, huh?"

I need to stay calm... I have to hold it in... "I'm sorry." I lower my head, and my noona relaxes in relief. But...

"Sorry? Then you should have done whatever you're sorry for! A good beating should set your head straight!"

🔴

(A/N: Loop #2: Go to your room.)

I try to ignore my noona's uneasiness. My abeoji continues to shout as I head into my room to escape.

"Where do you think you're going?! Get back here! A bastard like you needs a good beating to get it through your head!"

🔴

He seizes me by the collar. The second abeoji lays his hands on me, something inside me bursts. It rages.

"What have I done wrong?! You're the one who needs to get things straight!"

"W-what did you say?!"

Kim Eunhye: Kim Taehyung!

I...

🔴

(A/N: Loop #1: Shake him off.)

I can't stand it any longer.

"Oh? This punk-" I shove him off and he falls backwards to the floor.

Kim Eunhye: Taehyung-ah, please! Appa... are you alright?

Kim Sunghoon: That... That bastard just-!!

🔴

(A/N: Loop #2: Hold still.)

"You've got a lotta nerve looking straight in the eye!"

🔴

"Why are you doing this?" There's only one thought in my mind. "How long? How long do we have to keep doing this?!"

Kim Eunhye: Appa, please! Stop-!

Why does my noona need a beating? A voice continues to yell in my head. How long are you going to do this?

"You two are a double dose of pain in my ass today!" Abeoji swings at my noona, who's thrown herself between us.

Kim Eunhye: Augh-!

She sways at the rough blow.

"Noona!" I can hardly stand how unfair it is - and how angry it makes me. What have we done wrong? Why do we have to live in fear like this? I feel wronged. It makes me angry. All the thoughts and feelings combust and explode, and the situation before me slows as the sound of my heart pounds in my ears. The cold bottle that I've picked up somehow... Grows warmer from the heat of my hand. "Aaaaaaarrrrgg-!"

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