BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, Jul 14 - Seokjin (I Confided All of My Secrets)

[Places: Street pub or tent bar, road, bus stop, convenience store]

I sat on a bench at a tent bar next to Namjoon. It was after midnight, (A/N: in the time loop from June 18, Year 22, this happened BEFORE midnight) but the tent bar was filled with guests who had come to close their days with bitter drinks.

The call came in the afternoon. Namjoon had asked me to meet him after his shift at the gas station. And he hadn't said anything so far. He just continued to drain glass after glass.

I asked him if anything was wrong, and he just smiled and shook his head.

"It's just that my life hasn't changed a bit since I was born. It doesn't get better or worse."

Namjoon said that his energy had run dry. That he'd pretended to be a friend when he couldn't do anything for us. That was why he couldn't meet Taehyung or visit Jungkook again. That he was making excuses even at this moment and he was nothing.

Our high school years came to mind after we'd had quite a few drinks. That incident Taehyung disclosed on the beach. Why did Namjoon defend me then?

"Why did you do it then?" Instead of answering my question, Namjoon asked another.

Why did I do what I did then? Eommeoni's death, my childhood at my maternal halmoni in LA, abeoji's cold expression when I came back to Korea. I'd never felt the warmth of a family. Maybe I was feeling tipsy or it was the night air, but I confided all my secrets that I'd never revealed before.

"Now I know everything about you, but aren't the others also waiting for you to share your story? Waiting for you to give them a clue about what happened then?" Namjoon said after listening to my confession.

I told him goodbye and headed home. I strolled along the street for some time staggering a bit. The night breeze was refreshing, and the moon in the sky was bright. I stopped in front of some graffiti painted on the bus stop.

If I confessed everything, would Namjoon believe me? If someone confessed to me what I was going to say, would I be able to believe that person?

A few days ago, I drove past the convenience store where Taehyung was working. Through the car window, I could see him smiling. He was talking to a customer and laughing out loud. That familiar laughter that made his mouth turn into a square shape. What is there to talk and laugh so loudly about with a customer? Well, Taehyung had always been like that. He shook with laughter at jokes no one found funny and shed tears at things no one found sad.

How should I reconcile with Taehyung? The future appeared bleak.