2022, Jul 28 - Jimin (Hoseok Hyung And What Dancing Means To Me)

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[Places: Two Star Burger, road, rooftop, practice room]

I checked the inside of Two Star Burger joint. Hoseok hyung was nowhere to be seen. It's been four days since he last showed up at the practice room. Someone said he told my dance partner that he'd take a break, but after that, he didn't answer anyone's call. He didn't even read the messages posted in the ‘Just Dance’ group chat.

I knew his ankle was bothering him. Maybe it was that night. The night when my dance partner was injured because of me. It had rained that night, and he carried her on his back to the hospital in the rain. His condition must be getting worse.

As I stepped into the restaurant, the workers greeted me cheerily.

"Is Hoseok hyung off today?"

They said he was on sick leave, probably for three weeks, but they weren't sure. His ankle got worse. He had to wear a cast, and the manager recommended that he take some time off.

(A/N: Throwback)

I ran directly to his house. I couldn't wait for the bus to come, so I ran up the sloping road. It was scorching hot that day. My back was dripping with sweat. I darted up the stairs to his rooftop room. The doorknob, heated by the sunlight, was burning hot. It was locked. I left a message in our group chat.

"Where are you, Hoseok hyung?"

By the end of the day, he still hadn't replied.

(A/N: End of throwback)

Even today, I stayed behind in the practice room. It was already past 12am and the bus was already unavailable.

To be honest, I waited for the bus to be unavailable. In that way, I could use the room by myself to practice. When I practice with others, I only saw my lacking. So I got anxious. I was also scared. But I wanted to do it somehow. So I stayed behind every night.

Days passed and surprisingly feeling scared was gone from my head. The fact that dancing is so fun, only that remained. For a long time, the small weak me that I made inside my head was real me. As I danced the weight of my body, length of my arm, I constantly thought of the speed and the power I could pull out. 'Dancing me' was not small nor weak. My skills in dancing improved honestly. Movements that were not smooth, as I practiced in the end, I was able to pull it off. I was growing. It was only by fingernails but I was growing.

I also realized I was a talkative person. When I dance stories I couldn't tell, the ones I didn't talk about I was able to express it. As I started to dance for the first time, I started to like myself.

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