BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, May 19 - Jimin (Hospital, Bus Stop)

(A/N: Loop #1)

[Place: Hospital]

I'm moved back to the psychiatric ward after Seokjin hyung and Taehyung's visit. (A/N: Refer to May 13 Year 22)

This place is still the same. The ahjusshi that utters to himself, saying he's not crazy. The kid that stays glued to the window, always waiting for their eommeoni. And then there's me, unable to progress because I'm locked in the past.

If nothing changes even as time flows, how is it any different than time standing still?

I watch the falling drops of rain and I can hear the sound of it in the distance. I can smell sharp stickiness and hear the cold sound of metal.

I see a vision of myself on that day, reflected in the water on the sink.

"... I hate it." I want to forget everything. I want to rest.

***

(A/N: Loop #2)

[Place: Bus stop]

In the end, I had to go to the arboretum. I had to give up on the lies – that I did not remember what had happened there.

Hiding out in the hospital having seizures – I had to stop all these things. And to do that, I had to go to that place. With that decided in my heart, I had come to this bus stop for days on end. But I had not been able to ride the shuttle bus to the arboretum.

Yoongi hyung dropped down onto the seat next to me after three buses had already come and gone. When I asked why he’d come, he said it was because he had nothing to do and was bored. And with that, he asked why I was sitting here like this.

With a bowed head, I hit the ground with the edge of my shoe. I thought about why I was sitting here like this. It was because I had no courage. I wanted to pretend I was okay now, pretend to know something now, pretend that I was able to easily deal with such things now – but I was actually afraid. What I’d run into, whether I’d be able to bear it, if I wouldn’t have a seizure again – I was afraid of all these things.

Yoongi hyung looked at ease. As if there was nothing in the world deserving to be rushed, he said that the weather was good, and other useless things.

Only once I heard this did I realise that the weather really was good today. I had been so anxious that I had not been able to survey my surroundings. The sky was so blue. A warm breeze blew intermittently.

And the shuttle bus to the arboretum was coming. The bus stopped and the door opened. The driver looked at me.

I impulsively asked. “Hyung. Can you come with me?"

***

(A/N: Official English version from Loop #2)

I had to return to the Grass Flower Arboretum. I had to stop lying about not remembering what I'd seen there. It was time to stop hiding in the hospital and put an end to my seizures. To do that, I had to go back there. But, for days, I went to the shuttle bus stop and failed to get on the bus.

After I watched the third bus of the day pull away, Yoongi hyung suddenly appeared and plunked down next to me. He said he came out because there was nothing to do and he was bored. Then he asked me what I was doing here. I kept my head bend low and kicked the ground with the toe of my sneaker. I was seating there because I didn't have courage. I wanted to pretend that I was okay now, that I knew enough, and that I could easily overcome this. But I was afraid. I was afraid of not knowing what I was about to face, whether I would be able to endure it, and whether I would have a seizure again.

Yoongi hyung looked relaxed. Laid back, he murmured something like "the weather is so nice" in a carefree manner.

The weather really was nice. But I was so tense that I couldn't afford to look around, let alone enjoy the weather. The sky was blue. A mild breeze blew occasionally.

The shuttle bus was approaching from a distance. The bus stopped and the door opened. The driver stared at me.

I asked hyung, "Will you go with me?"