BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, Jul 10 - Taehyung (Convictions)

(A/N: Loop #1)

[Place: Alley]

I darted down the sloping roads and through narrow back alleys. I'd lived in this neighborhood for about twenty years. I knew every nook and cranny. Every corner brought back stories and memories. But this wasn't the time for reminiscing. The police were chasing me. I couldn't afford to get lost in memories. But as I turned one corner after another, as I jumped one fence after another, it felt as if time was winding backwards.

(A/N: Kinda throwback)

I spray-painted graffiti at the bus stop for the first time in a long time. I picked up the spray cans again because of a one girl.

I ran into her while she was trying to steal food from a convenience store a few days ago. She couldn't bring herself to look down at her empty hands. She was obviously scared of her empty hands. I didn't want to admit that I knew exactly how she felt. You have to look squarely into your own empty hands. No one can do it for you. But I couldn't turn my head away from her. I recognized the look on her face. The look when you feel like you don't belong anywhere in the world. When you're afraid you are responsible of everything that went wrong in your life. When you are lonely and don't know where to go or stay.

I saw that girl from time to time after that day. We didn't do anything special together. We just sat on the street or walked along the railroad. Then we did some graffiti together. She seemed to feel awkward holding a spray can for the first time but she did her best to follow what I did.

Finally, we came to the bus stop. Namjoon hyung got off at this bus stop. The police also frequently showed up here. I once got caught spraying graffiti here. The girl tried to read my face as I stood still with a spray can in my hand.

I hadn't been in touch with Namjoon hyung since I saw him at the hospital. But I did pass by his container by the railroad one night several days ago. I was out in the street to get away from abeoji and his drunken temper. I just blindly ran out, wandered around aimlessly, and saw the light on at the container. Someone was in there. It must've been Namjoon hyung. I wanted to go in. But I couldn't. I got closer and could hear a faint melody and snoring sound. I sat on the ground in front of the container and looked up at the sky. It was literally pitch black without any hint of stars.

(A/N: End of throwback)

The police were gaining on me fast. I was hiding in an alley with a dead end. There was no way out. It was meant to be. Even if I stopped reminiscing and concentrated on getting away, I'd get caught anyway. It was the expected outcome. No problem could be solved with empty fists.

I walked out of the alley and put both my arms up. I surrendered.

***

(A/N: Loop #2)

[Places: Container town, Songju City]

I woke up startled because Namjoon hyung was shaking my shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

I saw the worried look on his face, but I couldn't open my mouth to answer him. I had countless nightmares, but this was the first time to feel fear like that. Empty and blank, I looked down at a towel he handed me.

When I gradually stopped sweating, I recalled where I was and how I got here.

Last evening, I came to hyung's container to avoid my abeoji's drunken rage. I became afraid of falling. It began when I realized my god awful nightmares we're just nightmares but somehow linked to reality.

Every dream was mind boggling especially the ones about Seokjin hyung. The dreams seemed to be demanding some kind of answers from me. As if they were telling me that there was a problem and I had to fix it. But I couldn't do a thing on my own.