BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, Jul 25 - Namjoon (Hoseok's Rage Against His Helplessness)

[Places: Gas station, burger joint]

Seokjin hyung will call us, right?

I got Taehyung's text in the morning. The container was littered with the traces of last night. For the first time in a long while, the place had been crowded with all seven of us. The mood, however, was too dry to call it a party.

I texted him back. Let's wait and see.

I felt uneasy the whole time at work. I thought of Hoseok last night and thought about texting him several times. It was solely my fault that they would clear out the orphanage ealier than scheduled. If I hadn't dumped those papers in the reporter's lounge, the redevelopment plan would've been at standstill as before. Hoseok knew this, too.

After work, I headed to the Two Star Burger. I saw Hoseok from the window. He wasn't serving a customer or working at the cashier; he was just sitting on one of the chairs in the joint.

Our eyes met. Hoseok saw me but turned his eyes away. I walked around the building, waiting for him to get off work. Hoseok walked out on cruches. Yesterday, he had dressings on his ankles, but today he had cast on.

"Did it get worse?"

Hoseok didn't answer. I slowed down to walk with him.

"Maybe you should take a cab?"

Hoseok still didn't say a word. It was the first time ever for me to feel this uneasy around Hoseok.

"Are you off to work now? Or are you still on the clock? Is something wrong? Are you going to join the protest for the orphanage?"

Hoseok stopped. "Namjoon-ah, I'm going to go by myself." Hoseok looked emotionless.

The Jung Hoseok I knew wasn't like this. I knew what the orphanage meant to him.

"I'm so sorry. It's all because of me." My words had no beginning or an ending. "But there must be something I can do."

Hoseok let out a sigh and said, "You do? Do what?" And he couldn't continue.

There was an implied blame in that silence: How are you better off than us who live in the orphanage when you live in the container village soon to be demolished? I knew he wasn't blaming me; he was raging against his helplessness.

"Namjoon-ah, you should go."

Hearing his tired voice, I stopped. And I watched until he became a blur.