Carpe Noctem - cash au -

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

A/N Small explicit scene. For mature audiences only.

Nash POV

3:15am.

Saturday night is one of the worse night of my life. I am miserable. I am miserable, awake and alone. It gets to the point that I seriously contemplate breaking into my moms alcohol cabinet and drinking to forget and pass out. But I luckily I come to my senses before it gets that far. I decide to give Cam space Saturday night, because I understand that it is a lot to take in. It doesn't make me miss him less, it doesn't make me crave him less.

As I lie on the bed in my room, I can't bare to go outside on my balcony because I know I won't be able to resist the urge to call him, I'm running the entire situation through my mind over and over again. I hate regret so much, I just keep thinking about the things I could have done differently and the things I could have said differently.

6:45am.

I'm still just lying there unable to sleep as the sun rises. I am waiting for a semi-decent hour before I attempt to call Cam. I want to talk to him again, I need to find out if he forgives me and will allow me to make it up to him. This will definitely include a trip to the log cabin, I'll attempt to cook all of his favorite foods and I'll spoil him the entire time. I start planning it all in my head, it has to be perfect. That's what Cam deserves.

9:30am.

I'm staring at my phone, Cam's number is typed on the screen and my finger is hovering over the call button. I'm so nervous, what if he just rejects me and wants nothing to do with me.

No. I can't let myself think that way. Cam is a sensible guy, he will understand where I'm coming from.

I hit the call button before I change my mind again and I bring the phone to my ear. I hold my breath as I wait for Cam to answer. It rings a few times before going to voice-mail and I end the call without leaving one. Maybe he fell asleep or he's in the shower. I'll wait a little longer and then I'll call him again. My phone buzzes and my heart skips a beat as I unlock it to check the message. My face drops when I see that it's Matt.

Matt-Hey bro any luck with Cam?

I reply right away.

Me- I just tried calling him, there's no answer. Hopefully he's sleeping or is showering or something. 😢

Matt replies a few moments later,

Matt- I'll try calling him and see if he picks up. If he does, I'll definitely talk to him about last night and I'll let him know what you told him was legit.

I feel relieved when I read that message. If there's anyone other than me that Cam would listen to, it's Matt. Matt is his best friend and he trusts him and his word. I anxiously wait for Matt to text me back and let me know what's going on with Cam. I decide to shower since I never got around to it overnight and I feel pretty stinky, plus it'll pass time.

I get in the my shower and turn the hot water on all the way to it's max setting. I stand under the spray for a while letting the hot water soothe my muscles. I've been so tense all night and it feels good to relax for a bit. My mind wanders to Cam as always and I'm picturing him the night we first had sex. The image of him kneeling in front of me, sucking me burns an imprint into my brain and I start to feel aroused. I have 2 choices; I can either turn on the cold water or I can jerk myself off.

It's not hard to make the choice as my hand goes down and grips my growing erection in my hand. I start to tug on it slowly, picturing Cameron and imagining that he's here right now, on his knees in front of me. I close my eyes and moan softly and I start to pump myself faster.