The CARTERS- Book 1 {COMPLETED}

Chapter 17- Hard Knock Love

"I was afraid that you would class me with your other girls in your mind and thats not me. We just went out to have fun and after I noticed he was liking the attention I decided to leave because it was becoming to much."

"Beyonce. You don't owe me any explanation but you can atleast undersatand my position when it comes to you."

"And I do."

"Just don't let him get to you and avoid ever having to ever talk to him."

"I will and I do apologize for the disresepct."

"Disresepct? You was so concern about my feelings I dont think it deserves an apology. You deserve credit and love for that ma. Nobody ever thought about my feelings."

"But I do. Thats why I had to apologize."

For about a minutes his sexy laugh rang through the phone causing me to chuckle as well; then he spoke.

"You care about me period. Thats just what it is. You don't have to hide it because I am not hiding mines."

"Jay? I am still young. My mama slapped the shit out of my face because I went out with a boy from my same state and she caught a case. Me and You would get me kicked out "

The phone line went dead once again until he spoke.

"Do you think love would overshadow it?"

"Love can overshadow anything Jay and if love is what I feel between us then I will be willing to take that risk."

"What are goals?"

"To become like Tina Turner, get married , have about 2 or 3 kids and live happily with my kids and husband."

"You never told me you wanted marriage."

"How do you tell the guy your talking to now that marriage is in your plan when he has shun all those things out of the way?"

"Did I make it hard for you to talk about them?"

"Not really because we never spoke about our love."

Jay and spoke for hours as always. It was enlightening to finally see eye to eye. As I spoke to Jay I realized that he was changing in his mind but I started to become worried because I wanted him to change for himself not because of me.

I am very particular with who my body is shared with. I have nothing against the pretty boys. My life had been planned out since I was little. My love and who I shared it with always was important. I want to be loved, I wanted to be loved and kept. The man I decided to give myself to I wanted to be the one I share my off springs with. Jay wouldn't be the first choice for anyone. He wouldn't even be the guy who would have a bunch of kids running around because girls looked at his face and not at his heart. His heart and intelligence were unmatched. He was so on target about everything. From a guy growing up in Brookyln he knew what the world has to offered and he had a open mind about everything on every topic. Everything about this man made me blush. He was so charming. He had this baby face and gangsta ora that just blended so perfectly and I can't get him out of my mind.

The smell of freshly fried pancakes and butter smooth bacons seeped through the door of my bedroom as the sun pierced its way through my curtians in my room. The scent came knocking at the door of my nose as my eyes flew open with a glow. Mama was cooking breakfast and I couldn't wait until her warm pancakes melted in my mouth. I sat up in bed and glanced around the room. My eyes then shifted to my cellphone next to the nightstand and it brought back so much memories.

Thinking about the converstion Jay and I just had made me blush,turning my face hot. Having his voice in my ear was just a blessing. I could listen to his voice and laugh all night and still smile like it was my first time.

Hands banged against my door shaking me out of my thoughts as I stumbled out of bed. Unlocking my room door Solange peeked her tiny head through.

"Bey Bey Mama finish!"

"Morning Solo and I'll be down!" I said sleepishly.

"Okay don't be late because I will eat all."

"I know greedy butt." I said laughing.

I rushed to the bathroom and completed my morning grooming and then went for breakfast. Since Marcus and I had stopped the conversation and seeing eachother I decided to work on my writing skills and the script for a new movie that Mama had brought. Jay told me he would be in the studio early today and maybe won't leave until 7 in the night so I won't be hearing from. Mama and Solange had already left the house by the time I came downstairs for breakfast. Solange was going to a friends house and mama was heading to her salon and then to start on some customes.

It was now coming to the end of the first week in June. Michelle, Kelly and I had agreed to go to Summer Jam to enjoy ourselves. But after the Marcus Houston situation Mama didnt approved. So instead they planned a vacation for us in LA. I hadn't spoke to Michelle since we left NYC but Kelly I spoke to everyday. I was always the boring type. I never really had much fun and my life evolved around music and success. Dad had return home today at 10 which meant he was coming home to ensure we were packed and ready to leave.

We had 4hours left before we board our flight to LA. Mama and Solange were staying in Houston and papa was taking Michelle, Kelly & I to LA. Although daddy called this a vacation I knew it was only a matter of time until he found a studio in LA for us. As we made our way to the airport I begged dad to stop at the Breakfast Club in Houston so I could taste my last set of southern food. I am a very full figured 18 year old who just love to eat. I was often critized for my weight from the tabloids but it never really got to me because food was never a debate when it came to me.

We finally boarded our plane to LA. As the plane prepared for take of I rest my head near the glass window and gazed of into the sun. The sun told my love story.... and it was bright.