The CARTERS- Book 1 {COMPLETED}

Chapter 78- So We Ain't We

The incredible sound of 808s and Bases rang through the air of Sony Music Studio as I moved my hips uncontrollably to the sounds of the new beat brought to me by Rodney. The movement of my hips increased as the sounds started to over cloud my mind with ideas for the next album. The feeling of empowerment over took me as a new auro cast a shadow around me making me want to feast of the troubles that surrounded my life.

The tones gave of an African vibe, yet a taste of dancehall. I moved around the studio as Angie and I goofed around coming up with verses than came out meaningless.

"So what do we think?" Rodney said lowering the volume of the music that were being released from the speakers.

"I love it. It feels so grown and thats what I want to show. I want to give of that mature, diva, bold and beautiful vibe to persons. I want to feel more connected you no? Maybe we can start shopping around for lyricst and see what comes up."

"What are you looking for tho Bey?" Angie asked collapsing on the couch.

"I wanna be able to convince myself that I am as strong, that I am woman. I need to feel that energy."

"So lets see what we looking at. Maybe we can start of with a few verses after you've completed the soundtrack for the Pink Panther." Rodney said fumbling with his cellphone.

"Ah Shit!" I yelled slapping my hands into my forehead in frustration. "I completely forgot. I should've did that instead of flying of NYC."

"Well you need to think of something." Angie intersected.

"Uggghh.... Can we probably call up Slim and Toya's brother Garvin, lets see if they can lay us out some beats." I ordered as I moved away from the music board shaking my hips to the music inside of my head.

Moving towards Angie, I playful danced in front of her shaking my ass proudly.

"Check on it!" She said manly as she started hitting her hands against my ass.

The sound of Angie's word started another round of playful lyrics as we started rapping at eachother.

The night started to fall darker as I hopped back into my SUV with Angie next to me. Anything to set my mind free I was willing to let invade my life. Since leaving NYC I have to say not much has been going my way. As soon as I touched down in LA I was greeted with magazine covers being pushed in my face as the headlines scandalize my name once again because of DC3 official separation that was on it way.

However, like always I did what needed to be done and plaster my face with smiles. As if DC3 wasn't enough, I have been recieving calls left, right and center from my publist Yvette concerning a story being leaked from Def Jams head office regarding an affair between JayZ and his protége Rihanna.

As much as I wanted to talk about it I just couldn't. Not that I didn't have the strength or guts but because everyone around me was becoming two faced. I couldn't jump to conclusion regarding Jay's situation because Yvette wouldn't allow it but in all my power I was growing weak with every line I read.

As the SUV pulled into the back parking hotel parking lot I grabbed my handbag and dashed upstairs immediately. Swiftly, I entered my room shutting the door behind me. Throwing my bag on the floor, I began removing my clothes quickly. The only thing my mind was focused on was a cold shower. For the pass 3 weeks, I have been going through the motions. Bit by bit I was feeling the walls around me starting to fall as the cracks deepen. There wasn't much I could do and I wasn't sure who I could trust.

My body started to shake as tears slipped down my eye lashes draining onto my cheeks. Moving towards the bathroom, I slammed my balded fist against it repeatedly trying to erase the scandals and stories embedded in my mind. I rested my now hot forehead against the door as I turned the door knob opening it.