Fearless

37

"I couldn't find a- oh my god hi!" Kat yelled happily as she looked at me. The loud noise sent a pain through my head causing me to flinch. "Oh sorry." She whispered and came over. "It's okay." I mumbled back.

I was afraid to talk too loud, or really do anything at this point. "Are you hungry?" Meghan asked and fiddled with the machines I was connected to. I ignored the question, not really knowing the answer to it, "I'm scared." I whispered causing Colby to grab my hand, I closed my eyes as he brought it to his lips. "What are you scared about?" He asked softly, "how fragile am I?" I wimpered to Meghan as tears filled my eyes, "not very fragile, maybe emotionally right now you are but I guess dealing with brain surgery as well as the aftershock of child birth I would say that's allowed." She said and put her hand on my shoulder, "let's get some food in you and see how you feel after, okay?" She asked and I hummed.

"You're such a badass you know that?" Colby said and leaned his elbows on my bed as he held my hand to his lips. "You really are dude, I could never deal with what you're going through." Sam said and grabbed my other hand. "My best friend is a badass mom who's gonna have the coolest stories to tell her daughter when she's older." Kat said and put her hands on my feet.

"I love you guys." I whispered as Mia started screaming. Her cries sent pain not only through my head but through my heart. I felt helpless as she cried since I couldn't really move yet.

"Shhh, it's okay sweetheart." Colby whispered as he held Mia in his arms. Mia cried loudly as I tried to bring my hands to my ears. Colby went over to the little changing station and started to change her diaper as I gasped from the pain.

I looked over at her as she wailed, but she stopped crying as soon as she looked over at me. I smiled as best as I could, "hi sweet girl." I whispered as she looked at me with her big blue eyes. "That was the cutest thing I have ever seen." Kat said quietly as she hugged Sam. I kept my eyes on her as Colby finished changing her. She would smile as coo at me from across the room, warming my heart.

When Colby brought her back over I frowned, "what's wrong love?" Colby asked and sat beside me again. "I want to hold her." I whispered and went to reach my arms out to her but they were shaking too bad. "I know baby, but I don't think you're strong enough right now." He said and bit his lip, I went to open my mouth to agree, but sobs just spilled out instead. I felt utterly useless.

"I brought- oh love...are you okay?" Meghan asked and came over to us. "I'm fine..I'm just so fucking hormonal." I sobbed out. Crying made my head throb but I couldn't help the constant stream of tears that were leaving my eyes. "I have an idea." Colby said and laid Mia down on her bed, then slid into the bed next to me, "what are you-" I started but he shushed me as he carefully maneuvered himself so I was in between his legs. My head was leaned against his chest and shoulder as he held both of my arms so that I was cradling an imaginary baby, "ooooh" Kat said in realization and ran over to the other side of the bed, she picked Mia up and placed her in my arms. Colby cradled my arms so they wouldn't be shaking.

I looked up to see Sam, Kat, and Meghan all staring at us with the same happy but envious expression. Kat pulled her phone out and took a picture as Colby rested his chin on my shoulder. "God damn I'm lonely" Meghan said which made Sam laugh, "even I feel lonely and my girlfriend is right here." He said and pulled Kat into him. Meghan groaned dramatically and grabbed my food from the table, "well when you two love bugs stop being so cute, I brought you some subpar pizza and a fruit cup." I giggled as she set it down next to my bed. "Thank you Meghan." Colby said as I smiled weakly, "love you." I whispered and looked down at Mia.

She stared up at me and Colby with amazement as we looked down at her. It felt like everything melted away in this moment. The pain in my head was gone, and the rain cloud above my head wasn't there. It was just me and my perfect family.

We sat like that for a while before Mia got fussy. "I can't wait to take her home." I said as Sam took her from my arms. "Yeah I talked to one of the nurses about that while you were in surgery. We would still be at the hospital anyways, since Mia is so small. She has to pass the car seat test and they don't think she's big enough for it yet." Colby said and I gasped, "the car seat!! We didn't even think of that when we left for the hospital." I said as Colby put my food in front of me. "Don't even worry about it babe, I had my mom set it up. She's the only one I trusted to do it." He said and kissed my head gently.

"You're incredible." I said and smiled at him, "what can I say." He said and bowed dramatically. "Watch out guys big head brock has entered the building." Kat said as she sat next to my bed, "shut up Katrina, you literally called my daughter your mini me because she has your name as a middle name." Colby said with a laugh causing her to gasp, "she is my mini me! She will have blue hair by the age of 2. Bet." She said as I laughed, "that's enough you two, you're giving me a headache." I joked and ate the pizza that was given to me. Meghan was right, it really was subpar pizza.