Darling | KTH

-:- You were my first -:-

I saw him.

"Y/N?!" That deep and beautiful voice I love....

Taehyung stood frozen just a few meters away from Jungkook and me.

-/:-/:-/:-/:-/:-/:-/:-/:-/:-

My heart was beating so fast it would probably explode, the pain I felt was killing me from inside, tears I no longer craved for started coming back faster than ever.

I couldn't think.

I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't move.

Yet I could feel...

I could feel his presence, feel his warm even if he was far, I could feel his breathing and his eyes on me.

Y/n.....

Y/n....

"Y/N!!" Jungkook yelled, making me snap back to reality, a lonely tear fell down my checks as I saw Taehyung staring at me, I couldn't tell what was going on in his head, but I could see he was struggling with something.

"Y/n are you ok?!" Jungkook repeated I looked at him but said nothing, instead I stood up.

Taehyung's eyes widened as my hand slapped him in the face.

I ran.

I ran so fast and so far away.

I didn't know where I was headed but I still ran as fast as I could.

My tears never failed to blur my vision, they kept falling out of my eyes.

My heart was in such a pain I just couldn't bare it anymore. I wanted it to be over.

Why?!

Why?!

What did I fucking do wrong to deserve this?! Do I really deserve this?!

Just when I felt like everything was going as planned, when I felt like I could finally move on.

He comes back....

Why is he back?!

And why out of all people I could bump into it had to be him...?!

My legs were numb from all the running but I didn't stop.

When the only thing that illuminated the roads and streets was the moon, was when I stopped, my legs killing me, giving up as they had ran for hours.

I fell on my knees, crying even more. My legs hurt like never but it couldn't compare to what my heart felt.

Everything was just too much for me, I really wanted everything to just be over.

Why can't we just rewind a little, go back to the time when you loved me, when we both felt like we were the only thing that mattered.

if you even ever felt like that.

You're driving me crazy.

You always did, but in comparison to now. You used to drive me crazy with the way you would hold me in your arms.

You used to drive me crazy because of the way your lips would dance on mine, the way they would draw imaginary forms all over my body.

You used to drive me crazy when you would whisper in my ear how much you loved me.

For so long, I craved for your touch.

For so long I wanted everything to just be like before.

For so fucking long all I wanted was for you to love me again.

Why can't you just love me?!

I know I can't obligate you to love me back, but when you started feeling distant from me, when you were starting to fall out of love with me.

Why didn't you fight back?

Why didn't you fight for love?

Because if you ever loved me, then you wouldn't have just gave up so fast...

You knew me so well, you knew that if what you needed was time I would've gave it to you.

Was it time? Was time alone the thing you needed..??

Or....

You actually grew tired of me..?

It was just so easy, so fast and so numb. They way you broke my heart without even looking back.

You were my first.

You were always my first.

You were my first best friend.

You were my first crush.

You were my first boyfriend.

And eventually my first true love.

But you were also my first heartbreak.

When you left, you also took something from me, a piece of my heart. When you left I felt so empty...

Emptiness surrounded me for so long.

The way I would cry myself to sleep, they way my heart would just break even more, if it was even possible, whenever I remembered you.

This wasn't normal anymore.

They way all of this affected me, it couldn't be normal.

That's when I realize...

I had an obsession with you.