Chapter 28

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CHAPTER 28- Pub. September 5, 2019

I gave a quiet knock on Jimin’s door, not wanting to intrude.

Half a minute passed. No answer.

I knocked again, this time a little louder.

I heard the toilet flush and then a voice. “Who is it?”

I replied, “It’s Sujin.”

There was a moment of silence, and then the voice said, “Come in.”

I opened the door to see Jimin closing his bathroom’s door. He still looked pale, and there were bags under his eyes, yet he tried to smile. “What’s up?” he asked in a slightly shaky voice. I didn’t reply, not knowing exactly what to say. Seeing me hesitate, he continued, “You okay?”

“I think you should be asking yourself that question,” I told him. He sighed and walked to his bed, sitting down. He fiddled with a few things on his bedside table before looking up at me.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

I rolled my eyes, “Oh. My. Gosh. Don’t say that to me. You fainted a few hours ago, and then you ran off at dinner. And you still haven’t eaten much of anything.”

He nodded his head and looked up at the ceiling.

“Jimin,” I continued, sitting on the bed next to him. “Why won’t you eat? We’ve all been noticing that you haven’t been the same for the last week. I think the members excused you when the whole thing with me blew up on social media, but now, it’s just going on too long. Now, we know we were just giving excuses.”

“I’ve been doing this since debut. It’s nothing different.”

“Since debut? Several years ago?”

“Yeah, Sujin. Keep in mind we don’t tell our fans everything.”

I nodded with a sad smile. He was right, just as the others had been earlier. What did I know?

“I’m fine, I don’t need to eat as much as the others.”

“But why not? You do just as much work as they do-”

“Because they’re perfect. And I’m not. They’ve all got perfect bodies, they all started with it. But me, I’m… ”

I raised my eyebrows. “So that’s what this is all about?” I sighed. “I should have known.”

“And even if I tried to go back now, it wouldn’t work.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I tried, I really did at first at the restaurant today. But I don’t think my body was very happy with my efforts, after treating myself like this for so long. I couldn’t- I couldn’t keep the food down,” he explained.

“Is that why you ran off?”

He nodded. “Now I don’t know what to do. If I try harder, then I won’t be happy with myself anymore.”

“But who says you’re reacting badly to food completely because you’ve been starving yourself for so long? Maybe it’s just because you don’t have the strength, the nutrients your body needs. I mean, it’s no wonder you’re more susceptible to sickness in the first place.”

“I know, but I’ve escaped that well until now.”

There was another moment of silence before I asked, “How much have you told the others?”

“Not much. They pretty much figured it out themselves, I guess.”

“But they haven’t done much to help you?”

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