Chapter 16

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CHAPTER 16- Pub May 23, 2019

The lonely streets of Seoul passed by as I watched out the rain droplet-covered glass of the car Yoongi was driving.

Neither of us had bothered to start the conversation yet, so we were each staring out a window, quiet, but not awkward. We knew that we were both  thinking and planning what needed to be said.

A few moments later, Yoongi cleared his throat, before speaking, “We’re not mad.”

“What?” I asked, half because I didn’t hear and half because I wasn’t sure if he knew what he was saying.

“We’re not mad,” he repeated, taking his eyes of the deserted road to look at me.

I sighed, “I don’t understand why not, though. I made such a big mistake. The whole world has a rumor going on about me.  There’s not much I can to do help, so I’ve just made a mess that I can’t clean up. You’ve got to be mad,” I said.

“If we should be mad at anyone, it would be Jimin, because he took you to the store without being more careful. But, it’s also our fault that we let you guys go by yourself, and it’s also the company’s fault for not telling us, or warning us not to let you go alone. So, really, it’s everyone’s fault, and no one’s fault. So we aren’t going to blame anyone. We knew something like this was going to happen,” Yoongi explained.

“That doesn’t change what happened. Yoongi, it was a stuffed bear!” I cried.

“Sujin, we know. Jimin explained the whole thing.”

“Right,” I realized. “What did your managers say about the situation?”

“Well, we wanted to talk to you about that but you wouldn’t let us, which I guess I understand. I know you’re really worried and you keep blaming yourself-”

“Yeah, I do keep blaming myself. Because no matter what happens, it’s all because of me. And if you hadn’t adopted me, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Well, Sujin, hold on a minute. You’re freaking out a lot about this. What exactly do you think is really going to happen? It’s not like we haven’t had bad rumors before.”

“I don’t know. It’s a rumor about a BTS member that’s pretty much illegally dating a girl that is much, much younger than them. One, that’s embarrassing, two, you’re probably losing MANY fans, and three, I’m worried your whole career is going to be messed up after this, because we all know what happens when people as big as you have something blow up. Your lives are magnified a thousand-fold. Nothing good is going to come from this, we can say that at least.”

“But can’t you see, Sujin? We don’t care. We care about you more than our career.”

“How? You’ve known me for less than a week. Yes, you adopted me, but what does that mean to you all yet? All I’ve done is cause trouble and drama. I wouldn’t love me if I were you,” I shot, before realizing what I was saying. I wasn’t thinking, yet again. I wanted to distract him from what I had just said, so I continued, “Yoongi, I know what you guys have done to get where you are. I know what your careers are to you. I know your careers are you lives. I can’t let myself ruin that for someone else. I can’t ruin your dream life.”

“How do you think our lives were going to continue on if we hadn’t adopted you? Do you know what we would have never learned, who we would become if it weren’t for you? You are teaching us how to become closer to each other. You are teaching us how to love someone. You are teaching us how to be human. Once we stepped our feet into the idol life, it changed. And we would lose qualities of a human being that only you can bring back. Sujin, without you, we would make some mistake or other that would be worse than a rumor. It would be worse than this, a hundred times worse, and because you’re here, we will learn. And we will not make that mistake. A mistake that later, could cost us our whole career. This is making a small bump that we can go over. This is nothing. And that’s why we aren’t mad, because I think every single member could agree that this is going to help us later on. And you are going to help us later on,” he told me, glancing at me from the road every few seconds.

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