YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! It's time for some REMUS X-
whoa. You thought I was actually gonna spoil it? Haha, as if.
IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW SANDERS SIDES EPISODE, GO WATCH IT BEFORE READING! IT'LL EXPLAIN WHO REMUS IS AND IT'LL DEFINITELY GET YOUR BLOOD BOILING-
FUCKING R E M U S THAT LITTLE SHIT!
"Shut up with your god damn obsession with butts!" Virgil threw a water bottle at Remus, who was now rubbing his head.
"It's not an obsession, more of a creative way of thinkin-"
"For the last time! You are not Thomas' creativity! That's Roman's job!" Virgil huffed and crossed his arms, now getting seriously pissed off with Remus showing himself to Thomas.
He left the dark sides for a reason. To never see them again. Yet two of them have already shown themselves. And one is claiming to take over Roman's job. Though they do have the same job, it's more of Roman's job than it is Remus'. That pile of shit.
"Why of course I am! I am a fraction, therefore, I am!" Remus proudly said, casually munching on his deoderant. "Roman's brother, you see. I am merely everything he wants himself not to be."
"Stop troubling Thomas with your weird thoughts, and get off me!" Virgil pushed him away.
"Why, you do it too, Virgil. You are as much of a bad guy as I am." Remus shrugged and sat up.
"Oh shut the fuck up."
"Well, I need to remind Thomas to jump out of a moving car. Been 7 years and he has yet to do it." Remus stood and sunk down.
"Fucking cunt." (Sorry for such foul language. I've been watching too much Fitz and Zuckles.)
"Pardon me, Dee, darling. May I get by you?" Remus asked. "Here, you can have the rest of my deoderant." He handed the snake the deoderant.
"Don't get your damn deoderant out of here! I want it!" Deceit hissed. He threw it back at him.
"Do you want juicy butthole instead?" Remus asked.
Deceit flipped him off. "Fucking- god damn it Remus!" He glared at him. "Fuck you."
"Oh I would love to!" Remus clapped his hands. "Your room, perhaps?"
Deceit groaned. "No, Remus. That's not what I meant. Just- fuck off." He rubbed his eyes, forgetting his deceitable tongue.
Remus stared at him blankly.
"What." Dee snapped.
"Quite beautiful. Yes." Remus smiled.
"Fuck you and your damned mustache." Deceit hissed. "Motherfucker.." he mumbled and looked down to hide his blush. (Just so you know, I still much prefer Remy and Deceit, but I had to do something after Remus showed up in the new episode, so.. here ya go.)
Remus smiled more. But not in the creepy way he usually does. He grabbed Deceit's hand.
"I was just going to tell Thomas to jump out of a moving car." He smiled with his teeth.
Deceit blanked out. "...what..?" He fwipped his head to Remus. "Listen, Duke, you can't keep troubling him like this."
"You and Virgil do it." He frowned.
"Out of protection." Dee grabbed his shoulders. "Listen, I know we're dark sides, and Virgil used to be one, but we still have a job. To not get this guy killed. We don't want to hurt him, we want to help him." He glanced behind him in annoyance. "And someone isn't doing a good job at that."
"You mean Paranoia, don't you?-"
He turned his head back to Remus. "Yes I mean Paranoia! He's nothing but damned trouble!" He shut his eyes tightly. "He's the god damn reason Virgil left in the first place!"
"I still get to stay in your room here in the Mind Palace, right? Cause I have yet to try your deoderant."
"God dammit, Remus!" Deceit let go of him and stormed to his room at the end of the hall. He opened his door and peered out, staring at the ground. "Yes you can still stay with me.."
Remus lit up. "Deod-"
"No! Your not eating my deoderant! As Virgil said, it shouldn't have damn flavours, because no one eats it!"
"Well maybe you don't." Remus shrugged.
"Damned duke.." Deceit mumbled before closing the door.
Remus sunk down again. "THOMAS!" He called. "JUMP OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP YOU PILE OF SHIT!" Virgil threw a water bottle at him again.
YOU ARE READING
Sanders Sides ONESHOTS
FanfictionDiscontinued. Maybe a few short chapters here and there
