It's taking all your strenght (Zarry /AU.) /English Version

83. Entertainer

Harry

It's lunchtime and I enjoy my break in a small bistro on the outskirts of town. I am the only guest. There is a TV on the wall and there is music playing. A young waitress comes to the table and pours me some fresh coffee in the cup. I immediately feel reminded of the old American films.

"Could you turn the music down a little?" I ask her.

The background noise disturbs me. So I can't let my thoughts run free. Actually, I want to eat in peace - without music. She looks at me with her big blue eyes .

"Why ?" she replies and disappears behind the counter. Sighing, I give up.

"Well then...", I reply.

"I am going to have to listen to this."

She looks spellbound at the monitor, grabs the remote control and turns it up. I eat my salad and I felt awful and unbelievably lethargic. A new song begins. Not so bad at all, I think, after the first chords are heard. As the singing begins, chills run up and down my spine. This voice hits me to the core - not to mention the lyrics. I don't want to hear the words and not see the pictures, but I do.

Zayn appears in the video and a huge rose is tattooed on the back of his head. His symbol, the rose. A new message to me? His words hurt me. Is he telling the story of how Zayn feels about our relationship ?

Am I his entertainer, with whom he laughs, with whom he fucks and who has no other meaning? Can I decode the hidden message?

Now I realize why he hasn't contacted me for so long. Does he really think I didn't take our relationship seriously? That is absurd! I only agree with him on one point. He always makes the rules. Zayn also decided to go and leave me. I begged him to stay. It was all for nothing. In the middle of the tour he left. Nobody could stop him. The only way to be with him is to play by his rules. I play by his rules - until today.

I'm not sure if I understand him right. It isn't his way of telling things so superficially. I miss the deeper meaning. I search for it and find it.

Look at the pictures in the video, Styles, I think.

They tell the real story, not the lyrics.

There's the hotel room where he's meeting with a woman. There she wears no costume and no wig. Both are lying on the bed and just they being themselves. They kiss and they love each other. Nobody and no cameras disturb them. When the woman works, there is hardly any physical contact between them, because they are always under observation.

It's like in our One Direction times, it comes to my mind. We also were always being watched. Only in hotelrooms we are who we are, when no one's watching.

In the end, I notice a detail that gives me the certainty that Zayn is talking about us. She lies in bed, he strokes her over the head, they look at each other and...and she looks like me.

That's impossible. Several times I watch this sequence on YouTube. In fact, I'm not mistaken. I am the woman.