It's taking all your strenght (Zarry /AU.) /English Version

63. Remorse III

Harry

The concert begins and we are mad. As "Little things" is sung, we sit in a circle on the stage. Zayn's back is facing me. When I sing "It's you, it's you .... I'm in love with you," then I turn to him and signal that I'm singing just for him. I want Zayn to know that I love him. Then he looks at me and taps his fingers on his earplugs. That's our sign. We listen to each other. We love each other.

During our performance, Zayn whispers in my ear that he has to talk to me later. Alone! Immediately my heart is pounding with excitement. Will he break up with me?

That night he comes in my hotel room. I'm so excited and fiddle with my fingers. Zayn sits down on my bed and seems tensed.

"Go ahead!", I say.

Zayn looks at me with a sad look.

You make sad look beautiful, Zayn Malik., I think.

"Haz, I don't know how to start," he whispers.

I keep silent.

"I'm leaving the band, Harry. Tomorrow is my last concert. I can't do it anymore. I'm burned out and unhappy!"

There was deep silence. It's so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

"You should hear it from me personally. I've already talked to Liam."

His gaze meeting the ground. He can't look me in the eye.

"You've already talked to Liam about that? Looks like you've got it all figured out. I thought you loved me! However, the poor Liam knows everything before I do!" I hiss.

" Jesus! ls that all you've got to say?"

"No, of course not! How can you give up everything we had? Why Zayn? If you leave, you not only leave the band, you leave me. You're leaving our love!" I scream.

Tears streaming down my face. They are unstoppable.

"Zayn, say something!"

I kneel down in front of him and take his hands in mine.

"Why?" I ask.

"Why are you doing this to us?"

He looks me in the eye and wipes away my tears with his cold fingers, kisses me on the lips. Our kiss is passionate and intimate. We lie on the bed and sleeping together, believing we can save something in the lost situation. To save something what's already been decided - by Zayn. We believe we can stop the time. I thought a kiss from my lips is enough to make change his mind.

During our orgasm, I scream with all my might:

"Don't leave me! I love you, Baby! Don't leave me alone, I can't live without you!"

I kiss his face with hundreds of kisses. Zayn's eyes are close. He doesn't say a word.

His decision has been made. Today is his last Show and is like a stab in the heart. I can't look him in the eye. It hurts me. All my pleading and my tears didn't change anything. He leaves and leaves me behind. I am meaningless. I am broken.

At "Little things" I watch Zayn over the huge monitors. I see tears in his eyes. He sings "Little things" for me and I can't bring myself to look at him. My heart is broken. I'm disappointed. Tomorrow his place is empty on stage. I'm so torn that I want to scream out loud. This helplessness breaks me. The boys wear it with composure. A show without Zayn and to know, he doesn't come back, lets me die inside.

" Parting is all we need to know of hell."